[BugSauce]

Penis size is not usually a deal breaker, but it is still important. Please remember that most doctors will tell you that the girth is what gives the woman the fullness feeling and not the length. (They will also tell you that the top two thirds of the vagina have no nerve endings). Also, the majority of women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation (there are those that can!) so either way you need to learn how to use the mouth and hands regardless in my opinion. Remember, not every woman is the same and the likes and dislikes can be drastically different so be sure to be open with discussing said things with your partner.

[Troop]

Okay, this is a general reply to all, but here goes. Things wouldn't be so bad, if it were just those couple of instances, and the end. But it's not. It's also society at large (ha ha). I can't go anywhere, watch a movie, listen to music, or do much of anything without being slapped across the face with the general societal belief that yes bigger is better. There's even some sort of song called "Short D**k Man" all over YouTube with very young girls singing along with it. It's become perfectly acceptable to humiliate guys that are smaller because really, what guy is going to stand up publicly and say he's offended?

As for the breast augmentation thing? I think it's entirely up to the woman if she wants them or not. She shouldn't get them to make someone else happy, only herself. But she does have that option, I don't. There's nothing that can be done for me. I appreciate everyone's comments, and there's no hating on anyone. It just is what it is.

That's cool, internet typing sucks


Point scoring, is ego, pertaining to your comment Skip re:- your size.... There really isn't much room for that in relationships when it's too high. Because "people" become self centred.


If that makes sense.

CW:

I do not have the time to reply at length -- maybe I can tomorrow to your post and others. But can in explain what I quoted above? I am not understanding what you sayng. Sorry.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I must respectfully disagree with my fellow Administrator, CW, on the idea of

gender differences beyond the physiological.

Just throwing out there that I don't think one gender is superior to another in any way, but instead try to judge on an individual basis.

That's cool, internet typing sucks

It is on a physicological point of view that I made that comment... Most definately, we are all individuals. If we use the word gender perhaps in a different form, and use the terminology of being "in-tune" with the opposite sex. In my opinion, a man who is able to tap into his feminine side, is more in-tune with how a woman thinks... That' more to the point of what I was trying to get across.

Point scoring, is ego, pertaining to your comment Skip re:- your size.... There really isn't much room for that in relationships when it's too high. Because "people" become self centred.

I do not think that there is anything wrong with being an individual, knowing what you want out of life, what fits and what doesn't what will ensure a lasting fullfilling relationship and what wont. If you know of this, you are not settling, you are ensuring you are giving yourself one heck of a chance of a long beautiful life with one partner...

We all I believe as women agree, size doesn't matter. But, it's impossible honestly to say that if someone bonds with another, via penitrative sex and can not get that, that they should dismiss that feeling/thought and go with someone else and live an un-fullfilled life for the rest of their lives.

There we are talking about "choices"

A person chooses to tick the boxes of her/his future partner and makes a choice.

Typical dating is different...You are not looking at forever, until you've bonded and you can bond, from personality, charisma, and work with toys, and other methods as a result... It's later that you decide you want to marry that person.

If that makes sense.

[dlanier248]

I am 6ft 7in, 290lbs, huge hands, size 14shoes... and I am NOT in the porn business. big hands and big feet do not mean big *****. therefore small hands and small feet does not mean small ***.

Sorry, I had to correct my weight, I am a big guy, but not that big. lol......

[Little]

Found this graph while googling for a penis size bell graph. Suddenly my supposition that a penis under 3" long might not do the trick doesn't look so callous, does it? But I do feel badly for the guys at 7" and up. There are statistically a lot more of them, and they would never have had a chance.

[Little]

I'll try to take this point by point so I'm not overlooking anything.

In post 52 you state back to Troop – a guy who just stated (1) his penis is quite below average, and (2) he feels inadequate about it and “like crap” – that you “would not be able to stay in a relationship with a man who is significantly below average.” Troop may be that man, and due to this, I find your comments incredible insensitive and self-focused.

