[a_dub]

a-dub..

I am C-Dub According to some here...



I kind of bet you still would. What about, when she had a headache or was stressed for a week and didn't want sex

Yes, but if she was willing and available, I'd put my hands away. But yeah, if she was holding out for whatever reason, I'd take care of business myself. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Wouldn't a woman do the same thing?

It is fair to say that attraction is what makes any person's hormones start raging. But, you'd be suprised at where that attraction can come from if you actually took time to get to know some of those women... Their persona, the way they constantly make you laugh, twirl their hair, all of a sudden visualisation comes into play and they appear "different" to what you origionally saw them as...

Is this a process that takes decades? I guess that explains old married couples who are in love. But the few girls I've been with, all average looking to slightly varying degrees, I only dated for a a few weeks. I think the longest relationship was like 2 months long. I usually got bored as , and the girl's could pick up on it and, thankfully, they've been the ones to end it! To this day, I've never had to dump a girl despite never finding one I liked much.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well yes, if I was being denied, off course I would... I agree with that statement... Remember though this thread states " preferance"....

Is this a process that takes decades? I guess that explains old married couples who are in love. But the few girls I've been with, all average looking to slightly varying degrees, I only dated for a a few weeks. I think the longest relationship was like 2 months long. I usually got bored as , and the girl's could pick up on it and, thankfully, they've been the ones to end it! To this day, I've never had to dump a girl despite never finding one I liked much.

giggles... It's changing your thought pattern against "materialistic views" verses - inner self... I think "old" married couples in love are so, because they have been through so much together and have stuck together..

If you are bored, and get dumped.. You are viewing the women on the outside, dating them, finding not much in common, getting bored, and going onto the next one... I think I answered your question, think about it. How can you get bored with someone that you lust after, laugh with, want to see, be with? You can't. You may want "space" but you also look forward to seeing them, why? Cause you fell for the "inner person" same likes, morals, core beliefs, values, sense of humor, goals, visions, with different hobbies and even work, but basically - core beliefs/morals/humor and goals in life.

You should try it: )

[a_dub]

Well yes, if I was being denied, off course I would... I agree with that statement... Remember though this thread states " preferance"....

Yes, if there was an attractive woman willing to do me, I would prefer her over my hands. So far, I haven't been able to find attractive women willing to tango with me, hence I've become quite well aquainted with the palm of my hand.

If you are bored, and get dumped.. You are viewing the women on the outside, dating them, finding not much in common, getting bored, and going onto the next one... I think I answered your question, think about it. How can you get bored with someone that you lust after, laugh with, want to see, be with? You can't. You may want "space" but you also look forward to seeing them, why? Cause you fell for the "inner person" same likes, morals, core beliefs, values, sense of humor, goals, visions, with different hobbies and even work, but basically - core beliefs/morals/humor and goals in life.

You should try it: )

Oh I'm looking for such a person all right however I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't exist. There's only 3.5 billion women on this planet, take away all the ones who are already taken + the ones who are too young/old, and I'm looking at long odds!

[ItsASecret]

Oh I'm looking for such a person all right however I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't exist.

But you are not looking, you are denying them the second they look at you because they are not a knockout and shrug your shoulders that there are no women out there. Then you try to date but you get bored because you are not sitting there titillated by her appearance which is not up to your "standards" hence you calling them average. The way you are projecting is you are wanting the knockout, the playboy model, the woman no guy has any chance with unless she says so but you are denying all other women because they do not look like her. The woman you are looking for may be thinking you are her knight in shining armor due to your personality or your abilities but you give the cold shoulder or call it boring if she is not what you are hoping for appearance wise. You need to give women more of a chance, that brilliant student may not be a model but she is smart and at least she can spell her name unlike some of the model-esq girls you meet on the street or drunkin in a bar. There are plenty of women in the world, you just need to open up to more and realize that appearance is not everything. You should be looking for that smart girl, the one who has potential to make a relationship last years, the one who can make you laugh anytime you are feeling down, the one that can provide the emotional support....not the one that you like because of the way she flips her hair or the skin tight clothes she is wearing.

[a_dub]

But you are not looking, you are denying them the second they look at you because they are not a knockout and shrug your shoulders that there are no women out there. Then you try to date but you get bored because you are not sitting there titillated by her appearance which is not up to your "standards" hence you calling them average. The way you are projecting is you are wanting the knockout, the playboy model, the woman no guy has any chance with unless she says so but you are denying all other women because they do not look like her. The woman you are looking for may be thinking you are her knight in shining armor due to your personality or your abilities but you give the cold shoulder or call it boring if she is not what you are hoping for appearance wise. You need to give women more of a chance, that brilliant student may not be a model but she is smart and at least she can spell her name unlike some of the model-esq girls you meet on the street or drunkin in a bar. There are plenty of women in the world, you just need to open up to more and realize that appearance is not everything. You should be looking for that smart girl, the one who has potential to make a relationship last years, the one who can make you laugh anytime you are feeling down, the one that can provide the emotional support....not the one that you like because of the way she flips her hair or the skin tight clothes she is wearing.

