Skippy: You are so far from being able to decide what is a need versus a desire/want for ME as an individual in a relationship that you may as well be on Pluto trying to tell me on Earth what the weather is like at my house just by looking. Check yourself.
I acknowledge that I won't die without penetrative sex, but a relationship would. But then again, you have over and over again shamed women specifically for being truthful about their feelings, so I should not be surprised that you would want to shame me for being frank about mine. The problem with your line of thinking is that you've chosen a poor target audience. The kind of women who would step up and silence your cruel accusations are not the kind of women who will be taken in by your poor show.
I, as an intelligent being whose opinions, desires, and YES, NEEDS matter, at least to those I choose to have around me and share my life, have taken the time to make up something of a checklist - a list of qualities that I just can't get around in a relationship. Items not easily changed by the potential partner, items I can't overlook. A certain degree of emotional availability. A physical location. A desire to spend X percentage of our free time together. And certainly not least, a sexual compatibility - inclusive of the ability to have satisfying penetrative sex. Anything less in a prospective partner would doom us to a sub-par relationship at best - full of constant fighting, frustration, and a continuing feeling that maybe we are really too incompatible to stay together long-term. Considering the population of people who speak languages I'm fluent in (375 million in English alone, and it's not the only one) there mathematically MUST BE men who fulfill the criteria I've set forth. Why should I punish myself and my partner by hanging onto a relationship that does not fulfill our needs? Self-flagellation is not my cup of tea, and nobody yet has convinced me otherwise.
So wherever you get off telling me that I'm not empathetic enough, find a hotel there and stay awhile, because nobody here is interested in that kind of cruddy logic.

Little:

In many post, including this one, I have given you compliments on your thougthfulness. You have stated some very wise things and I have learned some wise things from you. However, in your reply to troop I think your comments are insensitive and -- like other posts by differing people -- I disagree with them and am simply offering a different opinion. Where I differ is that I think another strategy than the one you suggested -- learning to change desires rather than outlining personal preference-- is another strategy.


I agree with you that this is a forum for women and I need to be respectful and being new and male, have made some errors (but I have also apologized). But with that said, I think you could have had greater empathy related to Troop's thoughts and you could have been more thoughtful with your words.

[LanaBear]

^^^ And this is why I love you Little!

Skippy - It seems as if you really have a bone to pick with the female race. I'm not sure if you are in a relationship or if you are if you are even happy, but to come here, to a forum FOR women, BY women and act like you do, well, there are no words. You seem to excel (well, not here) at talking down to women, our thoughts and feelings, because they are not YOURS are worthless and not worthy of being heard. You said it yourself in the breast thread that you know more of what it is like to be a woman than we do because of all your research and reading. Well, I've got news for you, you are so far beyond reasoning in that sense that I'm amazed you can see straight.

Like Little said, you need to check yourself when you are on here because disrespecting not only our members but those of are gender will get you no where, not here anyways.

[Little]

Skippy: You are so far from being able to decide what is a need versus a desire/want for ME as an individual in a relationship that you may as well be on Pluto trying to tell me on Earth what the weather is like at my house just by looking. Check yourself.
I acknowledge that I won't die without penetrative sex, but a relationship would. But then again, you have over and over again shamed women specifically for being truthful about their feelings, so I should not be surprised that you would want to shame me for being frank about mine. The problem with your line of thinking is that you've chosen a poor target audience. The kind of women who would step up and silence your cruel accusations are not the kind of women who will be taken in by your poor show.
I, as an intelligent being whose opinions, desires, and YES, NEEDS matter, at least to those I choose to have around me and share my life, have taken the time to make up something of a checklist - a list of qualities that I just can't get around in a relationship. Items not easily changed by the potential partner, items I can't overlook. A certain degree of emotional availability. A physical location. A desire to spend X percentage of our free time together. And certainly not least, a sexual compatibility - inclusive of the ability to have satisfying penetrative sex. Anything less in a prospective partner would doom us to a sub-par relationship at best - full of constant fighting, frustration, and a continuing feeling that maybe we are really too incompatible to stay together long-term. Considering the population of people who speak languages I'm fluent in (375 million in English alone, and it's not the only one) there mathematically MUST BE men who fulfill the criteria I've set forth. Why should I punish myself and my partner by hanging onto a relationship that does not fulfill our needs? Self-flagellation is not my cup of tea, and nobody yet has convinced me otherwise.
So wherever you get off telling me that I'm not empathetic enough, find a hotel there and stay awhile, because nobody here is interested in that kind of cruddy logic.

[caterpillar79]

Bottom line is...size does not really matter that much - It's how you use it.

Troop:

I know this is easy to say, but I think Fallen makes a really good point. Despite a small minority of women who state they want a certain size -- be it above 3 inches or over 8, most women really do not care. Your experiences -- although painful -- are not the normal for women. Again, this is easy to say, but I think Fallen makes a profound point -- find women (and there are more than not) who will love and enjoy your personality qualities, and those are the types of women in which sex is really special and good.

That doesn't have anything to do with what Dlanier said ... unless you mean to say this whole thread makes you feel badly.

People have the right to decide what's important to them in a relationship. Penetrative sex is probably the most important sexual quality for me in a relationship - so I wouldn't be able to stay in a relationship with a man who was significantly below average (I imagine this would entail 3" or less.) But there are lots of women out there to whom penetrative sex is not so important, to whom oral or manual sex is the last word. Maybe you should be pursuing relationships with these women, Troop.
But regardless of another person's preferences concerning penis size in a partner, only you can control how you feel about your own penis size. This is a body part whose size cannot be easily changed, and anybody who disparages you for it is short-sighted and downright mean. The women who cheated on you and told you it was because of your size probably had their own issues, but chose to dump on you instead of addressing them. Don't punish yourself because of their immaturity.

Little:

Perhaps another strategy is for women who like penatrative sex and somethnig over a certain size to be less focus on their self-oriented desires (not needs) and learn to like other things

[Little]

That doesn't have anything to do with what Dlanier said ... unless you mean to say this whole thread makes you feel badly.

People have the right to decide what's important to them in a relationship. Penetrative sex is probably the most important sexual quality for me in a relationship - so I wouldn't be able to stay in a relationship with a man who was significantly below average (I imagine this would entail 3" or less.) But there are lots of women out there to whom penetrative sex is not so important, to whom oral or manual sex is the last word. Maybe you should be pursuing relationships with these women, Troop.
But regardless of another person's preferences concerning penis size in a partner, only you can control how you feel about your own penis size. This is a body part whose size cannot be easily changed, and anybody who disparages you for it is short-sighted and downright mean. The women who cheated on you and told you it was because of your size probably had their own issues, but chose to dump on you instead of addressing them. Don't punish yourself because of their immaturity.

[Fallen1]

I've had several negative experiences when it comes to women and my size, that have proven to me that size does matter. At a very minimum, a vast majority of women want average and I don't even come close.

Then they aren't the women for you! When a woman truly loves you it doesn't matter what's in your pants.

[Troop]

I've had several negative experiences when it comes to women and my size, that have proven to me that size does matter. At a very minimum, a vast majority of women want average and I don't even come close.

[Little]

Troop, why do you feel badly that someone thinks perception and satisfaction are more important than a number?