[CHANDLERS WISH]

Carl, stop apologising, we know your NOT here for attention (smile) it's okay.

Seems that she has got a lot more information out of you than even you realise and what you also have to realise is that Judith would have given her notes in detail from her discussions with you.

It does seem that any experiences you have had with a mental connection, is a memory that you hold on to, the kids at school, and Di..

Sounds to me you have a fear of strangers there.

Let her do her job, because your not a physcologist, your just not sure how they work, and what happens from here.

But, they do a LOT of thinking and planning...

It will be fine.

[Guest]

I dont know chandler, do feel disapointed with the out come, as she hasnt really done anythink we just talked, but thought she might of sudjested medication etc to cut my sex drive but nothin all she said is she will contract judith and i will continue therapy with her, neevr said about medications or anythink, so kinda think what was the point.....

[Guest]

Ok i just pm'd chandlers wish as i wanted her input on what happend with my last visit to my shrink, she asked me alot of questions at the time but i couldnt answer them but have since thought about them and now i can, but i wont be seeing her now she will get in touch with my main shrink and continue therapy, anyway heres what i asked chandlers opinion on.
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Hi chandler

Sorry for pming you, but wanted your opinion, would you phone or make another appointment with my doctor and tell her about the following.

She asked about rape, and said would i rape a young girl or a woman, and like i told her i couldnt hurt a soul like that, but saying that i do think about rape in fantasy alot but its mostly me being raped by a guy were he will force me to jerk him off, suck him off, and butt me the same way that happend at scgool with the two girls and boy who raped me at school, but sometimes i think about women raping me also or the woman is in charge and she tells a guy what to do to me, or she uses an item to butt me.

She also asked why i expose myself and masturbate in public and what do i want out of it, and at the time i said i didnt know why although she said there is a reason, but since thinking about it, but its the women or guy seeing my , seeing that its hard and that im horny, and then them knowing i masturbate as they can see me doing it, plus the idea of them seeing me cum, but also while im doing it in away im hoping they will watch untill i make myself cum, or even they will over to masturbate me and they will make me cum, or even the women might want sex as she becomes horny watching, or the guy might want to me to do things to him and then him me.

Also would you tell the doctor i think about sex 24/7 with both women and men all the time, to the point im desperate to do it, although i dont know much about sex and how to do it.

Also should i tell her about fantasys i have and fetishes were i like wearing girls socks and tightsm and that i used to dress as a schoolgirl and used to goto mens public toilets.

And i goto the mens public toilets now as they have peep holes were u can see into next cubicle and see another guy playing with himself, but mainly them seeing me mastyrbating hoping they will want to do things were i do things to them masturbate them, suck them off, and then them butt me, and hoping they do i go alot sometimes every day.

She also asked what happens at home when i masturbate, i told her i like my mom seeing me hard, masturbating and shes also seen me cum, but i didnt tell her that sometimes im not horny but if i hear her come upstairs i drop my trousers and start masturbating so she will see me, plus so she knows ive masturbated i leave my cum so she sees and knows ive masturbated, plus leave tussyes that ive cum in for her to clean up and get my cum on her, i also have masturbated in her bedroom and cum, and that i use her underwear when i masturbate, although when i do these things i dont class her as my mom but just some woman seeing me etc.

Also should i tell her that i have sex toys ie a fleshlight and butt plugs.

When im with judith (main shrink) i get horny alot when im with her and even look at her sexualy, would you tell the louise the doctor at the hospital this or not.

Sorry if the above shocked you chanlder, but want your help as i dont see louise now, she said she will get in tocuh with judith now and work from there, but she said nothing about medications to kill my sex drive, or she didnt mention castration, all she mentioned was therapy in away i thought she would have recommend medication, so i am lost and i do feel it was a waste of time, but i dunno, the abive is all true and there might be other things that are fantasy but should i tell her those as its just fantasy or do u think she needs to know, im sorry if the above offends you as thats not what im here for and if u think i should stop posting here or even pmin you please just say and i will. i hope to here your thoughts and tell me what you would do, but for now bye.

thanks
carl

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thanks Carl.

Now in answer to your questions.

My opinion is only an opinion.

I feel that you have a lot of fantasies going on there, desires and none of which pertain to rape, or exposing to a young girl even boy.

All, in my opinion pertaining to wanting to try different forms of sex, with male and female, both or singlarily.

I am going to suggest, what do you have to lose by joining a club somewhere that caters for that type of activity, where you can watch, be joined in with and join in.

Perhaps, it's the lust and desire of this seeing as it happened to you as a teenager and seeing as you seem to fantasise about it, that you may like to feel that form of sexual activity.

You also pointed out peep holes, mens toilets, a few times a day, watching.. All the same thing.

Fantasising of a man watching you, but you also mentioned perhaps the want of a man being with you as well.

You mentioned that this also happened as a teenager, today but i don't recall you saying that before.

Your Mother, more than likely would be crying in her sleep, you are her Son, she loves you.

So i am going to say, that you have enough activity without having to add this into it, and if you perhaps try what is suggested, as there is nothing wrong with that, even if you watch and they do but you don't yet, then you may not need to.

Tell Judith, sure...

That's my thoughts and remember, we are not physologists, rather people providing opinions.

CW

[Guest]

I have mentioned being caught masterbating in front of Di's daugher, Nicole before and how that upset me.

What i didn't say is that she actually liked it, encouraged me, put her foot on my um... and asked me to cum.

