[chaya]

I'm fine, I'll post soon. Kiyomi just got home with Misako. Everything is ok, I hope.

[Patti-here]

I'm fine, I'll post soon. Kiyomi just got home with Misako. Everything is ok, I hope.

Oh, thank goodness, we were about you Hon.

[atskitty2]

Good to hear Chaya, we'll keep looking for your update.

[Patti-here]

Oh, thank goodness, we were about you Hon.

Sorry, that should have 'worried about you'

[jen1447]

See, she was equal to the task. Never had a doubt!

[chaya]

When he got home I was crying so much he was holding me trying to comfort me. I told him I had been sleeping with Kiyomi while he was gone. When he didn't get mad I told him we were having sex. He doesn't consider it sex when 2 women sleep together. To him sex requires penetration by a male. I was so confused I kept asking him if he was mad. He kept saying no, all the time he was hugging and kissing me.

We went upstairs and had sex, many times during the night, I had my first orgasms with him in over a year. We slept for a while and did it again this morning. He had to go to work, just before he left I asked him again if he was mad at me or Kiyomi for sleeping together. He said no and he should thank Kiyomi for "fixing" me so I could enjoy sex again. This is so unexpected, I can't help but wonder if maybe he is pretending not to be mad and will retaliate later.

When Kiyomi came home with my daughter, I told her what had happened. She is still scared and don't want to be here when he gets home. I've been trying to convince her he is not mad, but I'm not completely convinced myself. Anyway, she has 2 classes today and went to school.

I'm think that telling him just made things worse. What am I going to do now? I need to be alone to think and meditate but Misako is here and will be awake all day.

[Stillness]

Maybe he knew or suspected something already.

[Patti-here]

When he got home I was crying so much he was holding me trying to comfort me. I told him I had been sleeping with Kiyomi while he was gone. When he didn't get mad I told him we were having sex. He doesn't consider it sex when 2 women sleep together. To him sex requires penetration by a male. I was so confused I kept asking him if he was mad. He kept saying no, all the time he was hugging and kissing me.

We went upstairs and had sex, many times during the night, I had my first orgasms with him in over a year. We slept for a while and did it again this morning. He had to go to work, just before he left I asked him again if he was mad at me or Kiyomi for sleeping together. He said no and he should thank Kiyomi for "fixing" me so I could enjoy sex again. This is so unexpected, I can't help but wonder if maybe he is pretending not to be mad and will retaliate later.

When Kiyomi came home with my daughter, I told her what had happened. She is still scared and don't want to be here when he gets home. I've been trying to convince her he is not mad, but I'm not completely convinced myself. Anyway, she has 2 classes today and went to school.

I'm think that telling him just made things worse. What am I going to do now? I need to be alone to think and meditate but Misako is here and will be awake all day.

Honey I think things are gonna be ok now, he may see the error in his ways..

[effy2014]

Thinking about whether or not you should have told him is a time waster. You did and need to move forward.

It could be that he doesn't not consider sex with a woman to be cheating. I think many men would not consider it "sex" in the traditional sense and he probably does not think that he is competing Kiyomi for your affections, true or not.

My suspicion is that he will be very accepting so long as you continue to have frequent sex and orgasms with him. This is a more misogynistic view -- you have become the lesbian sex scene in his personal porn. You are now a more sexual being. What this does to your overall relationship is anyone's guess.

[rcoreyus]

I don't claim its rational, but I would view my wife having sex with another woman very differently from her having sex with another man. It really wouldn't bother me at all, while sex with another man would bother me some.

It is quite possibly your husband is completely telling the truth and he really doesn't have any problem with your having sex with Kyomi. I think you should believe him.

Now you need to talk with him. If he really doesn't mind at all, is it OK for you to keep sleeping with Kyomi? Is that an OK solution for you and Kyomi - is sex enough, or are either of you looking for an exclusive relationship? Does your husband imagine that he will be invited to join you?

This is all good news, it sounds like no one got hurt. I don't see how it made anything worse.