[athlete]

with age its become more and more intense this craving for sex way too often. is there a medicine to take to calm the too intense urge to want to & let everything else that needs to be done be put on hold? without decreasing athletic performance or ambition?

[StillLearnin]

with age its become more and more intense this craving for sex way too often. is there a medicine to take to calm the too intense urge to want to fu*k & let everything else that needs to be done be put on hold? without decreasing athletic performance or ambition?

There's nothing like that available, besides the drive naturally subsiding with age. Sounds for you (and me) that it will be old, old age before the drive goes away.

Dude... You're ....ed!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

[Moni306]

It is crazy how the older women get it seems the more hornier they are and the older men get they get less!! With my first marriage of 14yrs I have never had this kind of sex drive...he probably would have LOVED it....ha ha ha Now I have a husband who just doesn't appreciate or should I say takes it for granit that I will always be here even when needs are not being meet! I will not cheat...I have told myself I will divorce before I do that but having kids and such it seems crazy to divorce over something like sex! But it just feels I'm not very wanted when he prefers to porn and his hand to me. I could actually masturbate 5 to 6 times a day...NO lie and then....I could just go crazy on my hubby at night :0) I guess for right now I'll have to use my other husband as someone put it (their bf)..my ol blue vibe...needing to upgrade I think

Okay..going to work on being nicer to my husband (not get on his case about sex) and see if there is any change. I won't know until the end of next week as on weekends he doesn't use porn or masturbate because I am home all weekend!

Talk soon

[WildChild]

It does seem all mixed up sometimes. I've always had a high drive and seem to end up with men who find it threatening or something - I don't know. I do get tired of listening to the snide remarks about women not wanting sex and such, when I've rarely encountered a man who can even begin to keep up with me! And over 50 it's still true. It isn't a matter of repeat performance, just really a matter getting into it and creating a quality experience, reciprocating. A lot of men want what they want but really don't seem to give a hoot what the woman in their life wants. No doubt it works the other way too. But I've always given more sexually than I've gotten. Dealing with aging men, well guess I better just get into exersize or something more...

[Explorer44]

It does seem all mixed up sometimes. I've always had a high drive and seem to end up with men who find it threatening or something - I don't know. I do get tired of listening to the snide remarks about women not wanting sex and such, when I've rarely encountered a man who can even begin to keep up with me! And over 50 it's still true. It isn't a matter of repeat performance, just really a matter getting into it and creating a quality experience, reciprocating. A lot of men want what they want but really don't seem to give a hoot what the woman in their life wants. No doubt it works the other way too. But I've always given more sexually than I've gotten. Dealing with aging men, well guess I better just get into exersize or something more...

or we could just try younger men, WC....

jk

[Jinx]

it can be a problem

I know all too well how you ladies feel. As much as I have always reveled in my sex drive (and past b/fs), I now find it to be a detriment to my marriage. My husband's libido doesn't equal mine by far.

We argue constantly. I feel like he doesn't find me attractive. He feels like the only affection i ever want is sex. That's not the way I feel about it; but, when he tries to be affectionate in other ways, i get aroused and am immediately ready for more. I wouldn't normally just put this out there; but, I'm worried. We've been married for a few years now and I love my husband. But, I don't like constantly feeling like I'm being rejected by my spouse. It makes me feel bad about my self/body. The thing that worries me the most is that it seems to be a vicious cycle. I want sex; so, I initiate contact. He then freaks out, pulls away and tells me I'm putting to much pressure on him. It makes me feel bad; so, I try harder the next time.

As a side note, I'm left resenting the fact that he has FULL control over when, where and how often we have sex. When I want it, I'm more often than not rejected. When he wants sex, I'm still hurt from my last rejection, but I want him enough I always give in anyway. I need something to help me lower my libido enough to make my sex life as it is rewarding enough for me. Any ideas/products?? , I'd even take Castor oil at this point if it would work.

[WildChild]

We've talked about this so often and haven't come up with any miracles as yet. We have agreed that the one with the lower drive generally seems to control the amount of sex. Lowering your libido really isn't a good answer, it will diminish your pleasure in life.
Had him in for a check up lately?