I know, I know.

You know how some people are born gay? Well I was born only having the hots for unattainable women.

Sad but true.

[ItsASecret]

Well I was born only having the hots for unattainable women.

Unfortunately, those women you want are the ones who require money to fake a smile. However with the odds you gave there is still a chance in the millions and millions of women still available to you that one woman you have in your fantasy world will like you for you, granted that number might be lower than you winning the lottery but it is still a number and if you wish to dwell and hope for that then all the more power to you. I am guessing you are young guy based on your appearance first tone, I am only 23 and see plenty of guys who think like you but I am hoping that one day you will realize one day that there are plenty more women out there for you than you think.

[a_dub]

Unfortunately, those women you want are the ones who require money to fake a smile. However with the odds you gave there is still a chance in the millions and millions of women still available to you that one woman you have in your fantasy world will like you for you, granted that number might be lower than you winning the lottery but it is still a number and if you wish to dwell and hope for that then all the more power to you. I am guessing you are young guy based on your appearance first tone, I am only 23 and see plenty of guys who think like you but I am hoping that one day you will realize one day that there are plenty more women out there for you than you think.

I'm young in spirit, somewhat less young in body (I'm almost 29...yikes!).

Interesting to know that you see plenty of guys "who think like me" cuz I thought I was the only one. Case in point. I just approached this really cute girl the other day. Usually when that happens, the girl is slightly more responsive than a flat tire. This girl was quite talkative and seemed really cool in addition to being super cute. But now, a few days removed, I find myself focusing more on her unattractive features just because she may have possibly shown a hint of potential interest (I have no clue if she'd go out with me should I ask her, which I am planning on doing). What was kind of a funny hang-up is now starting to weird me out now. If you had any insight, I'd appreciate it.

[Little]

It sounds like you are purposefully putting women on a pedestal just so you can rip them down again. It's showing of deeeeeep issues relating to women as human beings, as well as fear of rejection. You want a woman to be perfect, so when you find an imperfection it explodes your whole view of her. And if a perfect woman is accepting of you, you rip her up prematurely to fulfill your own prophecy.
Actually, an author I like has a book called Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt.) I haven't read it, but your issues reminded me of the title. It's written for teenaged girls, so maybe read the first chapter in the bookstore or library before purchasing or checking it out to see if it would help you. I did read his book Actually, It Is Your Parents' Fault, which was chock-full of VERY useful advice about finding a partner whose needs match or mirror your own and helped me a great deal.
I know LOTS and LOTS and LOOOOTSSS of men who have the same issue as you're portraying here, in varying intensities. Most of them are the ones crying about being "such nice guys" and that women only like jerks ... when they're only being nice to supermodels and being jerks to less attractive women. You seem to be very aware of your issue though ... sounds to me like you're open to changing your thought and behavior patterns.

[ItsASecret]

Interesting to know that you see plenty of guys "who think like me" cuz I thought I was the only one. Case in point.

Yes, I am in University those guys are everywhere and they do not have much luck and then they whine about not getting laid and wonder why. Most girls call the guys who demand that a girl be a certain appearance immature because only men with their head up in the clouds would deny the University girl who a good start on life and interest in the guy. Stating from experience around other women my age and older that when a guy is expecting to have a certain girl and only certain girls he is wasting his time. Girls do not want that guy. Girls want the guy who likes them for them, who wants to get to know them, who wants to spend time with them, they do not want the guy that only sees her as a potential pinup porn model.

One day you could be ripped upon by the woman you truly do like. Maybe you meet her at work and you realize that she is everything, she has a cute face, perfect personality, same interests and genuinely a fun person to be around...and maybe you ask her out and she denies you because you are not ripped like a star athlete and do not have the face of Brad Pitt. That would not be fair to you, everything about you may be perfect for her but she says no because of the way you look? That is not something you want to happen.

[a_dub]

One day you could be ripped upon by the woman you truly do like. Maybe you meet her at work and you realize that she is everything, she has a cute face, perfect personality, same interests and genuinely a fun person to be around...and maybe you ask her out and she denies you because you are not ripped like a star athlete and do not have the face of Brad Pitt. That would not be fair to you, everything about you may be perfect for her but she says no because of the way you look? That is not something you want to happen.

This HAS actually happened to me a few times. Yes, it does suck. I'm sure this is contributing to the way I am, but I've been like this even before I got shot out of the sky. Little mentioned something about prophecy, and it makes sense. Every since I was a kid, if I had to make any bets on it, thats what I would have put my money on happening.

You're also right, I have a huge fear of rejection, but most guys do, they just get over it at some point. I'm still working on that. But that still hasn't stopped me from pursuing women who ended up being quite a bit outta my league (proven by the class of guys they ended up with). I get shot down, but I get back up again. I figure there's no need to change my approach unless I'm 45 and still single.

Anyways, I'm gonna ask this girl out and see what happens. I'm relishing the challenge, but in the likely event she says no, I'll be right back where I started. But as they say, no harm in trying.