[BabyGirl]

Well, The Part time Mistress is now no longer a Mistress.

To those whom followed my story and plea's for feedback. I was a “Mistress” of all kinds, but a Sexual one. I was a Best Friend Mistress, an Emotional Mistress, a Visual Mistress, a Text Mistress, a Counselor Mistress, Researcher Mistress and a Passion Mistress.

I had his Love, Respect, Trust, Desire and all that a Woman could want in a Man. Except I didn't have him as a whole man. I had the part of him that he could not share with his wife. Or parts of him that he could share with us both and have “ One Whole Woman” between us.

So to those that are interested still.

We had a plan to go out Friday night (May 28th) just for a couple of hours, Then planned to leave early Saturday and spend the day and possibly night together on the coast. The Wife left Thursday afternoon for a 4 day trip to a friends daughters Graduation in another State.

Thursday Evening after he got home and I to my home from work, He texted that he wasn't sure about Friday night, but Saturday was on for sure. I asked why and he said their Pugs, ( they have 2 pugs) were sad and one was really missing the Mama ( wife). He said he didn't feel right leaving them all day Friday and them coming home and leaving again.

I understood and told him so. I also love and care for pets and understand the Separation Anxiety they can go thru. I also asked if he was missing his wife and he said. “I feed off of the pets feelings”.
So I was cool with that as I had to work Friday also. Come Friday at lunchtime, he said he was going home to feed and spend time with the Pugs, * Note he has a 2 hour lunch * I thought that was awesome. Showed his caring and Love for the Pugs.

2 Hours later I text him about how the pugs were, and he said fine and he took the rest of the day off, so would I like to keep the evening date and end my day with kisses and some
“ Lovin” ?

I agreed and told him I needed a couple hours after work, to relax and clean up and would be ready at 8:30 Pm. If it wasn't too late for him ? No Problem, he picked me up at 8:30, we drove to the waterfront. And watched the Sunset. A few kisses but it was Raining so no Nature plans.

He'd brought a bottle of wine, some cheese and crackers and fruit. I don't drink, but had a small glass with him, in the car. Thinking we would get romantic like we did in the outdoors. I also thought it would loosen us up a bit for the following day. To actually talk and cuddle and talk about the plans for the beach.

It didn't work out that good, We were parked at a public waterfront, and as I said I'm not a drinker ( Severe Reactive hypoglycemic here) That's why he brought cheese & crackers, as he knew this. So after an hour of talking and watching the geese fly across the Bay to nest for the night. I had to Go Pee !! Most Hypo's and Diabetic's know that the urge to go with any Fluid can be Great. Immediate.. Lets Go now ..
But there was no bathroom near, so I asked him to drive across the road into
the Darker area and I could Go. * Note I have gone in the Forrest before on our Nature dates.*

So he drives to the other side of the road , parks near the Embankment. And I get out and walk away to GO..
As soon as I am 50 ft away from the car, ready to “ Squat” He Honks the horn. I of course , stop what I'm trying to do, look at the car and wonder what is wrong ?
Picked up a Rock and walked back to the car . Thinking something was wrong. I asked him , Whats wrong hun ? He was “Get in the car” That Cop just turned around ? Did That car just turn around ?
I'm like I don't know I was getting ready to Pee. So he says Lets go back where we were , If they did turn around, They would wonder why we were on This side of the Road in the darker area.
I get in, we drive across the road , ( maybe 100 feet ) and he parks again. I still have to Pee real bad. So I said “ Hun. I really gotta go, and Now.” So I decide to go down to the rocks to go Pee, try to be casual about it. He asks me to take our wine glasses and Dispose of them. So if the Cops come back, they will not see the Alcohol as he was Driving. So I took the 2 glasses walked away to the rocks, set them down on the rocks, Acted Casual as if just sitting on the rocks and went pee.

Goodness that felt good . So I sat on the rocks for a few minutes, wondering what the “F “I was doing, going pee in a public place, hiding cups that had wine in them ? Meeting with a “ Friend “ that was Married ???? I took almost 10 minutes sitting next to the rock that I peed on/ between/ behind. Had a Smoke . I smoke he doesn't & I rarely will smoke around or near him.

Looked over at the car, and he was just sitting there. So I grabbed my Gusto, and went back to the car and I was cold and freezing, as it was still raining. Looked like a Drowned rat.. He had the heater on and He said “ Did you just Smoke ?” I said “ yep and I peed and I got rid of the glasses”. I thought No Problem, He says “Lets go home, I have to let the Pugs out and it's 11:00 already.”
So we drive home, he drops me off, I ask him to let me know he's home safe. As he had most of the bottle of Wine and was worried about the cops so much.

