[amy40]

no woman directly answered the question asked in the OP's post but guess it's too personal to answer

[atskitty2]

I think claret covered it

I didn't answer because I don't have a current partner, not that it's too personal. Seems like there are old posts here that could be searched...adub, did you try that?

[Ashlee T.]

My partner does.

What determines it? Well, lots of things. My mental state. I need to feel happy and relaxed. My physical state. If I'm cramping or feeling ovulation pain, it's difficult to achieve orgasm. As far as what he does, really it's just a matter of him being able to last long enough. If he has to stop and start every 5 seconds, I can't ever quite get there before he stops again. That's more of an issue when we are having sex less frequently though.

[Stillness]

Lets look at the physiology of things, the vagina itself has no real sensitive nerve endings in it. The outer vulva area does, as does the clitoris so unless the penis is putting pressure on areas that have the nerves what would we (females) feel? We'd feel pressure, thrusting, depth if it hits the cervix but little else.

When people make these kinds of comments it's always puzzling to me. It makes it seem as if a penis in their vagina is not that great for women in terms of the physical sensation. I've only had two long-term sexual relationships, so I'm no expert. But with those two women, the feeling seemed very much like what I experience in every single way - and that's pretty good. I recognize that stimulation during foreplay can be more intense, but it's no different for the penis.

Whatever your experience - it is what it is. I'm not correcting or belittling anyone for expressing what they feel. It just doesn't make sense to me - not in terms of female physiology or from what the women I've been with express. My wife rushes past foreplay because she's so eager to get my penis inside of her. That portion of our encounters is more pleasurable for her than it is for me, relatively. It's a huge let down for her if we never get there, whereas for me, I'm fine if it never does.

At the same time, she's claimed that her pleasure has more to do with her mental state. This may sound patronizing, but I just don't believe it. I think it has more to do with women taking longer than men to reach climax on average.

[Texasred]

There may be a clue in the original question; so i would ask - Is it your partner's job to bring you to orgasm? Or is it at least partly your own responsibility to get there?

[atskitty2]

Still, I think your wife sort of provided the answer in that last comment, if I understood you correctly.
The sensation of a man inside is euphoric and highly pleasurable in the sense of intimacy and just some mental and emotional level. Physically it feels great, but for me, it isn't the stuff of big O's and high pitched wailing. Lol it's way more intense even than that.

I'd rather have that than an O, usually. I'll do both, but if I had to choose, 80% of the time I'd go for piv over anything, because the intimacy is what I crave.

I'm not surprised it doesn't make sense to a man. I think our sexuality is just so different in experience, one from another.

Texasred, I think it's best when both parties are interested in the others pleasure, and see to it that there's satisfaction. I have experienced a lover who cared nothing for my preference or enjoyment, and when he was done, that was that. Selfish lovers who are unwilling to give and don't care about my experience, aren't likely to be around for long.
So, no it isn't his responsibility. But if he wants to be with me intimately, consideration and care are expected.
Just as I wouldn't ride him until I got off, then run to the shower...I'd make sure he got his too.

[amy40]

I do want the passionate kisses
somebody I can kiss

[Stillness]

Still, I think your wife sort of provided the answer in that last comment, if I understood you correctly.

The sensation of a man inside is euphoric and highly pleasurable in the sense of intimacy and just some mental and emotional level. Physically it feels great, but for me, it isn't the stuff of big O's and high pitched wailing.

I was vague, so you didn't understand. She has more orgasms now and attributed that to her mind. I don't find that explanation compelling.

When I asked her about why she favors my penis she described it in physical terms. Penis > fingers, leg, mouth, or anything else she can get off on. It had nothing to do with the mind or emotions. Why should it? Man and woman are made to fit together at the genitals. That's why it's puzzling when people make comments like Claret did.

Of course the mind comes into play, but from a physical perspective there are all sorts of nerves running into the vulva.Theres not as much happening inside, but there's not as much happening with the shaft of the penis as with the glans either.

Edit: I do think we have a natural drive to have sex beyond physical pleasure, so that would be mental. My point is that men and women aren't that different in terms of genital sexual pleasure - at least from my understanding.

[atskitty2]

I think it's interesting that the O seems to have become more important, or stayed equally as important, as women have gotten older. I feel it's less so. I still want that but less and less.

Maybe when I'm in a relationship involving regular sex it will be different, but for now, that's where I am.

[a_dub]

I do want the passionate kisses
somebody I can kiss

Reminds me of the Coldplay song "Something just like this"