[starvingforsex]

I am not in any position to answer your question about whether I agree with your doctor's diagnosis. I have my own issues that I have no answers for and can't solve. I have been in treatment myself on and off for many years...that hasn't completely been effective. Most doctors don't give you enough time to properly diagnose and treat you. I have been diagnosed with several conditions, most of which, I completely disagree. My long time therapist has always drilled into my head that, ..." what you believe about yourself is what others believe about you also...." In other words, if you believe yourself to be a sick human being, that's ho everyone ill see you. If you believe yourself to be a person looking to get well and healthy, thats how others will see you. You obviously believe yourself to be sick. If you want others to see a different you...You HAVE TO believe you are not sick and make it happen. We can tell ourselves a lot of things, but it's what we believe to be true that counts.

[Guest]

Well i went for help thinking they (WOMAN) would help me sort my sexual problems out as im still a virgin and now will always be a virgin, but means i was exposing and masturbating in public to family members, friends and stranger wether they be male, female and especially attracted to young girls, Louise went court and they gave her the rights to have me fully castrated to carm me down sexualy aswell stop so i cant have kids, plus laters she had the right to take my sex drive away and to have a small operation on my penis so its now numb to touch, so if i try and masturbate when i stroke there is no sexual pleasure at all, so i cant enjoy myself and masturbate anymore let alone cum, and if thats not enough they are now admitting me to a sex offenders clinic for more tests, but i guess it needed a WOMAN or WOMEN to control my sexually although i still have sexual thoughts.....maybe thats why she wants to get me in the clinic for more medcation........to kill all sexual thoughts i have if thats possible with drugs !!! and i do want people to hate me as im now classed as a sex offender and even a paedophile although ive never had sex with a young girl let alone a boy, i dont know what to think or do anymore and if im honest ive given up, maybe the sex offenders clinic is best for me.......will be forgot and cant hurt anyone although i never have but they all say i have, i dunno .......

carl

[starvingforsex]

You HAVE hurt someone....That 14yo girl. Just because there was no touching or penetration, doesn't mean that you didn't hurt anyone. As I said before, my father in law never touched me, but his actions did. That girl, most likely, because she was young and didn't know any better, is suffering from guilt because of YOUR ACTIONS. She probably blames herself. You caused so much damage to her...you'll never know the full ramifications of what you did. As long as to believe you are a pervert you always will be. Start being responsible for your actions!!!!! Stop relying on drugs or operations to fix you....you have to FIX YOU.

[Guest]

So you think im a pervert ! do u also think i am a sex offender and paedophile like LOUISE, JUDITH, DR AND COURT say i am although not done a think ?

[starvingforsex]

You have done something...you keep saying you haven't done a thing!!!!! Your actions affect everyone around you. Your mother has to be suffering horribly. Your actions toward her are extremely hurtful!!!! Just because you haven't touched her is .You still hurt her and anyone else you exhibited in front of. I think you get off on posting this stuff so everyone will put you down or just give you attention. It feeds your self loathing, so you can continue your behavior.

[Guest]

Well to be honest no one will hate me as much as i hate myself and that will never change, and last thing im here for is to get attention. i first posted here.....well i dont know to be honest to bet peoples views and thoughts what im going through and many did give great advice although i didnt want it to happen ie castration but if i cant stop myself from this then louise etc need to do whatever it takes.

Sorry im suck a pain to you all

carl

[Hopeless Dork]

I've read this thread over the course of a couple days and I have been impressed with the compassion of chandler , mazz and damd but at the same time have been cringing and I'll tell you why. Carl seems be consistantly downplaying his role in all of this. I have read about his difficult past, and if he is speaking the truth I do feel very sorry for everything he had to endure. But do any of you believe for one moment that castration is taken lightly by medical professionals and the law? Even chemical castration which is reversible is not something they pass around without careful consideration. To actually remove his testicles, there would have to be a very very serious concerns for society's saftety.

Sex offenders that have actually hurt people get out of jail all the time and aren't forced to have these medical procedures so I have to wonder if we are getting a clear picture of what caused them to take these drastic measures or not.

Given how much he downplayed his role in the nicole situation, which I was absolutely SHOCKED to see some people respond blaming the girl (she was a child, below the age of consent- even if she complied , instigated , etc and of course we are only going off what he is saying and I've seen enough episodes of oprah and afterschool specials to know that many offenders have this 'she wanted it' dellusion even when its far from the case) to see others feed into this made me cringe.

Carl is a human being and deserves compassion and my hats off to those of you able to provide it without bias, but at the same time he doesn't and shouldnt deserve to have these behaviors (especially the ones involving minors) condoned in any way. He says time and time again how he didn't do anything didn't hurt anyone and agreeing with that and patting him on the back ..I don't see how that will help him at all. Nor do I see belittling him help at all either.

I can't help but smell a little bit of troll or someone roleplaying out a fantasy of some sort. The gymnast and butterfly situation was swept under as him needing to be mean to himself - but it could also be seen another more sinister way. It could also be seen as a blatent attempt to watch people jump to his defense.

Who knows and it doesn't even matter - the things he is saying whether real or imagined are coming from the mind of a trully disturbed individual who needs help. It's nice to see you all being able to provide a support system for him - I just hope that you remember that no matter what he has had to endure (and sadly many of us have had the unfortunate incident of experiencing abuse) that he needs to take responsibility for the actions HE takes, the ones that lead him to be surgically castrated and any future decisions he makes regarding other peoples mental and physical well-being.

