[jen1447]

fwiw I'm pretty familiar - my BF deals with and helps these types of women professionally from time to time. But I'm in for the big win on Adillon's part here so I'll back down if that's the consensus.

[rcoreyus]

Just to be clear, I said I "know" he is reading this - sorry that was a big exaggeration. She said that he read an earlier post, so I am just assuming he would check again from another computer - I think juts about anyone would in this situation.

I don't think "outing" him is a good idea for a bunch of reasons. We have to remember that however believable the story is, this is the internet and things are not always what they seem. The OP could get in trouble for libel if she can't prove the things she has claimed. The money issue could be a lot more complex than it seems - it isn't clear to me how much he is paying for. Also we don't know much about the boyfriend, he might just be a standard abuser, but he could also be very dangerous. The post would help law enforcement track him down AFTER he has done something terrible.

I still think the best solution for everyone is for him to just leave.

[Adillon0698]

I feel claret and Corey is right, I have been going through great measures to keep him from seeing any of this. I do love the support and how I have so many defending me, but if he saw any of this he would go into an outrage. Right now I use an ipad that my mother gave to my children. ( Why i have so many typos) It's on her data thankfully because when we fight he takes the Internet cables. I understand everyone sees it best for me to leave and get the law involved. The most I can get is a ppo and what are laws to him??? He beat his best friend with a motorcycle helmet... Never stepped foot in jail. Didn't go to jail the night he few me around, pushed me held my neck. He is over 300 lbs and climbed on top of me choking me with his knees and spitting in my face til I nearly passed out. No he didn't go to jail, I DID. He's told me, and made it very clear, if he were to do anything nothing would stop him he would do it and either commit suicide or run away to Mexico. He is Mexican. I do not fear him as long as I don't cross him, I work very hard every day to do keep this up. I make sure he has dinner, I text him every single thing I'm doing per his request, I do his laundry, keep the house spotless, agree to his nonsense arguments. I mentioned my cat, it took a deal with the devil for me to save this stray starving cat. He made me swear to 5 oral sex to get this cat. I haven't done one yet. Last night, 5 am he tried making me do it. I was exhausted. I'm not sleeping. I lay in bed for 4 hours my mind going crazy. I was so tired I just couldn't. H started getting mean saying I made a deal for the **** cat and if I'm not going to do it he would be sure to get rid of her tomorrow. I laid there quietly while he ranted. He said he wasn't afraid to kill it. Then he laughed, (he was high) and pulled me close and said I'm just kidding baby I'm just kidding. At the moment my mind went into a state of fear. I thought, oh my god if he can easily say this jokingly high, or not, what would happen if he's drunk and just thought nothing of me and my kids?? I instantly started picturing him stabbing us all to death. Then I jumped right into I have to get him out of my life now. But how? I thought about everything everyone said on here. Went through all the options, and concluded no law would ever stop him from hurting me. I can't disappear off the face of the earth with my children at some womens shelter, or anywhere. I can't run away from him! He is obsessed with me and determined and won't stop. I know I can get him to leave, but I will be stalked and as soon as he catches wind of another male speaking to me, or even gets too drunk one night he will be at my door. You guys I can't run from this. I know him, I have never saw him as a murderer, just as someone who has very serious mental issues. He believes he loves me, he just thinks he rules me, and my every move. Like its a game, and he is the best. I get my car back next week. its been 2 years since I wrecked it. I'm ecstatic. An escape! I can work now! I have my freedom I'm no longer chained down to the house. I have maybe a month 1/2 til my money comes in. He's working 50 hours a wk now. All though I am scared at times of what he may be capable of, I feel I'm stronger and smarter. He goes on every emotion he has and instantly acts on it. I am smarter to keep my mouth shut smile, and know that behind that my smile, I'm saying 1 month a s s hole. I spoke with my childrens dad he is going to be keeping the kids more than I am now. Usually he only takes them two days a week. But for their safety, I've asked him to. When I do leave him, it's going to be hell for me. I was a cop. I know how to defend myself and be smart about it, but I've always failed to see he is much bigger and much stronger. I also want to say I don't want to call him out on anything, no offense Jen, I think in another situation it would be a good idea. But when this ends, I don't want a battle to the death with court, or with him. I could end up losing my children. That is number one for me at all times. This is why I can't tell my family. My mother would fight to get them and has the money to do so. I could lose everything I own and not give a ****. My babies are my life and I will fight with everything in me to keep them. I'm getting stronger, with all of your help!

