[caterpillar79]

Stressed, you cannot change him. Mes is right about hurrying up. Do it now for in as much as he's addicted to porn, you've got used to caving in to his abusive nature/torture.

You already have the answer, all you have to do is follow through. You can.

[sourpuss]

Alright! So here's what we do.

We leave this man, learn from the relationship, have a fantastic wonderful amazing holiday at home with the family, and then we start life fresh.

You're young, you're sensible, you're attractive... He doesn't deserve you, and you don't deserve all this mental pain.

Go and have fun, enjoy being single for a while, do crazy things with your girlfriends, and then find a man who actually deserves you.

It ain't this guy...

Yes. I wish she would listen to us.

[caterpillar79]

And really listen to what the rational part of her heart says as well.

[rcoreyus]

I think it has reached the point where arguments aren't important. He's probably addicted, he's not caring, he doesn't take care of your needs in bed, etc. You don't need to find an excuse for why you should leave. You are unhappy with him - there is nothing holding you there. Go to your parents for a while (they will understand), and find someone who treats you well.

There are really nice, loving men (and women) out there - you really don't need to settle for less.

Is funny, I know a number of people (of both genders) in unfair, unbalanced relationships where one partner is taking advantage of the other. I always wish that the "nice" members of these couples could get together and dump the jerks.

[Mes T]

I always wish that the "nice" members of these couples could get together and dump the jerks.

Hear hear!

[Guest]

Have you discussed about a possible couples' sex therapy or maybe on an individual basis? He is not listening to you, and if you keep doing what you do, you'll push him away even more.

Given his behavior, what makes you think he'd go to therapy?

The woman doesn't sound like she needs therapy, it sounds like she needs to lay down the law, or leave this man.

[sourpuss]

Sadly, it doesn't sound like she's anywhere near ready to leave. So sad.

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[sourpuss]

*sigh*
Sorry stressed. I hope one day that you love yourself enough to find the strength to leave this man. I really do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I just haven't learnt everything about him yet and I should find the right approach to make him open up. That maybe he needs a push. I don't know.

Actually, we learn in the first few months. When they let their guard down, their true colours come out. Then we go into denial. Because, we "think" we can change them, in your words " make him open up"...

It's a bit like a fishing rod, he's realing you in, giving you the words you need, then he'll let go and then real you in again..

You said yourself, he won't leave you, he doesn't have to, he's being looked after...

Go away and think longer.

Denial.
Denial.
Denial.

And, often unfortunately, people don't leave until they take a look and it turns to "distaste", eweee, can't fathom him even touching me...

Men are smart, "sex", that's what she is after, sex... there you go, now I've done it... things will be fine for a while.. phew....

Enjoy your holidays and have a real good think about who you are sweet and what you want out of life and stop trying to "save" someone and make them into what you want them to be... It's not going to work..

They are who they are and revert straight back to that person... That will be your next post.. Darn, he went straight back to what I was complaining about as soon as I got home

CW