11:42 text comes , “ Home now Pugs are ok”.
Text back to him, “ Sleep well, see ya in the morning” His txt back is Weather Permitting.

Waited most of Saturday morning for him to text to meet so we can go to the beach. ( morning to us is anything before 9 am ). Waited until 3 pm, texted him again, asked if everything was ok ? He said “ You did something last night that I don't like and I saw another side of you I don't like “ . So “No we aren't on for today”.

Okay.. What is it I did ? Reply was “It's hard to kiss you after you smoke” “ caught the wife smoking and almost divorced her She said she quit smoking that was part of our marriage agreement”
WOW !!!! Did I wake Up...

He knew I smoked, he knew I don't drink Alcohol, he knew my Hypo/ Diabetic Status,

[BabyGirl]

See page 2 of the thread. Thanks CW.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know, I do feel for you, but I said a few things on page 2.. and, I also later said I see "two" things now, not one.

And, this bothers me, having read all you wrote.

I see some not so home truths coming out... No where did you say, he held you when you got in the car, tried to get you warm, that he un-selfishly, took the glasses himself in that pouring rain, whilst allowing you to go to the loo, knowing that you have a weak bladder. That, he spent that 8.30pm - 11pm with you, talking about a future, or talking about the next day.

What I saw, was, a man, dating, taking wine and cheese, when problems occured, he worked around it for himself. When problems occured that could involve him, he worked it around himself and with apparently so much love for you, he acted like a child, emotionally put you down, instead of " I love you but I wish you wouldn't smoke, I want you to live"... He used it as an excuse to get out of the next day.

I said I saw two sides of him, after reading more of what you wrote.

If you didn't want the answer you wouldn't have posted this thread... You are in need of more love and your not sure how to get out there and find it.

And, from page 2 I stick to this statement.

No man, married or not, treats a woman in that way, in my opinion... You sat on that rock for a reason... Maybe, you saw something that you recognised as not being right and then he concluded it in his action and his words, in my opinion.

I think you have made excuses for him, based on what he tells you... I think he has a fear of getting caught and in that, shows his true colours, feelings. He may have a ED problem and hoped you'd cure it, a woman who was not his wife, but it didn't happen.. He may like the thrill, remember he started it with that kiss and then continued it with the constant attendance at your work place...

I think, this man is okay being married to his wife, with his life, with his Pug dogs and I no longer see what I first saw....

And, for that I am sorry. What I saw, was you.. The inner person, who has the love and belief and dreams... But, I no longer see that as two people, only one.

Please, look at what you wrote about last night, the way he acted, re-acted, spoke to you, treated you... and think...

Your worth all that you want out of life, this may have been a distraction you really needed but it's not the ending that you dreamed of, and those seasons may not be over.

CW

[BabyGirl]

I'm sorry I didn't finish my story a couple of days ago. I needed time to recover.

To Continue...
Since he knew all along that I smoked, I felt that was an easy way out for him to end the relationship. I knew he disliked my habit and never smoked around him. I guess seeing me sitting on the rocks smoking a cigarette was “ What I did Wrong” as I basically defied one of his wishes.
Not hearing from him for the Night and next day , after work on Sunday, I emailed him asking if it was over ?

This is what he sent back to me .
“ Baby Girl,

We had some very good times and I will keep those in my memory for some time to come. You've done wrong hun, my heart is broken that it had to come to this. Friday night, gave me a lot to think about and I can't do that again. You are who you are and I don't have the right to ask you to change.

I felt a lot of tension with you and my life and I just can't seem to fulfill your hunger for more passion.

I hope that you will still be a friend to me and allow me to share a smile when I stop in for my automotive needs.

Please know that I can't continue on like this and continue to not feel terrible about my life.

Miss you always,

Bye Baby Girl....... .....

I was Devastated, hurt and yes even angry.
So I replied with a return email below.







I appreciate your response. Though I disagree with some of your statements.

Yes we had some good times and I will also hold them dear to my heart for some time to come. I do not, however feel I am the one who has done wrong. I have been who I am this whole year, not asked you for anything other than what you were willing to give. My habit that you dislike is and has been a part of me this whole time. If it had been something you could not abide to a point that it outweighed the good things, I feel you would never have become involved as deeply as you did. Just like when you caught your wife smoking behind your back and lying to you about it, it was not enough for you to end your marriage with her. So using my smoking as an excuse seems to be a cop-out for your guilt of our year long relationship.

I understand your feeling allot of tension with me in your life. After all it was you who was cheating on your wife. Using me to fill in the emotional needs and the feeling of actually being loved and desired. being accepted for who you are with no demands.