Just my 2 cents, and if you are reading this carl , I was not being mean.. and don't 'hate' you and wish for you nothing but the emotional healing it will take to be a healthy and happy, safe and productive member of society. You needn't beat yourself, nor you needn't feel sorry for yourself.

[starvingforsex]

Hopeless dork...great response!!! That was very carefully thought out and presented.

[Guest]

I really dont want to be put into a sex offenders clinic, its not as if i can get an erection let alone masturbate infront of anyone, but louise still thinks although i now have a none working penis i can still do sexual things i tell her i wont but she says she needs to think of others as its her job and i HAVE to go into care.

I do sort of admit it needed women to take control of what i was doing but there is alot of hate towards girls/women but i sort of understand, but i never ever thought when i went to seek help after nicole caught me as i didnt want that to happen, i though i needd help but help i thought would be mentally not physically but they said i was to much of a risk plus i had a very high sex drive and that needed carming down (castration), although i told louise etc i think of sex 24/7 which i did and if imhonest i think the same now what is it like etc etc, but i once tried a hooker but was to nervous and scared esp after what happend at school and with the first so called "gf" but the hooker was a stranger and i only think about sex with the girls/women i know ie Di, Nicole etc etc

I will say im def no fake, first time i posted here i didnt really know what i was after being a WOMANS forums i wanted to get there feed back as i was offending mostly to females, although was some males aswell esp in the mens public toilets, and again i had some good advice and many woman did say get castrated and i did although i didnt quiet say i didnt have a choice, so i am very gratefull to the people that replied, but the times i screwed up here u know the steelbutterfly, girl gymanst i got cofused why people were being so nice and i didnt think i deserved that i wanted people to hate me especially the women even girls here means i as i say was offending mostly with them, do couldnt understand why they were being so understanding and not being angry or nasty, one person here called me a pervert that person not being here since start but i do agree with what she says although that does hurt to say, as reason i went for help was so i didnt get the title a pervert but worse as happend LOUISE as said im a sex offender although i havnt raped or dont anythink, its still serious exposing myself and masturbating untill i ejaculate infront of none willing girils/women/men, but i dunno what im trying to say, so i think its best i no longer post here as from the 5th of jan i wont be able to anyway, and if im honest if i could run away i would but how can u when u have a tag thing on ur ankle, i dont think i deserve what louise, judith, dr's, courts have done to me, but i guess means louise deals with sex offenders and sexual problems she knows whats best although i feel like one of those monkeys in a lab were they can do whatever they like and i no dont have a say so due to the courts.

Anyway to those that gave advice and tried to help, im very gratfull and im sorry i let you down and not sure what else to say other then sorry.

carl

[Hopeless Dork]

Hi carl. Again we seem to be getting a skewed version of your situation. You are minimalizing what you have done. You mention courts, ankle monitors, forced surgical castration and possible institutionalization - yet say you have not hurt anyone.

It sounds like we are missing some information here, carl. Repeating that you have done nothing, will not help you to get better. What you did with nicole was a crime. Its not "nothing". You were the grown up carl, it was your job to walk away from the situation (assuming you are telling the truth about her instigating - that doesnt matter). You had no ability to walk away from it, you admit that , you admit to having no control. And just because you didnt technically 'rape' her or anyone does not lesson the fact that you are a sex offender.

When you were talking to yourself as 'gymnyst' you were accusing yourself of looking at kids. When you were talking to yourself as 'gymnyst' you accused yourself of being capable of rape, going so far as to say that you know you'll do it. Even though you were speaking as another person - it doesnt take a psych degree to see that those were pretty revealing statements in light of you being the one who wrote those conclusions.

Again, I am not saying that you need to hate yourself, I am saying that you need to quit downplaying your actions. You aren't going to change if you think you did nothing in need of change.

Oh and as far as the dummy and all that - there are many fetishists that focus on that type of roleplay/fantasy - grown men interested in being treated and cared for like a baby. To each their own, I guess. I am not trying to condemn you for any fantasies or thoughts. But to thoughts and fantasies that involve potentionally hurting innocent bystanders coupled with your admitted lack of self control is scary combination.

If you trully wish to not hurt anyone, you will comply with your court-ordered therepy, and will quit acting like the victim in all of this. While you WERE a victim in your own childhood (based on the statements you have made) you created a victim in this nicole you speak of and now have to accept that what you have done is wrong. Quit blaming women, Quit blaming anyone. Focus on what carl can do to make carl a better person.

Lots of people have had bad things happen to them, you keep returning to what your gf or some kids did to you when you were little. That was a long time ago carl, you are in your 40's. I am not saying 'get over it' , I am saying stop using it as a crutch or an excuse to fuel hatred. Get your medical help, there is a reason the courts are making you do it.

Most of us have seen enough news stories to know that offenders such as yourself get way less jail time than they deserve for acts a lot more intrusive than the one you desribed. Which lends to thinking that you are not divulging the whole story. Regaurdless, what you HAVE been forthcoming with was plenty enough to be titled as a sex offense, if you keep saying 'you haven't done anything bad' it only makes it seem that you'd be likely to do something like that again since you don't think its such a big deal.