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  • Stillness
    WH Poster of the Month April 2017
    • Feb 2012
    • 3679

    Originally posted by chaya
    One thing, he is sure to be very horny, 2 weeks with no sex, should I sleep with him before I tell him? He might be in a better mood that way.
    chaya, can you put yourself in his position? How would you feel if he had sex with you before he told you that he had been having sex with someone else? I know that if it was me that any improvement in my mood would be that much more sour once I found out that my wife had violated our deal. It's like eating a delicious sandwich and then finding out that the person that made it spit in it.

    If Kiyomi knows him and fears for hers and the baby's safety, then that's making me all the more concerned. If he hurts you or kills you, it won't just be you that suffers. Your baby, your husband, and your families will also suffer. Do they deserve that? Be careful!
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

    Comment

    • rcoreyus
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2007
      • 4369

      Be clear in your mind of your thoughts and of what you want.

      Are you willing to stop sleeping with Kyomi if the alternative is divorce?

      Are you sleeping with Kyomi because of something lacking in your relationship with your husband, or because you are attracted to her. Would you want to keep sleeping with her even if you husband changed his behavior?

      Is Kyomi interested in having sex with you AND your husband? Are you interested in that?

      Are you happy with an open marriage where each of you are free to sleep with anyone you want?

      If your husband tells you that he has been sleeping with someone else as well, are you happy to stay married?

      If he fires kyomi and doesn't let him back in the house, how will you respond?

      What response are you most hoping for?



      You do not **have** to tell him. I think it is a fair question to ask whose life will be made better by telling, and whose will be made worse. (think carefully about this).

      Comment

      • jen1447
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2013
        • 2380

        Now's not the time to ask a bunch more questions or introduce doubt rc ....this is happening in like a matter of minutes by the sound.

        chaya, please keep us updated as frequently as you can. We're all concerned for you hon.

        Comment

        • Patti-here
          Banned
          • Mar 2014
          • 2602

          I agree, leave the girl alone, she didn't ask for a bunch of questions to be bombarded at her,, Yeah Chaya keep us updated, and know we're here for you..

          Comment

          • Euphoric
            Veteran Member
            • Oct 2012
            • 570

            Chaya,

            There is nothing more to add. I think the advice to be prepared to leave quickly is paramount. You say you are prepared to die, but perhaps that is because you feel death is better than living in misery. Definitely do NOT sleep with him first. And as others have said, please update us as soon as possible. I think everyone here is going to fear the worst if you don't not make contact shortly after approaching him, because we care about you!

            Good luck and thinking of you.

            Euphoric

            Comment

            • Fallen1
              Veteran Member
              • Oct 2007
              • 1937

              I don't think Stillness and RC's questions were meant to be answered. I tend to believe they were simply trying to get Chaya to make sure she has thought this out thoroughly and from every angle.

              Good luck Chaya!
              There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

              Comment

              • rcoreyus
                Veteran Member
                • Sep 2007
                • 4369

                That is all I meant. Sometimes even just a few minutes to think things over gives you a chance to think of a response, rather than blurt something out in an extremely stressful situation.

                Originally posted by Fallen1
                I don't think Stillness and RC's questions were meant to be answered. I tend to believe they were simply trying to get Chaya to make sure she has thought this out thoroughly and from every angle.

                Good luck Chaya!

                Comment

                • effy2014
                  Veteran Member
                  • Apr 2014
                  • 1777

                  My thoughts and prayers are with you.
                  "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

                  Comment

                  • jen1447
                    Veteran Member
                    • Oct 2013
                    • 2380

                    Does the staff (or anyone privately) have any RL info on chaya? (Registration e-mail, etc.) We may want to reach out to her at some point if she doesn't post an update here. It hasn't been long yet but I don't like the idea of it getting much longer than not long.

                    Comment

                    • Stillness
                      WH Poster of the Month April 2017
                      • Feb 2012
                      • 3679

                      Originally posted by jen1447
                      Does the staff (or anyone privately) have any RL info on chaya? (Registration e-mail, etc.) We may want to reach out to her at some point if she doesn't post an update here. It hasn't been long yet but I don't like the idea of it getting much longer than not long.
                      I'm sure that Little has her email address.

                      I was hoping that someone in her life, could check up on her...like go by if they don't get a call by a certain time. I wanted to say it earlier, but I don't want to be a nag. I have such a bad feeling about this.
                      "Those sowing seed with tears
                      Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                      Comment

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