[Adillon0698]

Chandlers wish I got your message. I will take action to see what I can do, I promise. I am very active in my pet community, and will ask around. What a very generous offer, I really appreciate it. I could never accept... Thank you. I am full of so much hope! I got this! I'm afraid to give my home location or anything... You already know my last name hence my profile name. His name is Edgar. We live in southwest Florida. If I delete this forum thread, he has seen it or became suspicious. I do not know how to friend people or send messages

[Adillon0698]

He only read my first post! Wen I can message, I will message chandlers wish my account info so she can change it if its necessary.

[Adillon0698]

Oh one huge thing I've left out, I do not want to do anything to make him suspicious of my escape from him. If I do, it could be a catastrophe. My life now around him, is lies upon lies. I hate myself for it. I have no choice. I believe if you read everything I say, I think you'll see why.

[rcoreyus]

Once he saw this site, he can find it from any computer. Even if you change your username it won't be difficult for him to figure out who you are. Just as he can't escape his internet history, you can't escape yours. (sorry, but its the sad reality)

[rcoreyus]

He threatened to commit suicide if you leave him. That is his choice. If what you have said about him is true, then it may be the only honorable option left to him. If he wishes to go to Mexico, that is certainly he choice - I see no harm for you or him if he does. If he has friends or family there, that might be a fine solution.

Threatening to kill your pet to get oral sex is of course despicable. Animal cruelty is against the law and can be prosecuted.

You are an ex cop?? I'm surprised the police won't help you. Can you legally buy a gun?

It is a good move to get the children away - sending them with their father for a while is fine. Might he take the pets as well? Get everyone you care about out of this guy's reach.

He might kill you, but I don't think so. Too many people know about the threats, and the boyfriend is the first suspect in any case. Would he really be willing to spend most of his life in jail just to get revenge? If he hurts you badly, its the same thing - even a few years in prison will ruin the rest of his life. (I have a close friend who is an ex-con, in this market its almost impossible for them to find work, even 10 years later) If he threatens or attacks a future boyfriend - same thing applies.

Do you know anyone who would act as a witness when you tell him to leave? Is he going to kill 2 people??? Do you have any ex-cop friends?

You can file a police report on his threats. Even if they can't arrest him now, it will be on record.

I think if you leave, his power over you will vanish and he will go away - probably to try to find someone else to control.

I do not think he has any real power over you - he has just convinced you that he does.

[Adillon0698]

Corey I meant he has said to me if he were to hurt me or kill me or anyone for that matter, it would be a murder suicide or he would run away to Mexico. I'm sorry I didn't word that correctly! Well I'm just looking to hope for the best! Thanks Corey for taking the time to listen as well...

[Stillness]

I have a good friend whose father killed a neighbor when her mother tried to get him to help her. Then years later this same friend's brother ran his car into his girlfriend's after a high speed chase and killed her. This stuff is common.

These people aren't caring about prison or after effects. That's what normal people think about - people who don't beat, threaten, and emotionally abuse their woman. If he's saying he'll kill, I believe him. He's beat her and his friend and manipulated law enforcement. He's telling and showing. If he's losing control, he will kill. Viewing it any other way is unrealistic, unresponsible, and out of touch with how often men kill and otherwise maim women. It's a shamefully huge figure. All of the things he's doing are the things that the killers do before they follow through with their insanity.

The question is whether or not you'll get away before things go all the way wrong. How much is your life worth? How much discomfort and embarrassment are you willing to endure and how much are you willing to walk away from to make sure you have life and your babies have you?