[rcoreyus]

I think porn can be addictive for some people. I think it can also be bad if people watching it use it is their primary source of information about sex. Like pretty much all movies, it presents a very distorted view of the world: "Die Hard" is not a good place to get an idea of what it is like to be a building security guard, nor do the James Bond movies give a good idea of the life of a spy. Like those movies, porn is a wild exaggeration for entertainment .

[jen1447]

I disagree, slightly - not so much an exaggeration as a misrepresentation so as to portray it effectively for what it's purpose is - to fuel masturbation for the most part. Obviously with that as the goal you're going to focus on the highlights and graphic stuff, likewise with the need to frame shots and whatnot (hint: women don't actually always pull their hair aside when they're going down on other women so that there is a clear view of the action from that side ), but IMO it's more like a short instead of a movie. They leave out all the parts that make it real and leave in all the parts that make it graphic, it's just that leaving out the real parts makes it unreal. Taking notes on how that woman above does oral might actually be good for your technique, because it's not like the technique is phony or anything. The problem is that 'making love' does not consist of performing oral, and things like your partner's response and all those little nuances and interactions that are a part of real sex are generally ignored.

The biggest issue with porn imo is that it facilitates and teaches you how to masturbate, not have sex with another person.

[ItsASecret]

I told my buddies that I only watch "normal" things like DP, anal, and guy-girl and or MFM videos. My buddy then told me, quite to my surprise, that DP and MFM aren't that "normal" and the fact that I would say it was was proof of how warped my sense of sex had become.

Correct. Often if you make the mention of these ideas to future partners you may get a quick slap across the face, an angered response, or a flat out bug-eyed shock response simply because a lot of women do not want to be treated in the manner that porn portrays. Just because you see it happen in porn does not mean it can be transferred into real life. The reason porn is there is because it is an escape from reality, with a few clicks any wild fantasy can be found. In real life however that is far far from the way things actually happen.

[rcoreyus]

Some men get unrealistic ideas about sex from porn, some understand it is just fantasy. Some do compare their partners to what they see on the screen, others again understand that movies aren't reality.

Movies contain all sorts of completely unrealistic images of both men and women. Men are no more likely to live up to the expectations set by action heroes, or the male leads in romance movies than women are to want to act like porn stars. I think media presents extremely distorted images of men, women and romance, and it can be damaging to relationships if anyone believes these images are real.

[Josephlin101]

Movies contain all sorts of completely unrealistic images of both men and women. Men are no more likely to live up to the expectations set by action heroes, or the male leads in romance movies than women are to want to act like porn stars. I think media presents extremely distorted images of men, women and romance, and it can be damaging to relationships if anyone believes these images are real.

Exactly. In fact, even commercials are influential. Don't think if you don't buy the products the commercials are selling then you're not influenced. Women who view just a few commercials depicting women in traditional gender roles are more likely to describe their future in homemaker roles than career roles. Commercials aren't just selling products; they're selling values. Lifestyle. Worldviews.
The area of influence is different though. Movies influence people to have unrealistic expectations on their own body image and how romantic relationship should work. Porn influence directly on how sex should be like.
Therefore, we really have to be careful on what we're watching.

[a_dub]

Correct. Often if you make the mention of these ideas to future partners you may get a quick slap across the face, an angered response, or a flat out bug-eyed shock response simply because a lot of women do not want to be treated in the manner that porn portrays. Just because you see it happen in porn does not mean it can be transferred into real life. The reason porn is there is because it is an escape from reality, with a few clicks any wild fantasy can be found. In real life however that is far far from the way things actually happen.

Lol, I think just mentioning sex to women is likely to get me a slap across the face, haha.

I'm not saying I expect a girl to do DP or anal or a MFM gangbang. If she wanted to do it, I'd definitely jump at the opportunity cuz its my fantasy and it looks hot as hell in porn. I've watched amateur porn and while I agree some things on porn are purely fake (like the makeup, perfectly tanned skin, fake nails, the more outlandish positions so you can see the penetration, etc) but in general I think porn gets a bad rap for being faker than it really is.

