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I stopped at the supermarket today. I bought some fresh strawberries, rasberries, and some fresh cut up fruit. I think it has pineapple and mellons in it. Then there is the whip cream and chocolate sauce. Not sure exactly how I'll eat this but I figure I'll play with it as I go. It would all taste so much sweeter if i was playing with a guy here also but oh well. Especially the chocolate sauce.
Oh yes, and don't forget the red wine. Have that also. Pinot Noir.
An Officer and a Gentleman came in the mail today. So that is what I'm watching tonight.
I think I'm coming down with a cold. I'm starting to stuff up a little. I had better not be.
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Well, at least I know I'm heading in the right direction, even though I'm only at the very beginning. I had tried to touch myself after the few times with my fwb partner. This was before the ex. But no matter how many times I tried touching myself, I couldn't get that feeling that agitated me. This was the agitated feeling I felt when he would touch me down below. So there was no way to even try to overcome it, if I couldn't feel it. Well, one time with the vibrator, yep I'm feeling it. Now, I have to get use to it and hopefully let it lead to pleasure. Give me some time and hopefully I'll get there.
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I need a break. I just found out what not to do.
I'm lying on the bed. A love scene came on and I"m watching it. Something triggers a memory. I see Richard Gere's cute face and his short hair, and he has a sexy, cute smile on his face. And then I have that memory I usually have of my ex lying down next to me, staring at me with that same smile, just like he had done before. The whipcream with rasberry is not working so I decide to try something else. I rewind the DVD and play the scene again. I start to use the viborater right on my sensitive spot. I then close my eyes and start to imagine it is my ex touching me. That feeling is getting me to breath quicker and heavier. And I continue to imagine it is him, with his face in my mind. But then it backfires and i find myself crying.
The memory of him was too much for me.
I guess I need to find another face that I can recall in my mind when I close my eyes. But he is the only one I know clearly. Maybe I need to start to really studing some movie stars faces. I know what they look like but not enough in my mind.Comment
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I think I may need to find a big picture or poster of one of my favorite movie stars. Something I can look at while I play and hopefully even be able to picture him in my mind. But where to find a picture. I guess I need to work on that. I'm trying to decide if it is going to be DiCaprio or McConaughey?
Actually I wonder if I could get a picture of the young Richard Gere. But my guess it would be too hard to find some I'm better off going with one of the two above.Comment
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I have a few questions. The farthest I have ever gotten was the heavy and quick breathing and tonight was probably the most intense it has ever gotten. But what comes next? Does the feeling change into something else or does another feelings adds to it? I would think there is more than just that feeling, when you have an orgasm. And is the experience different on different days or does it pretty much feel the same way every time you lead up to an orgasm and then have one?
Also the lubercant, is that used just to make it easy to get into the vagina or should I be putting that on the area I'm playing with on the outside, when I use a vibrator? I'm feeling a little stinging once in a while on the outside, since I used the vibrator. I'm thinking I just irritated or maybe scratched it.Comment
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