She continues to email me, and ask me to cum, i want to as she's asking but is this a repeat from my teenage years, where not just the girls i mentioned and i didn't mention that they kicked me there and a guy asked for stuff, but is this a repeat?

Am i just remembering that, and like that after all?

I have worked out thatwhilst i am scared, i am also open to all sorts of control from both men and women and i am starting to wonder that in fact, am i just bi curious? Am I also wanting fetish style things? Because whilst scared and i run, these are the things on my mind and the things i am doing, ie) watching a man in a cubical, him watching me and then him doing me then i run and get scared but all the time, i'd love a woman to watch me, perhaps that is my problem, i am into something someone pointed out that maybe i like not so much the petaphile thing.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Carl,

It's normal if you are a Virgin to be "scared" just as much as a person whom has not ventured out as much as he/she should be scared of getting into a new relationship.

It's also weekend, and i know from Moderating that not much happens where response is concerned.

You can work out for yourself, Nicole is like those girls at school "getting themselves pleasure from seeing you do "what they say", doesn't mean that you should indulge in fact, if you don't your a better man, seeing as you can get the same satisfaction from the toilets hey.

As i gave my opinion, if you have worked out that you can "get satisfaction" from male/female with fetish thoughts, then nothing wrong with that, lots do it, and find somewhere you can do it, chat lines, but again, be careful that you don't divuldge name, address etc.

[Guest]

Ive goto go see louise today (dr) as ive told her i like schoolgirl uniforms, and that i like wearing girls socks and black tights, and when i was a little younger i used to wear a full girls school uniform as ive always wanted to be a real schoolgirl, but now she wants to see if its just the uniform or if its both seeing young girls and them in uniforms, plis she wants to talk about nicole abit more sexualy, plus on the letter it says i cant masturbate and that i might have to give a sample, why the would i have to do this, does say they will do tests to see if young girls turn me on after admittinh what happend with nicole and now admitting the schoolgirls uniform thing, im terrified now and not sure if i should go or not today, what the should i do.

A vert scared

Carl

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ive goto go see louise today (dr) as Ive told her i like schoolgirl uniforms, and that i like wearing girls socks and black tights, and when i was a little younger i used to wear a full girls school uniform as Ive always wanted to be a real schoolgirl, but now she wants to see if its just the uniform or if its both seeing young girls and them in uniforms, plus she wants to talk about nicole abit more sexually, plus on the letter it says i cant masturbate and that i might have to give a sample, why the would i have to do this, does say they will do tests to see if young girls turn me on after admitting what happened with nicole and now admitting the schoolgirls uniform thing, I'm terrified now and not sure if i should go or not today, what the should i do.

A very scared

Carl

Hi Carl.

Nice to hear from you again.

Well, if i remember, it was "girls" in school uniforms that first invaded your privacy wasn't it?

And, sub-consciously, you may be thinking of the uniforms and wearing them etc, as a result, kind of a therapy to yourself, if i am right, then mention again what they were wearing and what they did and ask the question.

You don't watch Porn sites, with children correct? So, you don't rate as being a serious threat at this stage.

This Nicole, is her Mother's daughter, you need to tell them all that Di did, so that they can see that the daughter is a little she-devil and played on you and tell them that, because frankly you didn't scare her, she wanted more action.

She did what the kids at school did to you simple.

DNA - well yes they may be collecting it but for future.

Remember, your working towards not going down that track, not becoming a pedophile who molests children, you haven't done that and fear that.....

Be strong and think very carefully about the above and if you agree and i am correct tell it how it is.

Your a strong character really just you've got issues and as we've stated mental problems to sort through but your not MENTAL remember, just problems to sort through.

Google the difference of the areas of the subject and see where you think you fit in....

And, relax.... calm down, have a beer !~!! Your over 40 ... lol, did you at least laugh?

cw

[Guest]

Yeah the girls that did what they did were at my school, and ive always found school uniforms a big turn on, to the fact i had a girls uniform of my own, but ever since i was young ive always found school uniforms a turn on, and when i look at them in public i would get hard, but i thought it was just the girls uniform as i would imagine the uniform on a woman, but when id see the uniform in public on whoever i would become aroused and need to jerk off.

Both judith and louise have said im a paedophile from what happend with nicole, as although i say i hated it after, they said i enjoyed it while it happend with her and she was 14 at the time anyway but i still came twice with her if i wanted it or not.

I hate the word paedophile, scares the out of me, and i only thought there was one type of paedophile or am i wrong !, i have to go today and louise as stated i cannot masturbate as they need a clean sample, and when im there she wants to do tests to see about the school thing and i will have to give a sperm sample, and even i may have to stay over night as these tests are very important, im terrified now even more then the first time i went to see her, and part of me is thinking should i go, i know i want help with exposing myself and jerking off in public etc and dealing iwth what happend at school, but now this im really terrified, and she as said she will need to make sure its my sperm sample i give and not another, what the she on about.

Not sure if i shoud attend to be honest, been sick twice with nerves.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

A 14 year old girl who walks in, sees that, and then comes back for more, puts her foot on you, is as bad as the girls that teezed you and made you do things when you were young...

Okay, again, I'm not a physcologist, so i can't answer whether as a result that got you excited makes you a pedaphile.

I can only say that you need to say to them that Di asked you to masterbate in front of her, she was married. The daughter did the same thing.

Perhaps they are evil ladies getting off themselves and you were just confused?