[CHANDLERS WISH]

Firstly, i deleted that site address, because we have various young ladies come on here and it may not be appropriate.. You did not know, so don't be offended.

Secondly, WT i actually learnt here, i am 45 so everyone can learn things at any stage of life (What The?)...

It does seem like Di was helping or thought that she was and is open minded, obviously it had to cease, due to her daughter... Protection of a Mother.

Please understand, do not communicate with the daughter, even though she is 17, i feel that you owe that to your "friend" Di, whom was there for you..

She may have wanted to know why you stopped, assume you told her , and curiousity may send her in the wrong direction of sexuality but more importantly, she will remind you of your first girlfriend's friends. She is getting you to talk and eventually maybe or is getting you to do things.

Don't go backwards, only go forwards.

Keep talking to your therapist and here... That 20% will fade, especially if they are able to diagnose medication, you may actually meet a lady like Di whom likes you being you and you may accept that you ONLY like being that way with her and only her...

You never know with life.

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Just wanted to say, i am scared of upsetting or offending people on here, but i know this will sound wierd as i dont know any of you (i dont think) but i like to be honest with you all, but last thing i want is to upset women or guys on here, im not here for that and i 100% know im not here to ask you to watch me on cam etc, that i do not want, its just nice to post here but i worrie incase im a little to honest but cant see why i should lie, im 100% honest with both dr's but why tell them 50% of the problem, i need help i admit that and yes i feel like im some pervert which hurts but i feel i need to be 100% honest especialy with the shrinks.

Carl this is a question to bring up to the therapist.... The address i deleted, are you on that site under this name?

If so discuss this also please.

So yes be 100% honest, to your therapist in this regard if that be the case.

CW

[Guest]

Im sorry about posting that addy CW i didnt know the rule.

As for Nicole it does get very sexual with her and she does get me to do things, and think about things when im doing it, it is a major buzz and sometimes if she isnt online but comes on i get an erection very quicly and its always carl the 20% side, and like her asking the things she does, but saying that di was the same also, but with di it was always the RL exposing to her and masturbating that i loved the most but i did have sexual feelings for her were i wanted sex with her and thats all i thought about.

cheers
carl

[Guest]

Sorry forgot to say...

I cant really move forward (well doesnt seem like it) at min, as i still get horny as , and have the need to tell people, or go in public and masturbate, live with my mom and get a buzz out of her catching me (but when i do that i dont think of her as my mom just some woman) and thats another reason i have pure hate for myself but saying that i cant stop, and im seeing this new doctor again on the 9th and in between im getting very horny and the things i hate but i cant stop when its that (horny carl) i dont care what im doing untill its over then i cry even punch between my legs bcuz of what ive done, you know i cant go into words how i feel about myself after ive masturbated and exposed myself, when i went to see her the first time she asked about di alot, and i told her about hitting my balls after ive done the things, but goto go again but its in the mean time im scared of what might happen i might expose to a young girl/boy but i might not, but its that "might" i dont like.

anyway i will shut up now CW.

cheers anyway

[Guest]

Oh as for that site i mentioned no i dont use the same tag as i do here CW.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

That's okay hence why i explained it...

Understand as well, no one, NO ONE is here to judge you... So if i made a comment, that you understood, that is advice.

You are going to have to mention Nicole in depth... I can see what all along you have mentioned the "14 year old" talking about her in past tense, yet actually she is present tense which you have now divulged. This will show a very very, different light on things for her/him the therapist, as apposed to what happened accidentally when she was 14, in addition what her Mother allowed in the house which caused you to go to the toilet and do what you did. Not shameful at all, you are swayed in my opinion, also from other people's actions, not just your own...

Also ensure you mention that you had sexual feelings towards Di, this is a positive not a negative if you felt that connection... You have felt a connection with the opposite sex, as apposed to just wanting to masturbate with the opposite sex.. and this is highly important for your therapist to know.

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Oh as for that site i mentioned no i dont use the same tag as i do here CW.

Thank you for that...

CW

[Guest]

Thank you for that...

CW

Erm sorry if i offended you CW, but i no long use the site anyway anymore so...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Erm sorry if i offended you CW, but i no long use the site anyway anymore so...

You certainly did not offend me Carl...

I am following the rules, as you didn't know go check out what you can and can not write, or do and then you will be clear.

CW

[bluesapphire315]

Sorry this reply is a little late!

Well Carl, you may not feel proud of yourself right now because of the problem but maybe that will change with time as you see yourself slowly getting better and improving. It takes alot of courage to face a problem like yours and get help. It will take some time to get better, it may take many months or even years. Try not to get discouraged. Remember, small steps is better than no steps at all! Keep going forward!

I'm sure that you do feel terrified when you go to these appointments, why do you feel that way? is it because you are afraid that you are being judged? It is important to be 100% honest with the doctor about what you do and how you feel. Being that way will get you the best possible treatment for you. There are MANY medications out there for all kinds of problems/conditions, etc.. I'm sure there is something out there that could help you, the hard part can be finding the right medication that you have the best response to. However, it might not be as difficult once the underlying problem is figured out.

Sometimes when people have to get hospitalized, it doesn't always mean that they are there for a long time. Sometimes its a day or two just to observe what goes on, your feelings, etc. which also would help in the treatment process but its not always used.

Keep us updated with how you are doing!!