[Ahryin]

Well a Nun actually taught me (Honest Truth!) I started with an easy excercise of picking a two syllable word for instance Fa Ther and when you breath in you say the beginning and breath out saying the ending of that word. Only concentrate on that word and nothing esle. You can picture the word in your mind listen to the word but ONLY that word! Push everything else out. Pick some place quiet concentrate on your breathing and that word. Sit in an upright position comfortably.

thats how I started

[somiserable]

A nun! OMG! I cant think of a word to use though!!! I need to focus really hard now, I've been doing stuff all day to keep myself busy, I no I sound like a real wuss but Its so hard!!!! Ahyrin, future boy, anyone, please help, I need to stay focussed!!

[Ahryin]

Do you listen to hip hop?

[Ahryin]

Ok i asked because when i'm feeling down and i can't get certain things off my mind I excercise, listen to hip hop, box, run, basically I work it out...not just work it out but really WORK out the pain, work out the frustration, work out the anger! I can give you some good songs (because i'm a music LOVER) I have music for every mood..lol

[danceintx]

Yes, there are moments of weakness. But not because of love, but attachment. There is a big difference. Honestly, what was there to love? Once you realize the real reasons you want him back, like low self esteem, being used to him being around, you won't have as many of those moments. It is hard to leave, but it's so much harder to stay. You will have a better life, and for some reason the song "Red High Heels" by Kellie Pickler makes me think of you. Get a song that will be your theme song for the moments you feel weak.

[somiserable]

Anything my friend would be useful right now!!! Let me know the names of some tracks, I'd be extremely grateful, I haven't cracked yet. Nor do I intend to but itll take some strength, its the atmosphere I'm struggling with, he wont leave unless I pay him off and thats going to take a while to sort, its really grinding me down!!!!

[danceintx]

He is still there? You need to pay him, I don't think so. Pay him for what? I would move if he refused to. Get a place that doesn't have his name on it. And I wouldn't pay him a darn thing! He should be paying you for what all he did!!! Please, talk to an attorney. In the meantime, these songs are just off the top of my head, I'll post more as I think of them.

Irreplaceable-Beyonce
Beautiful-Christina Aguilera


Don't let him convince you he wasn't wrong. My ex always tried the mind games. He still tells me about all the screwed up things I did to him to make him so mad. Don't listen to it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your being very brave, wanting to do this on your own, but your no longer alone huh...

You have in-deed made some good friends here.

Glad your going to stick around.

Quit the ironing.

Quit doing the cleaning.

Focus on you and your child. You need instead to go for long walks, to get out of the house, to walk past the shops and say "hi" or "smile" for no reason and get one back.

Catch a movie on your own. Start the "independent" cycle and definately start breaking his chain.

Once an abuser has you, he will pull you down till you think you can't get up, but problem is you are up, your just floating so you have the strength for him not to pull you down and let him win.

Pftttt, to him taking any money off of you..

How close are you to your parents? Your friends? I imagine he's kind of squashed a little of that too, it's time to get re-aquainted as well and close with anyone you were close with that for what ever reason, you've let go of.

That will take your mind off it, but it will also make you realise you can be alone and do this, he doesn't own you sweet...

And, it will give you more courage as you see the world as it really is outside, that home doing ironing and cleaning.

Your distractions need to be new, including what they guys have suggested, music...

New things to you..

CW

[somiserable]

Yeah dance, hes still here, I've been relegated to the spare room, the atmosphere is terrible and I've held my head up till now, he says I've got to get three valuations and whatever the house is worth compared to the valuation, he wants the difference. That will put me in debt by about £200,000 and he knows I cant afford it! Hes trying to send me down financially, I would move tomorrow but my name is on the mortgage solely, so if I stop paying it and leave I will be blacklisted and wont be able to get another for me and my son, it is driving me to distraction!!! He wont leave as its the marital home and he still has rights here so I'm in a no win situation unless I can raise the money. The business is not doing well, funny, he fought me for it once before, now he doesnt want it! So there you are, I have no job, atmosphere terrible, our son is suffering (not that he cares, since the 22nd Dec hes not spoken to me, he has to him but has not fed him, done any of his washing or cleaned after him , hes been in the pub as usual), I hope he lives to regret it, I wish I could win the lottery! Thanks for your support

[somiserable]

Chandler, Honestly I am doing all that, I dont cook, clean, iron or wash for him, I only do our sons and mine. I know he doesnt own me, but you know when an atmosphere is like this, it grinds you down mentally. I wait constantly for " be home in a minute" is he going to come storming into my room and start, I had him arrested after all, hes trying to take me down financially, I am staying as strong as I can....its so hard though, I'm glad I have the support here, I probably would have broken by now