[Jinx]

I've practically begged him to see a doctor. I even thought about crushing up meds and putting them in his food. I keep coming back to "this feels like im poisoning him". Thats not even kind of okay in my mind.

In my mind its like this: when we DONT talk about it, it hurts me to no end. When we DO talk about it, it hurts him just as much. I don't want pleasure from someone else. If it were that easy, I would just ask him to let me use someone else for this purpose, I'm an open minded kind of gal. I read Tex's msg earlier "and then shes gone" and i literally cried. I don't want to lose my husband. But I don't know how much longer I can continue feeling like this.

I was a fat kid. After high school, I lost a lot of weight. I was happy with my self and my body. The more he rejects me, the more Im convinced its that I have gained some of the weight (not NEARLY all of it) back. This week, I tried something new. I quit eating and started excercizing extensively while hes gone. My hope is that my husband will see how much pain he is causing me and suddenly care. Stupid I know. He got really angry and said "you're punishing me by not eating". I'm not. I hurt so bad, I'm punishing me. I just hope that if I lost the weight I have gained he will look at me and want to touch me.

I am going to ask him to read this entire thread. I don't know if it will help or hurt. I just know I have to try something before this messes me up any more than it already has.

[Tacklebox]

Hello....I'm Jinx's husband. I read every post in this thread and I'm feeling a bit intimidated but that's nothing new to me. I'm posting cause maybe someone has some advice for me...I'm a man with a low libido and as Jinx has already pointed out it's hurting our marriage.

This one issue is really the only issue we've really had and it bothers me as much as it bothers her. I would like nothing more than to enjoy sex again but it's not as easy as some of you might assume. I don't expect Jinx to be able to flip on and off like a light, and I feel bad that my libido is so low but I'm really at a loss as to what to do.

I've been in a few bad relationships where sex was never really an option and I trained myself to just not care about it much anymore. It wasn't easy to do and it wasn't a desirable outcome but it is what happened. The retraining of my libido is not going nearly so well....it seems it's easier to train myself to not think about it than it is to get it back to a normal level.

I love Jinx more than anything else in this world and it would be a crying shame if this issue was what ended what (to me) is the greatest thing in the world.

A few years ago I went to a psychologist to see if I couldn't get this issue resolved, but because of work and money I had to give up seeing the doctor while the problem was not resolved.

I'm frustrated, I'm confused, and I'm worried. I know that Jinx loves me, and I know I love her....and more than anything in the world I'm afraid of losing her over this.

I know this is a woman's health site but maybe one of you reading this can help. At first when I saw she had posted on here I was pretty upset, but she's right. And I can't stand the thought of her hurting like this.

This isn't exactly easy for me. It's quite emasculating knowing that my sex drive isn't normal. I feel like less of a man and I don't like that.

I'm not afraid to say that I have a problem and I've been searching for answers for a long time and as of yet have found nothing.

I'm sorry that so many of you go through this. It isn't fair or right. I wish that I could change it but I honestly don't know how.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I've been in a few bad relationships where sex was never really an option and I trained myself to just not care about it much anymore. It wasn't easy to do and it wasn't a desirable outcome but it is what happened. The retraining of my libido is not going nearly so well....it seems it's easier to train myself to not think about it than it is to get it back to a normal level.

Hey Tacklebox, welcome to the Forum.

It's evident you both love each other and every relationship has problems, solving them is not necesarily easy but remember, everything is possible.

I highlighted something you stated and I think that this is the issue for you, it's still for-front in your mind.

You had to block alot of things out unfortunately and you then met a woman you love and wanted in your life, but your still stuck in the past.

Can you elaborate more on what I highlighted as to why you were put in this position?

What you have to realise though irrespective is not everyone is the same, we are all different creatures.

You know Jinx loves you. You know in your heart you love her.

This "is" a different relationship to what you have endured, and you do need to embrase it.

You both can communicate, all-be-it that she felt the easiest way for her was for you to read her "heart" through her writing, but you did and you responded, that's a huge step and a good one.

Nothing "changes" overnight, things take time, but the first step is to let go of the past, it's the past..

How beautiful that your living in a different world, one you wanted, needed and have, and no more do you have to suffer, and feel anything like you did before.

Because this time it's for real.

Re-read that ....

CW