[CHANDLERS WISH]

Morning

Hi i was wanted to say and get yet in more trouble with you all, that me and my mommy have been close adn shes always done things for me even before i went to first school, were should would do things like wash, bath, dress, feed, inspect me, wehn i was alittle younger she would do my long hair and alot of other things i liked her to do, i didnt like when i was naughty and she would smack my legs, bum, between my legs that would make me cry, my mommy as done this for many years and its very normal for me, and i get upset when ppl say she shouldnt be doing it, shes my mommy and im her son (gril) why isnt it normal as you say, sorry my head is so confused, she does many things for me and sometimes soothes me when im down, my mommy is saying maybe i need to be numb i would be a good boy for her then and she will be very happy and wont be scared of me anymore, she wants me to ask louise when i see her next week, but i am scared but im always scared like a little baby, i dont know if this even makes sence so i will stop here and shut up.

Carl

Hi Carl.

Yes, she is your mummy and you are her son (girl), but your not a girl sweet, no pink pajamas, dummy's bottles, long hair, school uniform that's what you love i know that, the (girl)... And Mummy has said she can help you be one, but having you numb...

No one is dissing your Mummy, if you are happy fine.

But i asked you this and again i will ask you, remember when you were really angry? Upset? Because you had stitches and then an infection? And, so you couldn't masterbate as it hurt a lot and you couldn't go to the mens loos but probably you did to peak, but point is you were a (boy) then.. One who like to do boys things, not dolls, boys things.

Do you really want to never be hard? EVER?

You can be what Carl wants.....

Mummy can ask that you have it numbed but i told you, you won't be a girl cause she can't bathe you, and do what she did anymore, but that's okay she stopped you said when you were 38.

You think of what Carl wants okay?

I know you think if you tell on Mummy they may take you away and you don't want that.

So, it's really, really hard now to say what you should do...

But, lets see what others think if you should or shouldn't now that they know you love Mummy and love being given dummy and bottle even now at 41 and pink pajamas and if you would be ok away from her, i think that i don't really know any more.....

Take care though, and no one will say anything bad against your Mum only what they think maybe about what you should do but nothing against her okay, as that wouldn't be right, as that is not opinions but feelings....

See what comes back...

Thanks for posting your thoughts again Carl.

[Guest]

I feel really pathetic, and embarrassed when i mention to people what my momy does, you must all be laughing at me behind my back i guess, 42 (cheers for sayin 41 chandler) but my mommy as done what she as since i was young and it feels normal but sometimes i think what you all tell me, i am scared of telling louise about my mommy, incase i get her and myself in trouble and they take me away from her, i dont want that and in fear i cannot tell louise what really goes on, i wish someone would for me but i guess they cant, chandler asked above if i still want to be able to get hard and masturbate, i have to answer yes, i love the pleasure but i dont think iwill get that pleasure anymore means i have no balls, again im at the bottom of the barrel were i belong i guess, and there is no hope for a 42yr old i guess baby, now upset so will stop.


carl

[damd]

I don't think that people are laughing at you, Carl.

I want you to look at what you are saying though, you are confussed to why people think that what your mommy has done to you is wrong. You have insisted that it is normal, yet, you feel that if you tell Louise about it they will take you away from your mommy. Why? Why are you afraid, if what your mommy has done to you is ok? Now, I know that your mommy has taken care of you, she cuddles you she adores you, you are her little baby. We understand that. Everyone should love and adore their mother and a mother to their child. However, some of the things that your mommy has done is not right, even though she is your mother. It has over step the boundries of what a mother and son relationship. This is harmfully affecting you now. This is why we want you to tell Loise, it's because of you. We are worried about you and want to see you better. The only way Loise can make you better is if you help her make you better, and that is to be honest and truthful with her. We only care about helping you, Carl. We don't want to see you hurt or scarred. We only want the best for you.

[Guest]

I don't think that people are laughing at you, Carl.

I want you to look at what you are saying though, you are confussed to why people think that what your mommy has done to you is wrong. You have insisted that it is normal, yet, you feel that if you tell Louise about it they will take you away from your mommy. Why? Why are you afraid, if what your mommy has done to you is ok? Now, I know that your mommy has taken care of you, she cuddles you she adores you, you are her little baby. We understand that. Everyone should love and adore their mother and a mother to their child. However, some of the things that your mommy has done is not right, even though she is your mother. It has over step the boundries of what a mother and son relationship. This is harmfully affecting you now. This is why we want you to tell Loise, it's because of you. We are worried about you and want to see you better. The only way Loise can make you better is if you help her make you better, and that is to be honest and truthful with her. We only care about helping you, Carl. We don't want to see you hurt or scarred. We only want the best for you.

