[Texinator]

It is boring for us to cook for our man every day, wash his clothes, clean the house, take care of our selves, our jobs, our education, but we would never hire a girl to do all this for us instead; we willingly do it for the sake of the relationship.

How many women are out there whose husbands have never given them an orgasm and yet would never consider looking for it from another man?

Relationships are about sharing. You share your heart but also many other things. That should extend to things like household chores. Why should the woman do all the work? Cook together and clean together. Or divide up the tasks. He can fold laundry while she cooks.

The same goes for emotions. Share your feelings. If the woman is not enjoying the sexual encounters then she should communicate this to her husband and they need to work together that both are satisfied. It's completely false that women don't have needs.

Porn is little more than an 'enhancer.' A visual one primarily for men though some women enjoy it as well. To be fair, women have their own enhancers like vibrators. But a vibrator doesn't replace the husband's penis just like a porn actress doesn't replace the wife.

When porn becomes a problem in any way it is typically the symptom for an underlying issue rather than the cause itself.

[stressed]

stressed.......i feel as if you have a very sad marraige, sure you love ur husband and he loves u, but god, forget the housework for a day, both of u call in sick for work, send the kids away, just spend the day in bed and have hot sex with your husband, clearly living with you he deserves it!

Thanks for the advice, although I'm 25, no children, have been engaged for less than a year, I'm studying and don't have a job. Just talking about the women I know of and dreading turning into one of them. My fiance has temporarily understood my views on porn, which have changed to the worse since I met him (long stories), but I'm not going to marry him if things stay as they are (another set of long stories).

[stressed]

To clarify my post: I was referring to numerous general cliches that are a standard in today's society and was not talking about myself.

Certainly, many couples communicate a lot, solve issues together and so on, but just remove the 'good will' of the few for a second take a look at the general picture: women are more suppressed than men overall. They always have been. To ask them to tolerate porn on top of that (I am talking about the women who have a problem with it, and they are not few) is just too much.

[Texinator]

True, but then let's work on getting rid of that suppression in general.

[stressed]

Of course! So let's just make a start with porn

[danceintx]

I will finally put in my 2 cents about porn, for what it's worth. I understand men are visually stimulated, and I have never been very uptight about men watching it in general. Not too long ago I googled some porn, watched it here and there, even got turned on by some, but in the end this is what I feel like about it. Most of the porn I have seen is very demeaning to women. I'm not just talking about the hard-core stuff, I mean 99% of it. I also feel like a man who watches it may get unreal expectations about sex from it and may get desensitized to "realistic" sex (if that made any sense). Much like we talk often on this forum about women being careful with the vibes cause it will desensitize us physically to having a real orgasm with our partner. If I found out my bf was watching, which he very well may, I don't know, don't ask, I would not feel jealous, but I would tell him my concerns about him watching it and take it from there. After watching it myself for a brief period I get why men watch it, but I still don't completely feel it is healthy.

[aminah09]

i think people that watch porn have a problem and women who think its ok for their husband or boyfriend to watch porn have issues.Because the man is looking at women that he is attracted to you.You might like the way he bangs you out after he watches it,but your not what turned him on,if that chick was in front of him he would bang her.SO you think your love life is fine cuz maybe it feels good,but its only the womens vagina that feels good,the mental state he is in is as if he is the man that was in that porno and your that beatiful sexy girl he is imagining he is having sex with.If a man has a porn problem it may not be because of you particularly,but most of the time it is because something is going on in his mind and or in the relationship.If he watches porn alot,then there is something your lacking in even if its not sex.Or its something he is lacking in or he isnt getting enough of.I agree porn is for lazy people,but not everybody masturbates when they watch porn.

[blondie80]

Ok so I have been reading this thread for a few days now and watching all sides of the argument as it has turned out, I still sometimes don't know where I sit on the fence with this one but for what its worth someone said earlier that teens should be taught to watch porn to masturbate, this is something I completely disagree with. Many reasons behind this but the main one is that porn sends a very unrealistic view on what happens in a bedroom to brains that haven't developed sexually yet, this then becomes somewhat of a sexual education, they may get where all the girls and guys spots are but then they don't get why what they do with their partner later on in life doesn't turn them on as it does in porn.
Women seem to disagree because women want to be everything sexually to their partner, they want to be the one that turns them on they want to be the one to take their sexual pleasure as we all know this is what is meant to be a big part of a relationship, to a degree this does take that away from the woman.
Now in saying this, men look its simple they are turned visually, at the end of the day though they all need to be able to differentiate between what they see and what they have. A guy may see his wife as being a non sexual person because she doesn't react the way a porn star does but what he may not understand is that she needs to feel desire she needs to feel wanted she needs to feel like she is his everything in order to want sex, which is very different to what they see on porn.
We are living in a world now where porn and sex is everywhere and to a degree if you know that it is fantasy and know how to have a real relationship and a real sex life and please your partner as well and make her feel she is important and have times where you be soft and gentle and caring then there isn't that much of a problem just as she needs to realise that men have urges and needs to have sex as a more animal instinct at times as well.
I think the line has to be drawn on both sides of understanding here, girls need to be a little more understanding at times and so do guys. Maybe its a thing of we all need more sexual education to find our own boundaries with porn and where the line should be drawn for each person.
Some women can be really offended to porn, I see another poster came in with quite an opinion as to some of the things behind porn as that yes he is getting turned on by the movie in front of him not by you. This is the main problem that women have with porn, lets face it if there was really a woman in front of him and not just the image of one and he was jacking off to it isn't that classified as cheating?? More communication more education both ways and alot more understanding, I dont think there will ever be a middle line on this subject as it is so hard for all of us to see the others side of the story.

[Tango]

porn

Watching porn cannot be as black and white as some have made it.

Yes, addictions are bad. Yes masturbating frequently instead of having sex with your wife is bad. Yes, watching porn that will set unrealistic expectations in the bedroom is bad. BUT

Not all porn is degrading, some porn is created and directed by women, for women, that empower women, embrace their beauty, and highlight the romance of sex.

Now, not all guys masturbate to porn. Some honestly and truly can look and not lose all control.

Women can use vibrators and it's nearly celebrated in society. Men masturbate and their animals.

Many men will buy their wife sex toys such as vibrators, how many women would buy their husband a pocket p---y?

Women can read trashy novels and Cosmo in public, but Maxim would never be left on a beach towel.

Women can swoon over Brad Pitt, but a man can't comment on a woman's without being a pig.

Do you honestly think men think during sex? LMAO- if they are enjoying it, then they are not thinking. Men are not like women. They can actually ignore their brains and let the little man do all the thinking.

So, unless your man is addicted, masturbates frequently, or is unable to be satisfied by his wife, what's the big deal? I'd be pretty upset if I couldn't look at Brad Pit anymore because my husband thought I masturbated to him, thought he set unrealistic expectations, or felt it was degrading.

[GlitterAndStuds]

Basically, I think porn needs to be handled like everything else.... in moderation.