[ThexMrs]

Oh right... One more thing I have decided is that the next time I see him there will be no sexual activity. We'll just talk and that will let me get a feel for how he is. Well, I will try my hardest not to do anything sexual. I just love kissing him but we have to get this sorted out first.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Oh dear!!!

Well, my love I think your making a smart move.

If he won't tell you who he works for, hasn't asked you to join facebook (haha give me his name) I will just say I thought he was cute and report back to you.... oops, no snooping CW.

But, he's not inviting you anywhere and you don't know really anything about him.

Go get em... And, just say " how can I go out with someone I don't know?" ....

CW

[caterpillar79]

Well, my love I think your making a smart move.

say " how can I go out with someone I don't know?" ....

CW

Got 'em good, White Witch, oops, CW! LOL!

You're heading the right direction. By doing so, you'll be able to see what he's really after...uh-hemm!

BTW, is that roommate male or female? I have a co-teacher, and SAM is the name...SHE's a horrible witch!

[ThexMrs]

So... Last night I text him and told him that I had something important to talk to him about and that it would mean a lot if we could talk. He wrote back and asked me what was up. I then told him that I would prefer to talk about it on the phone and he disappeared.

This morning I woke and told him that I would like to see him this morning if we could do that. He ended up with a morning appointment so I didn't get to see him since I'm out of town now. Totally sucks!

Anyways, he called me before he left and on his way to his appointment. He asked me about what it was I wanted to talk to him about so I told him. He said that he thinks that we do know each other. What? Umm... No. I told him that I disagreed and I'd like to take some time to JUST sit and talk. Yes, JUST sit and talk. His response was, "Possibly." That totally ticked me off but I didn't let him know that. I then said, you never talk about your past or family and I would love to really get to know you. His response to that was, "In due time." So I just let it go and he got off of the phone but of course not before letting me know that he really loves me. Pfffffft... Okay Jared.

[Guest]

ok. maybe you might be pushing to get to know him too much. you must also be patient and respect when he wants to share himself with you. if you keep pushing the issue. he's less likely to do it.

i understand that with past experiences of pretty much majority of women. IF the guy really likes you he'll bring you into his world as soon as he can. HOWEVER, not everyone's life is a romantic novel, or has that fairytale storybook ending. you have to take relationships you have on a case by case basis. WC/ or was it CW?...(either way they are good people and give good advice) once told me that its ok to take it easy. and not to focus on "what's wrong" all the time. which is sooo true! i personally took what WC/CW said and focused my attention else where mainly on my bf (since he's been in a lot of stress lately...) and it felt great. i didn't have to say anything he's the one that came to me when he wanted to talk, and spend some time together.

sometimes you just have to let them have their space. and even if you guys live together..which we practically do...its nice to just enjoy each other's company. you don't have to ALWAYS be saying something or talking about something. sitting and watching tv is good quality time too.



WC and CW sorry if i offended you ladies by being confused. you guys give very similar advice!

[ThexMrs]

This was the first time that I ever brought this up to him. He said he understood but that just irritated me because if he understand then he'll make an effort. You're right though, if he wants me to know and he wants me to be a part of his life, a REAL part then he will. Right now, I think it's just his work getting in the way. I don't know... I just want more!

[Guest]

Ok. What do you mean you want more?

Sometimes if he's too stressed out..he doesn't really want a "lover" he wants a "best friend" ya know. If he's having a hard time at work..take it easy. I've had plenty of talks with my BF about him showing attention and stuff (according to my previous posts..). And he broke it down to me like this...

When he or a guy is stressed out...they don't necessarily want to be hugged and kissed. They want more of someone that they can lean on and talk about their day with. (which is completely understandable..don't know why i didn't think of it.)

And maybe instead of asking him "hey i want to get to know you and you SHOULD share things with me" go about it differently... i usually give my bf a good head massage when he's stressed or just rub his hands (cause he's on the computer all day) and when i'm doing that i usually do some kind of small talk...that's the time he usually stays real quiet and enjoys it or he'll talk. THAT'S the time when you should be like..."hows your day so far" "is there anything i can do for you?" like i said before its better to attract bees with honey than vinegar.

One of these days you should be like "Hi, Jared. You seem really stressed lately, is there anything I can do for you?.... Did you want to come over so I can make you dinner...yada yada..." It will show him that you are thinking about HIS needs too. And will probably make him open up to you... BUT this is important. You can't try to have sex or have sex with him when you're doing these things. IF he initiates then go from there. You want to let him know that you are his 'best friend" and "lover" too.

I know you have hinted that he might not be faithful or something along those lines...well. keep an eye out; and be smart about it.

[ThexMrs]

I want a relationship not a eff buddy. That's what I want. I want someone to talk to, to listen to, to share, create, experience with, etc.

Today I did say that to him. He told me he was frustrated about work and I asked him, "Baby, is there anything I can do to help?" He said, "No but thank you." I am always asking him what I can do for him, how he is, how work was, etc.

As for sex, I don't typically initiate it. And as far as hugging and kissing, he's ALWAYS all over me and not the other way around. When he comes over he gets all over me, we have sex, then after a little bit I rub his back or I caress his neck and head, even arms. I do all of that. There isn't anything that I am not doing. That's why I don't know what to do.

[WildChild]

I've found that it can really help if you tell him, calmly, that you would like/need to talk and then ask when would be good for him. This gives you both time to really think about what you want to say and to have the time to be relaxed and confortatble about it. It takes time to really know someone, it has to kind of unfold. That isn't a fast process.

[ThexMrs]

I don't know if I am going to start my period or what but I feel like no one is listening to me anymore and I'm getting annoyed. Maybe this thread has gone on too long.

I told him that I would like to spend some time just talking with him.
He said, "Possibly."

I feel like that is giving him time. I didn't say now. I didn't say next week. I said sometime.