[madetolove]

........And I do agree that physical things can be dealt with as they happen, but it is the mental "Alls you want is sex" part that is the most difficult to overcome.

Sorry for my posts again...

As for the above, the "All you want is sex" mentally is really difficult to overcome.

If a person mental is blocked and wouldn't want to change, I guess it is tough to keep trying to explain how we feel and hope for miracle to happen!

Anyway, I think I will or had given up trying to explain...can't just seem to understand why the touch and love making means alot to us.

I feel like "shouting out" from the top of my lungs...It is NOT JUST ABOUT SEX!!!

But guess what's the reply?

"It is just about sex....."

ARGH!!!!!!

Did you get the same response too? lol

[madetolove]

Edit: *Anyway, I think I will or had given up trying to explain...they just can't seem to understand why the touch and love making means alot to us.

[mymirrose]

I try to view all as "God given" in my life, and maybe this is one of those "in bad times" that we just need to keep working on and God, in His infinate wisdom, will reveal later, what we need to do. I know it was He who led me to this site and to ya'll, who let me get it all out on paper (kind of), give me advice, and let me see I am not alone in this and we will get thru it and come out stronger, no matter what comes.
Do I sound like I have multiple personalities? Yesterdays replies were from a totally different perspective than todays, Honest, I only have 1 personality. lol

[mymirrose]

Yes, same response. It is disheartening to go for a hug, kiss and cuddle and get the "sigh", the "look" and then the "Is that all you ever think about?" Well, maybe not when I am doing paperwork, (well, sometimes then too, lol) but I may really just want the hug, kiss and cuddle at that time. So last night, I started saying what I am feeling at the time, "I just need to be close to you for a little while". Did other thoughts cross my mind, YES!!!! But I tamped them down and tried to just enjoy the closeness. Am I still unsatisfied? Yes, but, I am going to keep trying, cause what else can we do?

[madetolove]

.......I have had the same thoughts about putting my desire on the back burner, hoping he would miss it, it only made me resentful and him wonder where else I may be getting it. It is a two-edged sword! So, they do miss it when we don't do anything, because I think, it is comforting to them to know we do love and desire them, but getting them to reciprocate is the problem we need to figure out. I keep coming back to what my Nanny told me "This too shall pass", not very comforting in the moment, but it does give me hope for the future. I am not ANY help today am I?

You know mymirrose, I think it helps (for me) to be able to chat with you, seeing the posts in this thread, and have most out here who feels the same way too.

Well...I agree what you had shared of "...I have had the same thoughts about putting my desire on the back burner, hoping he would miss it, it only made me resentful and him wonder where else I may be getting it. ?"

It truly did make me more resentful towards my wife...as truly during last weekend, I talked to her in a different manner (as I'm controlling myself + given up), but deep down I wouldn't want this to happen. I just feel like having questions in my heart. "why doesn't she understand and know how spending time or being close physically together/bonding session means a lot to me?"

I don't know, it seems strange...when I talk to her the nice manner I had been, I would just want to hug her, kiss her, and go........ (you know what I mean? Ah........ )

And truly the, "...wonder where else I may be getting it." is what they might be thinking. Sometimes I think my wife did think this way too, and it is kinda wierd?

As if we have no desire for them or hold back, they say/feel/thought we are getting it from else? And if we show our interest, they say/feel/thought we are desperate or just want SEX!. Are you experiencing the same too?

Life seems to be a joke.



To be honest, If I am to give much thoughts about it again, there are hurts deep down in my heart. But now, I try to occupy myself with my new project and try to "take care" of it myself. And also, I kinda of convince myself and accept the way things are and that perhaps in this life we could not share that part together (until if things change in the future).

*Sigh* thinking about it hurts again.

I don't know how long it can last for me to "escape" , but trying to "take care of it myself and trying to accept the facts that we may not be able to share this part in this life indeed does hurt...but keep thinking about it and trying to "convince" her hurts even more!

But I would say...We shall Never give up our God Given Precious Desire!

[madetolove]

I try to view all as "God given" in my life, and maybe this is one of those "in bad times" that we just need to keep working on and God, in His infinate wisdom, will reveal later, what we need to do. I know it was He who led me to this site and to ya'll, who let me get it all out on paper (kind of), give me advice, and let me see I am not alone in this and we will get thru it and come out stronger, no matter what comes.
Do I sound like I have multiple personalities? Yesterdays replies were from a totally different perspective than todays, Honest, I only have 1 personality. lol

nah...you are doing great and fine. I have 1 personality too. But just perhaps we are more flexible in things and willing/open to ideas.

Anyway, it nice to see that you are smiling though.

Well..I felt glad for some moment reading the posts. I think it is good than keep drowning down on it. There's no point to keep pondering about it when the other party think we are wierd or desperate.

I guess it's nice we all who have the same sentiments together and share and be strengthen.

[madetolove]

Yes, same response. It is disheartening to go for a hug, kiss and cuddle and get the "sigh", the "look" and then the "Is that all you ever think about?" Well, maybe not when I am doing paperwork, (well, sometimes then too, lol) but I may really just want the hug, kiss and cuddle at that time. So last night, I started saying what I am feeling at the time, "I just need to be close to you for a little while". Did other thoughts cross my mind, YES!!!! But I tamped them down and tried to just enjoy the closeness. Am I still unsatisfied? Yes, but, I am going to keep trying, cause what else can we do?

Same things happen to me too!

Argh...it's making me fumed up..the kinda of feeling...you know...well...you just have no idea how to explain or have them know...argh...not the Sex only but the Bonding. Argh....

[madetolove]

To Add on:

And if we did show we want to go further.....we might ruined even the hugs.

Honestly, I miss a lot to enjoy with my wife.. the french kissing...the 69 ... the open naked warm hugs...argh!

Although it is called sex...but it is the Bonding...but in their eyes it may be just Sex alone.

[mymirrose]

I need to learn to "quote", but anyways, madetolove, you said earlier about having ideas that could help one another, but it would have to get personal and how suggestions can get misconstrued, I will take any suggestions you have

[madetolove]

I need to learn to "quote", but anyways, madetolove, you said earlier about having ideas that could help one another, but it would have to get personal and how suggestions can get misconstrued, I will take any suggestions you have

As for this, I guess we may get personal contact of each other as it may not be appropriate to disucss here.

And if we are really going to work on this issue, I would need to write down/organize notes and thoughts of how or why some things are happening and what turns a guy on...etc, and you may share what might turn a lady on and so forth.

If we are really going to work on it, I guess I need to do some homework first.

If we really did resolve this issue...we could then proceed with our e-book.