[Betty9674]

YES!!!!

I have the same problem. I get horney as about 3 or4 times a year.
I feel sorry for the hubby as he can not understand why most of the time I could care less about sex but when it hit's I can not get enough. I wish it would even
out and be more stable. I am 54 and have gone threw the change.
I will not cheat but when it hits it is all I can do to not cheat.

[WildChild]

Sounds like that old Star Trek episode where they visit the planet of really repressive puritan types who cut loose in an orgy once a year or so.

Just a hunch, take a look at Mama Gena and see what she says about keeping it juicy. You can learn to keep yourself on simmer, so that you can get a boil pretty quickly instead of waiting for the relief valve to blow.

[Texinator]

You can learn to keep yourself on simmer, so that you can get a boil pretty quickly instead of waiting for the relief valve to blow.

Now I'm hungry for some soup!

[WildChild]

Just don't let it boil over!

[Moni306]

Jinx and Tacklebox...it is a good thing that you both want to work on it and you (tacklebox) have come on to read what other women go through including how your wife is truly feeling. I wish my husband would but he is what he is he says and no one is going to change that and he is doing nothing wrong. When a woman is rejected it feels soo bad since as women growing up from what I have seen was that a horny woman that always wants her man is a good thing and a blessing to the man. When we are rejected we feel as if we have done something wrong...let our looks go..gained a little weight.

In my case I am always horny but lately that has been slowing down as tired of competing with my husbands porn habit. We just got back from vacation for 12 days and had sex maybe 4 times...mostly for him. Towards the end we were going through the channels and he said what he needed was a good porn!! What the !! I know I'm not young anymore but knowing that most days during the week as soon as I go he is on his computer looking a porn and masturbating. He tells me he isn't horny anymore but if he can do that 3 to 4 times a week he is horny...but just not with me I feel. I have tried all kinds of ways but nothing helps...what he likes are the teen lesbians all the time...I can't make myself young again! I am not a totally overweight person...I am 5'4..and because of vacation am 142lbs..wear a size 4 pant..I am getting a trainer just to get me on the right track for exercising but I am doing it for myself...not for him. He has told me he is a visual guy and likes small butts(that made me feel real good) and tells me when he first meet me I was like that. People change and no one ever really stays the same...he ain't what he was either when I meet him but I love him and accept him as he is and he still turns me on...until this porn has gotten out of hand. I mean even if he doesn't do himself he looks at it everyday when he is home.

For you Jinx it is a very good thing that your husband can see what is happening and wants to fix it...for us unfortunately it may be the "didn't know what I had till it was gone" thing. A woman needs to be touched and needed...I have now conditioned myself that when we do have sex that I go as quickly as I can as that is the way he likes it...to the point and done..although it would be nice once in a while to just slow down and enjoy it. He by me sex toys all the time I think to take the pressure off me needing sex but when I do I feel like it is just and empty orgasm..don't know if anyone would understand what I mean...but a dildo is just not the same as having a body there to touch and love on.

My advice is since you are both on board try experimenting in the bedroom...heck..I do think a little bit of porn together isn't a bad thing as long as you both agree on what to watch. Even just little touches between each other during the day be it just a hand on the back and little pat on the butt..a kiss can get things started for the night. Knowing that you are wanted is a wonderful feeling...Jinx...for now you should start it off...they always say foreplay starts long before you are in the bedroom. I have tried this myself but lucky for you, you do not have the porn and masturbation issue I have so this may work well for you..including your husband is on board is a serious plus!

I wish you both luck and hope that I can someday have a husband that really wants to try..it may never happen but it is worth the shot since I do love him.

[pretzel]

"...what he likes are the teen lesbians all the time..."

Sorry, there is just something about this that has me a little nervous.

Aside from the fact that it's porn as opposed to you, this is bordering on child porn.

I think it's time for a good heart to heart.

[Moni306]

Teens are just what the sites call them...ages 19 to 20...I would not call it child porn & from what I saw what he wad seeing they looked older. I find most men like the younger women unfortunatly..I'm 9yrs younger than him. We had had many talks but never gets resolved even though he knows it's a problem...so I just keep plugging away hoping someday he will come back around before it is too late :0(

[caterpillar79]

Teens are just what the sites call them...ages 19 to 20...I would not call it child porn & from what I saw what he wad seeing they looked older. I find most men like the younger women unfortunatly..I'm 9yrs younger than him. We had had many talks but never gets resolved even though he knows it's a problem...so I just keep plugging away hoping someday he will come back around before it is too late :0(

I'm sorry about your situation. You are strong.

[Moni306]

Thank you all for your support and advice. Believe me...I know he is a good man he just has some issues....BIG issues to me. It is amazing...in my first marriage of 14yrs sex was not all that important and my ex husband did look it (not this much) and it didn't bother me. This marriage I am always horny and his porn and masturbation use really does bother me..I am not naive and know guys masturbate but when your sex life with your spouse suffers because you would rather do that than have sex with your wife that NEVER tells you no and always available...there seems to be a problem to me. Jinx is lucky as she has a man that does see the problem and is willing to work on it...that would be soo wonderful! I'm glad I have this blog to be able to say what I need to say without being judged and people understand what I am going through and I thank all of you!

[WildChild]

Good luck in helping him see the light. I'm picking up from the tatters of a relationship that couldn't survive it, he prefers an image on a screen and his hand and is highly defensive about it - the subject isn't open to discussion. It can be an intimacy killer.