[Baboy]

Perhaps Bill Clinton is lurking here, and he'll share some views on whether oral sex is sex.

[Magnetism]

I'm not sure I understand "deal breaker" issue. From an intimacy standpoint, vaginal penetration is just one of many acts that I would consider "sex". Cunilingus is certainly an intimate sexual act as is fellatio. The same can be said for anal penetration and analingus. But to answer your question, oral sex is indeed sex.

Effy- If a man says, "Oral sex doesn't count," I feel like he's minimizing how good giving oral sex feels to me. If I get extreme pleasure out of something, it's sex to me. For a man to discount what I consider sex.....well, it would kind of hurt my feelings.

[jen1447]

Perhaps Bill Clinton is lurking here, and he'll share some views on whether oral sex is sex.

Doesn't it depend on the meaning of "is?" (You know you left that one wide open on purpose. )

It's actually a fairly monumental question, considering that if oral isn't sex, myself and lesbian/bi women everywhere have a lot of non-sex with women. Also, what counts as the penetrator? Vibrators and dildos and strapons, or only flesh and blood penises? And what counts as the receiver, just real vaginas or mouths and bums, boob tunnels, etc.?

I suppose the answer is really academic in that in the most static sense, "sex" is what a male and a female have to do to procreate, but if that's all sex is, we're all in trouble. In any non-laboratory context, any sexual activity between two or more people is sex enough to be sex.

[DreamP346]

In sex education, any time genitals are involved in any way, it's sex. Oral, anal, fingering, etc.

[Stillness]

It's "oral sex" so it's sex. But that's semantic. For me it's not the sexual act.

I could have foreplay all day. I love it that much. But I don't feel the same if things don't culminate with sex. Oral sex can be very intense - maybe even more physically pleasurable. The vagina and penis were made for each other, though. Putting them together is like nothing else, for me. It's like coming home.

I'm keeping it real because I love you and I know that a lot of people, probably most, feel the same way I do. Part of me always wonders if things wouldn't change for you with the right man. If they don't, I think I told you before that I had a coworker tell me that bad oral sex is better than great sex. I doubt he's the only one. Your guy is out there.

[Magnetism]

With the right man, I'm sure it will be fine. I just think oral sex counts as sex, especially when a couple may not have time. Morning bjs before work. <3

[effy2014]

Effy- If a man says, "Oral sex doesn't count," I feel like he's minimizing how good giving oral sex feels to me. If I get extreme pleasure out of something, it's sex to me. For a man to discount what I consider sex.....well, it would kind of hurt my feelings.

Now I understand. I would feel the same way if a woman said cunilingus didn't count. We all take pride in how we please our partners. I'm not sure the issue is sex as much as it is appreciating what we have rather than what we want. If oral sex doesn't count because he wants intercourse, it is a piggish thing to say.

[Magnetism]

Effy-Yes, a former partner that told me that it didn't count did have some stereotypical "piggish" traits. He had some charming traits too, which is why I stayed. Looking back, it wasn't a good it at all.

These past partners teach us what we do want. Now, I know that personality definitely counts when wanting someone to enter you. How can we become in unison with someone that we don't truly respect?

[Baboy]

it is a piggish thing to say.

Effy-Yes, a former partner that told me that it didn't count did have some stereotypical "piggish" traits.

My little pig ears are burning.

[a_dub]

Doesn't it depend on the meaning of "is?" (You know you left that one wide open on purpose. )

It's actually a fairly monumental question, considering that if oral isn't sex, myself and lesbian/bi women everywhere have a lot of non-sex with women. Also, what counts as the penetrator? Vibrators and dildos and strapons, or only flesh and blood penises? And what counts as the receiver, just real vaginas or mouths and bums, boob tunnels, etc.?

I suppose the answer is really academic in that in the most static sense, "sex" is what a male and a female have to do to procreate, but if that's all sex is, we're all in trouble. In any non-laboratory context, any sexual activity between two or more people is sex enough to be sex.

Is making out sex? Or hand holding on the couch or a hug? All can be done with sexual feelings and lead to sex.