[WildChild]

No we don't.
I cut him off 5 months ago.
Giving him bjs several times a week and having intercourse a couple times a month doesn't cut it. I can give myself an orgasm anytime I want, I do so just about daily, he doesn't control that. I don't like being manipulated and am not a game player. If he can't collect his cumulative feces he can find someone else to play HO for him. I'm not doing it. There isn't anything about that that works for me.
He drops by to say hello about once every two or three weeks and texts asking for sex several times a week.
He initiates all contact, I'm not the one coming back for more and I'm not the one who started the nonsense of playing control games.
Don't know anything about Fuser/Isolator but it doesn't sound like it fits.

[oxy-moron]

Ah- you have changed the dynamics of the relationships.
You have stopped providing him with Orgasms and now he is keen again.
You sound like you may still have some feelings for him.
If you do get back with him- change the equation - try the Carrezza model.
No more BJs to completion- no more sex to completion.
He will be wanting to make love to you everyday of the week.

[WildChild]

I do still have strong feelings for him and make no secret of it. But I am quite prepared to move on if I can't be in a positive and loving relationship. We do not, have not and don't plan to live together. He will not tollerate situations that he can't be in control of sexually. I'm not interested in sex that doesn't go to completion. I wouldn't tollerate that from a lover, I certainly wouldn't make a habit of it to them. Affection and arousal are one thing, sex is another. Its better if you have them together but they don't have to be.

I did a quick read up on the Fusor/Isolator, probably every relationship has elements of that.

[WildChild]

I find very little on line about the Carrezza model. But it sounds like it was lifted from tantric practices. I quite familiar with those and know a number of tantric teachers and practitioners.

[oxy-moron]

Yes- I a lot of the principals have similarity to Tantra and and ancient Chinese beliefs. The fact the the chinese and Indians drew these conclusions separately makes me think that there must be something to it. The Tantra people try to mistify things with energy flows but the basics are the same.
I have seen many friends relationships crash when I felt they have been a good match. Then try to rebuild and have new relationships last 2 years or a bit longer if they lived together. I personally believe that Oxytocin is the key modulator of relationships.
I believe that LOVE gives you 2 Years to have a child- If there is a child the Oxytocin levels rise for bonding purposes.
No child and the Oxytocin is not there to keep the bond up and things drift apart. This is as nature wants it to be- No point in carrying on if there is no benefit to the species.

[WildChild]

Frankly I don't agree with you regarding the oxytocin or the 2 year window. I know people who were married happily and lovingly for 10 years before they had a child and some who never had any children and are still happily in love after 30 years together. Infatuation has been shown scientifically to last from 6 months to 2 years. This is a chemical flood in the body which results in a variety of emotional and physical responses. It is only after that subsides that you discover if you have real love and connection and not just infatuation. I don't know that oxytocin has anything to do with it.

[Rediscovered]

Wildchild, if you spell it as "Karezza" you will probably get more search hits~~I adore karezza with my lover~~

[oxy-moron]

Sorry- got interrupted.
I think that Carezzaa and the others take advantage of Oxytocin manipulation. The physical contact keeps a relationship plus from high Oxytocinn.
By removing the Orgasm from the equation the negative is reduced in the relationship.

[oxy-moron]

Yes sorry Carezza is the Italian for caress- I should have used Karezza.
I have noticed long term relationships without children and I think that they can form where emotional needs are being met and often one person instinctively manipulates Oxytocin through touch.

[clumsygirl]

it is simple: you never open the gate of your wife' sex