On your not seeming to be able to fulfill my hunger for more passion, I enjoyed our times together even without the fulfillment of our Sexual passions, I had assumed we shared the desires jointly. The past few months it has been you who instigated the meetings and the lunches. It was you that asked if I wanted to meet, you who stopped by my work unplanned and risked me losing my job, for some quick kisses. Yes I also was responsible for allowing it to happen by joining in those stolen kisses. something I should not have done, but my "passion" overcame my sensibilities .

You hope I will still be a friend to you and allow you to share a smile when you stop in for your automotive needs ?
I ask why you would want to stop in my store at all ? I took care of your other needs for a year, which as you say, has caused you tension in your life and you cannot continue on like this and not feel terrible about your life ?
If as you say, you cannot continue this, why would you want to see someone that has caused you to feel this way ?

This has had me confused for some time now. The texts and talks about your wife, not loving you, showing you no love, you feeling like you are working your off and going home to someone who just doesn't appreciate you. making you so frustrated and feeling unloved , that you ended up getting that love from someone else. Ended up feeling loved by another woman, one who made you feel loved and desired and appreciated as the man you are, with no expectations or strings attatched .

So, I believe the tension you felt with me is caused by the battle inside you, the wanting and desiring what you feel you deserve, which was unconditional love and appreciation and desire for you by a woman who loves you.
It is strange that you had to get that from someone you didn't have to put a roof over their head, support them and their needs, from someone who is independent in their own right and didn't have to ask you for money or things. From someone who simply loved being with you, who's heart swelled at the sight of you. From someone who at just the look in your eyes, send her blood racing, the slightest kiss made her tremble in desire, even at almost a year of seeing each other. Those feelings were still there.

You want to end this and I accept that decision. But know that the tension that caused you to seek the love you needed from me, will not go away, just because I go away. You will still have those needs and feelings to be loved. And if you cannot find a way to receive them from your wife, there will be another " baby girl " down the road.

I hope that someday you find that love , That you find the love that you seek and that it is combined in the same woman. But no matter who that woman is, remember she will have faults, just like you and I have. There is no perfect woman or man, but if the good feelings outweigh the bad. Then accepting them with their faults and loving them in spite of their faults is what makes a lasting relationship. Is what makes true love unconditional.

If you do have to use my store for your automotive needs, feel free to. I will do my best to find someone to tend to those needs in the professional manner we expect from our employees. I feel I have fulfilled your other needs, to the best of my ability for this past year. If no one else is available, I will of course try to fulfill the automotive needs as I would any other customers needs. But as I said, I don't understand why you would want to see someone who has caused you so much pain in the first place ? Unless it is to try and hurt me more ?

I do apologize for hurting you, for causing you pain and heartache and tension. If you are broken hearted as you say, I am sorry to have been part of that. I am not sorry for loving you, you deserved love and even if briefly, I hope you learned that you can be loved in that special way. I am saddened that this has gone how it has. But I respect and will honor your decision to close the book on us, to say The End.

We we will not go back, once this is ended it is ended. I could never go thru this again. I wish you happiness, with whomever it is that you end up spending the rest of your life with. Hopefully it will be your wife that is the one, though you will have to take her faults along with her good qualities. If you and the Wife don't work out, know that there is someone out there waiting for you, waiting to give you love and be loved in return.
But it won't be ME !!!

Take Care, “ John”

I sent that yesterday and have not heard back from him and probablly won't. I feel better for writing that and sending it. The pain is raw and it will take a long time to get over this and feel worthy again.

[Hopeless Dork]

I am sorry for all the hurt and confusion you must be feeling at the loss of this relationship. I think he had his mind made up before you ever went and sat on those rocks and had that smoke. He was just waiting for any opportunity to lay the blame on you. He couldn't just man up and say... I don't want this anymore. Instead he says, I don't want this anymore because of something YOU did. It just fits with the selfish nature of the kind of guy that cheats on his wife in the first place. Me. My needs. What do I want today. What don't I want. Who can I blame?

By the way he turned on you and made this all out to be your fault, your smoking.... maybe its possible for you to also see that some of the lack of love he blamed on his wife may have been his own distorted narcassitic view and not based in reality. Making things out to be HER fault why he wasn't happy in the same way he's making it out to be your fault that he can't be with you anymore.

You made a rediculously huge consession. He brought in the biggest flaw one could bring into a relationship... he was already in one, and not leaving it. But you said okay, I will be with you anyway. He couldn't make love to you, you said okay, I will be with you anyway. You have a stressful moment and have a smoke on a rock far away from him... and he says 'ooooh your nature is now revealed to me, I can't be with you'. Ugh. Hypocritical, petty... and utterly selfish.

