[millicent]

I wouldn't say women always want to be in control Anon. And they are seldom in a true position of power. My belief is mutual respect is a path worth following.
From what you say, "pushing that boundry, and removing that element of control from them" I reckon most women would run a mile from you, and that is what I would advice them to do as well.
Unless you mature and look at what you say and possibly do, your headed for a fall on rocky ground.
But that is only my opinion.

Good luck

Mr Millicent

[anonymouswhitefemale]

All I am saying is that no one person should always be in control. And as women strive to always be in control (even when they want to not be in control, that is their control), something has to balance that out.

But I'm sure all I need is a woman who isn't rubbish to change my mind.

[millicent]

Maybe I misunderstood what you said previously and was a little quick to comment.
But there again Anon... your latest post is somewhat confusing. You end it with: "But I'm sure all I need is a woman who isn't rubbish to change my mind" Is that called passing the blame? I'm sure if you talked to, and also listened with empathy to your partner or future partners you might gain a mutual understanding, and trusting relationship, which who knows, may turn out to be a very exciting, long lasting, and fruitful.
Women, I agree, are pretty saucy beasts, and can take some fathoming out. But I promise you, its worth every moment.

[Fire(m)]

Hi Millicent. I think the reason some women would consider it "disturbing" is because it sends a "mixed signal" to them when a potential partner does something "unpredictable".

I think you'll agree that a man wearing women's underwear is "unpredictable" based on the fact that the vast majority of men wear men's underwear. The "disturbing" comes in when a woman sees you do something unpredictable, and doesn't know how to interpret what it is you are doing.

For example. Are you wearing women's underwear because you find them attractive and that's all, or is it because you feel you are a woman all tied up in the man's body you possess? If you tell a woman what turns you on about doing this "unpredictable" thing, the question will come into her mind: Can I take him at face value on this? Is there more to it that he doesn't feel he can reveal to me at this time? How will this affect my relationship with him down the road....etc.

Remember, relationships aren't all about now. They're about the future as well and security. When someone in a relationship does something unpredictable, that makes the future unpredictable. When their is uncertainty looking forward into a relationship, that can be "disturbing" to people. People oftentimes desire comfort and predictability in relationships and your wearing panties is somewhat of a wild card.

Hope this helps explain why some people find it disturbing.

[SorridLives]

I still do not understand this "women may find it disturbing" stuff. Women may feel threatened that something they deem to be solely their domain might be shared.
There seems to be some mental block when it comes to this subject.
Some men wear make up, often wear ear rings, all kinds of jewelry, and the fashion industry is pushing the male skirt. In times past, society had no problems with the flamboyant male. lol...
For how long have you seen all the japes about men in suits and wearing frilly knickers underneath?
I have on occasion, when the fancy takes me, worn skirts/dresses out to the shop etc. I don't do it for the stares an giggles I get, that's tiresome.
I do not pretend to be a woman, I take on a style of my own.. scary?..lol.. No its not scary in the least. I've sat around the table drinking with a bunch of men and women, and after the initial surprise we just get on with the normal social chit chat.
If women were as enlightened as they like to believe, then surely this is a none issue.
Going back to the "disturbing" reference, I'd be more worried by the S&M guy who after having his way turns into the Boston Strangler!
I think its going to take a lot of doing to get you lovely women to lighten up.
JGx

I get a little stubborn and really do want you to understand.
I can only speak for myself (not all women), but I know that I was very confused when I found out the man in my life (back then) like to wear my underwear. It was not the "usual". I did not enjoy seeing him in the garments (underwear). I lived with it for a while, but never really got use to it or enjoyed it. He only did it at times, earlier in the relationship, then stopped. In the end, it was *not* at all why we split up. He (my Ex from the past) also had a male friend he met in NA (Narcotics Anonymous) that had the same fetish/preference and his wife was fine with it, apparently.
It is hard (for me) to see a man in women's undies and be happy about it. Just my take. I am sure there are some women out there that might be kinky in that way. I even like watching male/male porn. I think it's hot. I just don't personally find undies on men hot. Maybe it is a personal preferences and it might be a rare preference.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ms CW,
Quote: "I like a MAN whom is a MAN and can Control me in the Bedroom but let me be me in all other aspects".

Me, I'm a Tiger when I get going! Grrrrrrr

But seriously, I could read a lot into that short sentence of yours. It would appear you like to be in control really, let the man off the leash at your choosing and attentive to your space when you require. I think that is quite fair and normal, others might say, Its having your cake an eating it.
I'd much prefer a female partner who can articulate her opinions and wishes than not.
Please don't take offense, cos no offense was intended. Its just the way us kinky white English boys jabber jabber.

Well yes, lol, you could read alot into that sentence... Actually, I was just purely trying to again point out, each Woman is different as to what she likes from a MAN...

I certainly 100% believe in equality and trust, no inhibitions and communication... However, I am saying, I like to feel a tad girly, shy, a tad over-whelmed, cornered..purely at the inset, as a preference, off course not all the time.

I am an employer, so I get sick of being "the boss", lol, in the bedroom I am equal, but I purely like a Man who is Manly... out of that, i like total togetherness but independence, not needy, or clingy and visa versa...

Perhaps too I am slightly selfish, but then respectfully, I can and do lead as well.

Some very good points and comments from the posters above however.

CW

[WildChild]

I like the way you put that, a man who is manly. Not macho, that's very unattractive, but it brings to mind a man who is comfortable being male. That I think, is where most women will have a problem with a man who likes to dress in women's undies. Men who aren't confident and comfortable with thier maleness are more like to be controlling, jealous, abusive or whiney and dependant or some combination of those. Those aren't attractive attributes in either gender. That isn't to say our fellow poster is any of those just because he has a fetish but it may set up an expectation.

[WildChild]

Oh, Annony, as long as you think a woman is rubbish, guess what you'll find? People tend to fullfill your expectations even when you don't voice them. Maybe you need to be looking for someone to meet in different places?

[millicent]

Wildchild,
"Men who aren't confident and comfortable with thier maleness are more like to be controlling, jealous, abusive or whiney and dependent or some combination of those".

Wildchild, Aren't you forgetting all those "manly" types in their Red Piccolette sports cars, they too can be a real pain in the .
I'm happy and confident in my manly maleness, strong when I feel the need to be, confident enough to show that I have feelings, and able to show empathy for others.
People in general, seem all to keen to hunt down the negative in situations, if people were to search for a positive we might live in a happier, more understanding communities.
I have a good idea of the "manly man" you speak of, but I guess they are few and far between. Most "manly men" I have known come with many a kink and a dent too, you just have to scratch the surface.
The sooner women get out of the missionary mindset the sooner they may find happiness.

Thats my tuppennies worth.

[when do I get layed]

[CHANDLERS WISH]

[when do I get layed]

I love the Internet....They are WORDS.....

Be interesting to meet a lot of people from this World and see reality......

Wildchild you don't have to answer that last statement if you don't want to....

CW