Those words were meant to be honest and frank, and to highlight that though I as an individual require one thing of a relationship, I am not representative of EVERY woman's requirements. It was a juxtaposition: I, who require penetrative sex, versus the woman who values different forms of sex more equally, versus a woman who may essentially hate penetrative sex but value oral sex as highly as I value penetrative.

That is why I differed between a need and desire – needs are things as human we have to have to live. We need food or water or we die.

I've already explained that while I realize I will not physically die without sex, a budding relationship would suffer - perhaps mortally. I stipulate that a BUDDING relationship would be the one to suffer, both to segue into your proposed scenario, and to mention that because I value sex so highly, I would not (and have never) get(gotten) too attached before ensuring a degree of sexual compatibility exists. Perhaps a more precise word would be "requirement," but that's cumbersome and doesn't get to the point. I NEED sex from a healthy relationship, so I'm going to call it a need.

As CW stated, it’s about mind over matter and I am challenging you to apply this. If you husband was in a car accident and had traumatic pelvis injuries and lost his ability to have an erection (or cancer of the penis with removal of it) – would you divorce him because “you would not be able to stay in a relationship with a man who is significantly below average?”

Obviously, this would not be subject to previous logic, because it does not apply to a budding relationship. He was chosen on the basis of having fulfilled all my requirements and consistently meeting my needs (which made the growing love for him tenable, to be clear.) Taking away his penis does not magically remove his DNA from my son, does not remove the years of previous need-meeting. It also doesn't remove the level of comfort and spirit of compromise we've developed in our relationship - two things that do NOT exist in a brand-new one. Even barring the possibility for reconstructive surgery, there is a rich and varied industry of sex toys that would supplement that which had been unfairly taken from our relationship. Throwing a strap-on at a cruddy situation is a FAR cry from throwing a strap-on at a cruddy match.

Perhaps this is a gender difference between men and women, but I think most men who are smaller would find this to be an incredible insensitive post. I look to other men who are following this thread for their thoughts (maybe I am jumping to conclusions).

I must respectfully disagree with my fellow Administrator, CW, on the idea of gender differences beyond the physiological. Just throwing out there that I don't think one gender is superior to another in any way, but instead try to judge on an individual basis. That shouldn't come as a shock, seeing as how I may explode if I type the word individual one more time, but I wanted to clarify.

Further, by outlining your desire for penetrative sex, the obvious thought is that that a guy who is longer or bigger can have greater penetrative sex. Maybe I am wrong on this and you need to challenge my thinking on this, but it’s how I interpreted your words. If that is the cause, then a man who is smaller will feel inadequate.

This is almost funny to me, because I actually get "fan mail" in my WH inbox for previous posts (around 2008) singing the praise of an ex-boyfriend whose size was below average. He was a good match to my vaginal size. This is just another INDIVIDUAL issue. While I have a small vagina and cannot comfortably accommodate sizes above average (at least I couldn't before I pushed a baby through it As for now, who knows??) for another woman whose vagina is naturally larger, a larger penis may be more effective for her pleasure. And I won't begrudge her that pleasure! After all, there should be a better match than me for those poor boys I said "no" to over the years because they were too big (true story!)

In the end, let me say this related to CW words about finding the feminine side. I have tried to become more “feminine” over the years. At one time in my life I was the guy who thought bigger was better and I am a guy that is larger than average. To this end, I think that I am now a male who has internalized the fact – which most women make – that size (related to penises and breasts) does not matter, it’s all about personality. Having sons and a daughter has helped me realize how harmful my past behaviors – which is viewed as normative male behavior – have been in thinking bigger was better. So, I am trying, but perhaps I am still a little too maleish-aggressive in my posts. If I have been too aggressive in outlining mixed message, let me know and I will try to do better.