Erm i dont really know why im scared to tell Louise, i know she as talked about taking me into care and that freaks me out, shes mentioned it last two times i have gone to see her, and my mommy as recently i guess made a threat or a promise (Yesterday thursday) that if she finds out i have gotten hard or i have masturbated she will contact Louise and get me made numb plus get her to put me incare, and that upset my and i cried as i dont want to go into care i love my mommy so much, and i enjoy the things she does as you all know, i say its normal as it is to me and ive liked the many things shes done for me, some of you know alittle bit whats shes done, but i only think when ppl here say what my mommy is doing is wrong and in away i really dont get it and i get really confused (guess im thick), but i like having a dummy, and milk bottle and i like her saying im a girl and alot of other things, i know im 42 but ive always been a mommys boy and i feel safe with her, i dont know if Louise knows or my mommy as said what im like as she as seen Louise on her own about me, but louise as said i maybe need to be put into care were they will teach me to dso things for myself instead of my mommy, i really dont know i just know i cant tell louise, in away i wish someone would but i cant do it, i dont want to be taken away, now my mommy as said as ive said above i get hard she will throw me out and put me incare, i wanted help with all the sexual things and it seems to be getting worse with the way my mommy is, louise still wants to go into details about all the sexual fantasies, masturbation, di, nic, schoolgirls, school, why does she still want to talk about the sexual side when i have no balls, i wish i wasnt born everyone wants to hurt me and even my own mommy is being mean, so whats the point wish i didnt even bother.

My life is .

carl

[Guest]

Louise as put my on medication as im always down and sad, and they said i will get very depressed now my balls have been cut off, i cant get anymore depressed, and the meds are rubbish suppose to carm me down erm dont think so they dont work, when you all read my posts you must laugh at me, 42 a mommys boy and dont even know whatever shes doin is wrong (so u all say), i dunno just one of those days were im in the gutter and feeling upset etc etc ect.

how well i will just shut up and not bother anyone anymore.

Thx

carl

[anonymouswhitefemale]

You know, your mum has worked quite a number on you, she is equally if not more responsible for you being the way you are. And to threaten to kick you out if you get hard or masturbate? She's turning her back on the person she created. It is completely out of order.

I know you love your mum, and in her twisted way she loves you, but you really do need to get away from her and learn to live for yourself. TELL your shrink everything, helI, I mean if it's gone as far as having your balls removed, in for an inch in for a mile. You need to follow this through and be completely honest.

Your mother threatening you when you're at your weakest after making you the way you are? That really is not good. You need to live by yourself, for yourself.

Also, masturbation and fantasies in themselves ARE NOT WRONG. Arguably neither is having thoughts that you will never fulfill about younger people. Convincing you that you're a monster if you masturbate? That's simply not true. However, the reason for the castration was to lower your libido, not to remove it from you. You still need the sexual therapy, as you are still I guess a "risk" to others. Others being naive innocent children, that you might flash or whatever.

You will still have sexual desires, and you will still release them, although hopefully at a more level now. Where you do have the desire to be watched, find some people to watch you, just be sure they're all consenting adults.

Look at classified ads on the internet, get a webcam, go to sex rooms, blah blah. I'm sure you'd easily find people that wanted to see you dressed up as a schoolgirl etc., the difference being that they want to.

Chin up, don't let life destroy you or you are a loser, be stronger than the forces that oppose you, and conciously try to improve your life.

[maz33]

You see Carl, we all care about you and want you to be allowed to live a normal happy life, making your own decisions, being in control of your own destiny, not being controlled by anyone else - however much they 'love' you.

We've spoken about this and you know I will gladly speak to Louise if you want me to. This is a chance for you to take control of the situation.

I think it's a great idea for you to live somewhere away from your mommy, with people similar to yourself, where you'll learn to live like the adult you really are. At the moment you're being stifled by your mommy's (at best) misguided, and (at worst) downright abusive actions.

Take control Carl, you can do it and it will all be fine whatever you choose. Nobody will hate you or laugh at you. Your mommy will always love you because that's a mommy's job

Also, as anon rightly said, there are loads of ways in which you can fulfill your sexual desires with consenting adults. You can dress up as a little girl if that's what makes you happy and there are plenty of willing sexual partners out there for you to role play with I'm sure. It's just not particularly healthy for you to be acting this way with your mommy.

You've already been castrated which was considered necessary but don't let your mommy force you to lose your ability to masturbate (which is perfectly healthy) unless you really do want to feel like that little girl.

Think about what you really want for your future. Don't just think about how your life has been up until now.

We all care about you and hope you do the right thing

Take care

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Carl,

Sorry your feeling so down today but there is a lot of things probably going through your mind, and new medication sometimes takes a little while so be patient.

You know that what Anon and Maz said is true, they care and are trying to help...

When Anon said Masterbation is NOT BAD, he's telling the truth and he's a male remember.

But, also Carl YOU CAN NOT BE A LITTLE GIRL by having it numbed just like Mummy told you... That's not true... Ok... You can dress up in your school uniform as Anon said around people and feel like that little girl, but numbing him won't make you a little girl like mummy says so you don't want to do that ok...

That should only be the case if Louise thinks it should and because you still want to do really bad, bad things and can... But, you don't at the moment since this has happened so things are looking good...

I also will tell Louise if you want me to, but i think you should do what Talk Time said, speak to her first and ask her if you were to tell her somethings about Mummy, does she have the power to take you away from Mummy's house or because your 42 she doesn't... See what she says so you are comfortable with talking with her or asking for our help there.

Hope you feel better today.

[Guest]

I really dont want a life anymore, i think i have one yet i dont, u guys say mommy is bad mommy sayd louise is right, i wish i was deas i do ppl want to run my life so let them, u all laugh at me bcuz i have a dummy i dont care do what u want....im

[Guest]

everyone laugh at me here, 42 and i have a dummy, i dont care u dont like me, 1 day i wont be hear for ever and i cant wait for that day