Even if he did want you to quit smoking... if he cared about you he'd want that for you, offer to help you... and tell you why he wants that for you... instead he just doesn't want you smoking because HE doesn't like it. Again, him, him him.

I think while your heart may ache. You were just released from a situation that didn't seem to have the potential to give you a happy, healthy satisfied life. I hope that you make that situation for yourself, and that someone worthy of you can later add to that happiness.

[BabyGirl]

Thank you Hopeless,

I really do appreciate your advise, support and opinions and those of others. I have read this thread and other Mistress threads and feel for all involved. On both sides of the fence.

I am so very hurt, but day by day I am more hurt by my choices, my actions, my decisions in this whole mess.

And I am Angry, Very Angry, but also , again, more at myself than him. I Love and will always love him, though that love will fade to just an Old Love eventually. My main problem now is being strong, knowing that if things are Not good at home, as he has said this past year, that he will Come to me if things do not work out. Since this is so fresh...I'm not sure I can be that strong in the future.

I remember him telling me last year in a text ,that his wife had " Left " him. She'd gone out with girlfriends and did not come home, did not call, did not text. He was Devastated, felt abandoned. She did go home the next morning and told him she had been too drunk to drive, so just stayed at her Girlfriends.
This was one of the times I told him to get her some help. That night I had even told him , she would not leave a sweet man like him. That she would be back .

Right now, I am being bitter , but I hope that the 4 day trip to her Friends Daughters Graduation, in the other State, was actually her meeting with an Internet lover . That is Mean of me I know, but he had mentioned that one of the last things she said before leaving was " You best be Celibate while I'm Gone ". Why would she say that ???? Unless cheating was on her mind , either of hers or his ???

And now I am dealing with the Anger, the feelings of being thrown away like a finished Cigarette butt. Part of me wants to get back at him . And at the same time let his wife know what had gone on this last year. I am an " Emotional Pack Rat" I have kept over 300 of his texts, photo's, Voice texts that he has sent me.
One's proclaiming his love for me, his adversity with his wife, One Very Naughty of Him " Seal The Deal " Photo he sent. Some pictures of him in the woods or waterfont that can not be explained away as a " Buddy " taking them, as the dates show that he was out doing his Normal " Saturday or Sunday morning Shopping for the house or Garden."

Grrrrrrrrr
But, Dare I ? Should I ? I know I could most likely end his marraige with the Proof I have. And have him come begging for my love. And I could tell him he had his chance, had his cake and could eat it too .. But.. A Big But here, I Love and when you Love, you try not to cause pain .

And to CW, A Huge Thanks...

I always did think of his wife first , but more in the fact that she had propblems that caused him heartache. That She needed to Realize what a Special Man she had in him, She needed to wake up and fight for him, treat him like she loved and appreciated him..

And it may seem very strange, But if he had just said Once, that he needed to work on his marriage, needed to focus on that and try his best to resolve their problems. And that if it didn't work out, would I be waiting for him ? I would have 100% let him do what was needed and not interfered or attempted to hinder his progress with her.

I guess that is why I never asked or expected more than the way we had it. I never wanted or saw me and him living together, or being man and wife. I was just happy making him happy and feeling Loved.
And Now What ?

[BabyGirl]

I meant Part 2 of this Weekend " Planned Love Fest " as he had called it ..
Apologies on The Page #2 .

[caterpillar79]

I'm so sorry BG that it has to come to this point. While you are still hurting, please look at the other side - the brighter side, as HD said, this could be the release that you so need in order to start anew.

That man whom you cherished is not this man you went out with that night. He has two or more masks he puts on all to serve his own needs, his wants, his whims, everything for him.

You're available, you were there when he needed someone. You accommodated him, thinking he is genuine. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he'd turn around and apologize for his demeanor and wants to get back - would you let him?

I hope not. I hope you move on and keep looking on the brighter side, the end of the tunnel. This man is one of those whom you leave and not look back on. You deserve so much more for what you can offer. Please remember deep in your heart that you are precious and no man can ever take that away from you no matter what.

When you are ready, he'll find you. In the mean time, pamper and love yourself more. I do feel for you, I really do. For some reason, I can feel deep down in my stomach the repulsion I have had for such kind of man. Feel free to PM me if want to.

[caterpillar79]

HE - being the right man. One who is ready and capable to give cherish you and hold you dear, one who would "throw his boat on a rock" just to be with you, on you island, forever.

After this similar situation happened to me, BG, I met and dated this next man who is now my loving and faithful husband. I pray that you'd find the one who'd make you happy.

[BabyGirl]

Catapillar, I am reading your words of support and can barely see. I had not cried yet, or hadn't until I posted my last 2 parts of Story.
I am sooo crying now. I don't know how to PM, I just learned to try and put in my profile of where I am in location.