I don't really have anything to say to this, considering it assigns behaviors and traits to genders rather than individuals, which is incongruous with my views. If I wanted you off the forum, I would simply ban you. Ask around: the ban hammer is applied liberally on this forum. Are you dismissive and bullheaded? Sure. Do you display zero desire to actually learn or let your views change on the subjects you start? Yup. But as you said, the conversations are engaging. And I yet hold hope that you can find some kind of value for the individual, some kind of disdain for unnecessary self-flagellation.

[maleview]

A couple of thoughts: 1) I have learned over the years that it is not wise to try to tell a woman what she should think. 2) I am on here hoping to get honest answers from women so I can be more informed in dealing with the women (wife, daughter etc.) in my life. 3) If men could manipulate their penis like a finger "too small" would never be an issue, but "too large" still would.

Little:

I have learned in life that people are often quick to outline other people’s problematic behaviors, than their own. I have tried to listen to your words, but I am not sure you are listening to mine. For example, in my last post 64 I am attempting to reconcile our different views related to your post 52. I was trying to agree with you that there are other aspects of sex that can be pleasurable to women (oral) that men who are smaller can do. I can chalk up your mis-interpretation to my rushed and poor writing, but I also think that you are not listening to the positive parts of my writing, and instead focused on the negatives. I would suggest that you do the thing that CW suggested – see the positives in my posts, not the negatives. I will try to do the same and realize that I am also guilty of seeing only the negative.

With that said, let me get to the crux of my issue (paragraph below). I hope we can reconcile your differences in a mature way and hope this post does not seem as attacking. I also realize I may be focused on the negative (below) and hope we can turn this into a positive (either through the collective will of other posters or even in some private messages between us– if needed).

In post 52 you state back to Troop – a guy who just stated (1) his penis is quite below average, and (2) he feels inadequate about it and “like crap” – that you “would not be able to stay in a relationship with a man who is significantly below average.” Troop may be that man, and due to this, I find your comments incredible insensitive and self-focused. That is why I differed between a need and desire – needs are things as human we have to have to live. We need food or water or we die. As CW stated, it’s about mind over matter and I am challenging you to apply this. If you husband was in a car accident and had traumatic pelvis injuries and lost his ability to have an erection (or cancer of the penis with removal of it) – would you divorce him because “you would not be able to stay in a relationship with a man who is significantly below average?” Perhaps this is a gender difference between men and women, but I think most men who are smaller would find this to be an incredible insensitive post. I look to other men who are following this thread for their thoughts (maybe I am jumping to conclusions).
Further, by outlining your desire for penetrative sex, the obvious though is that that a guy who is longer or bigger can have greater penative sex. Maybe I am wrong on this and you need to challenge my thinking on this, but it’s how I interpreted your words. If that is the cause, then a man who is smaller will feel inaquate.

In the end, let me say this related to CW words about finding the feminine side. I have tried to become more “feminine” over the years. At one time in my life I was the guy who thought bigger was better and I am a guy that is larger than average. To this end, I think that I am now a male who has internalized the fact – which most women make – that size (related to penises and breasts) does not matter, it’s all about personality. Having sons and a daughter has helped me realize how harmful my past behaviors – which is viewed as normative male behavior – have been in thinking bigger was better. So, I am trying, but perhaps I am still a little too maleish-aggressive in my posts. If I have been too aggressive in outlining mixed message, let me know and I will try to do better.

At the end, Little, even though I find your comments insensitive, I do hope we can reconcile our differences and that may mean other thread members being liaisons or some private conversations. I realize this is a woman forum and that I am new and male and may have not understood the culture of this website. I have also learned from you and others that some women’s comment about their men’s size – and actually measuring it – may be more connected to simple curiosity and silliness and not much else. But I did find your comments to Troop to be insensitive.

If enough people ask me to leave, I have no problem leaving, although I will admit I have found the conversations engaging.

[caterpillar79]

Every gender has his or her own place to get stuck with. In this case, this man is stuck with his penis size. Likewise, some women are stuck with their.....lol.....shoes, bags, and shopping! (Kidding).