For example. In real life people do oral as foreplay. So too in porn. In real life the man will stick his fingers inside a woman to warm her up. So too in porn. In real life the couple will frequently switch positions during sex. Same thing with porn. The particular positions might vary slightly but I'm sure everyone here does the typical porn positions of doggy, woman on top, reverse cowgirl, spooning, etc.

The fakeness of porn is really limited if you think about it. Women don't constantly moan or instantly start orgasming and guys usually don't bust their load on a chick's face. Thats pretty much the only thing thats fake about porn.

Personally, I like watch porn more than being with a real woman. My buddies think thats messed up and told me to watch the movie Don Jon, which I did, and I can totally relate to him except for the ending of the movie. Frankly, as an average looking guy, it requires way too much effort to get into a relationship with a reasonably attractive girl, so porn makes more sense. I know that porn can't "suck your c--k" or that porn can't replace the love and care of a real woman, but I've never been in a relationship before so that stuff doesn't mean a whole lot to me. Sure, in an ideal world, I'd love to have a GF and then maybe a wife, but lets face it, I only seem to be attracted to girls who have no interest in me. Porn just makes so much more sense. I've made it 31 years without a relationship, I can make it another 30 years or however long I live.

But I can't live without porn.

[rcoreyus]

Everyone is welcome do live as they wish as long as it doesn't interfere with others. I think though that by just thinking about the physical sensations, you are missing a lot of the value in sex. To my mind that is the worst mistake that porn makes.

Most very wealthy men get married, when if they wanted they could afford as many stunningly beautiful call girls every night as they could possibly want.

[HerHusband]

Wow. Seems way too many people mentally masturbate over the pros and cons of porn.
I watch porn. My newly rejuvenated sex drive almost mandates it, it seems. I don't use it as a tool for masturbation but I sometimes do later but its always with the fantasy of my wife.
I think there is many different kinds of porn if we just stay in the narrow band of what I would consider straight sex as in hetro including vaginal, oral sex for her and him, anal, and foreplay. Personally I dislike the professional stuff. So fake and phony. The women all have huge perfect boobs, are 20 year old nymphos and the rest of the stereotype. All of the men are perfect examples of six pack abs and junk halfway down the leg and all the rest of the male porn star stereotype.
I prefer armature porn clips on sites that I wont list here. Its easy to tell which ones are real and the ones not. Normal people sharing their sex lives on vids. I don't watch for hours. Maybe 30-40 min a couple times a week. It does wind me up sometimes and I seek out the wife and she wonders what hit her so to speak. She knows I watch porn at times and she does not and is OK with me doing it and I think she knows it adds fuel to OUR fire so to speak. Watching armature porn also give me ideas to try with her and change things up some. Its part of the reason I convinced her to try anal a while back. It was something we worked up to over a few sessions in a couple weeks. She wasn't sure but willing to try. Now she likes it and count me a lucky guy, she asks for sometimes.
I tell her constantly if there is something she wants to try Im open but so far she is good with where we are going. She wants to explore some outdoor fun and a few other things. Mostly because I have been emboldened to explore she has been willing to let me know things she has fantasized about.
So Im in the camp that porn isn't the devils tool that some say. Sure the potential for abuse is there just like anything but count me as a fan. In moderation.

[DreamP346]

My newly rejuvenated sex drive almost mandates it, it seems.

Welcome HH. Based on your post, I am assuming you are a man. You mention a rejuvenated sex drive. Myself and my others on this forum would be very interesting in hearing about how that came about. We've heard about women having a sexual awakening or developing an increased sex drive later in life, but never in men. Would you mind telling us what brought about this rejuvenated sex drive? Many of us on this forum have male partners with low sex drives. I just assumed that would never change. But your comment makes we wonder if change is still possible.

[Stillness]

Would you mind telling us what brought about this rejuvenated sex drive?

Maybe this?

Im 51 and am one of the guys who slowly got fat and uninterested in sex. Testosterone therapy for men is an amazing thing. I lost 70 pounds over the last couple years and my sex drive is great. Im good for 2-3 times a day if the opportunity is there.