[CHANDLERS WISH]

LOL... You grow on me Cassie........

Good then ask what happens if your still married and heaven forbid something happens with Dad....

And, goodness woman your 41, the day has come that you stand on your own two feet and not worry about what your "Dad" thinks, guess what? It's actually your life now, stand tall... This is the reason why you ended with this guy, you still fear and so you are in-secure and I have seen your photo your pretty about time you realised same.

If you split the bills then he can claim back on Dad's house, so go seek and you shall find.

[cassie66]

i guess ive always been worried what people think of me. im not perfect, no one is, im good hearted, generous and honest and would do anhything for anyone
yes my dad still says today im too soft and just like my mum wouldnt say boo to a goose
im more introvert that extrovert.
i am scred of what dad would say, cos i know id get a lecture, and do anything to avoid a scene i hate confrontation i just want a quiet life
id like my own busieness, a livery stables/animal sanctuary then id be in my element
everytime i mention my dreams etc to dad, all i always get is your living in a dream world, that sort of thing isnt for the likes of us

you like my pic? really? im just ordinary. i did some modelling at 21. must be my height, im 6ft 1in. hubby calls me thunder thighs which he knows i hate i find it very offensive. i know ive gained a little weight, but im not that bad, i gave up my stable job to be with rik (hubby) and now instead od excersice ive been looking after house and him.

im not sure what i can claim really, i cannot claim back bills etc

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Thunder Thighs actually is a compliment oh yeah baby, women with thighs are to die for just look at Beyonce? And, 6ft 1? whoo hoo that's also a man's dream.

It is understandable that your Dad is living in the "old world", and so he sees things such as dreams as well dreams... But they are not Cassie if you want them to be reality I am living proof..

I just sold my dream to the Devil haha, that being that I decided that I could do this on my own and guess what? I can and not only can I but the moment I told people I could? They listed with me.... I am a Real Estate Agent.

My parents are old fashioned and often they did what your Dad is doing, that stopped the day I said " I can" and as a result they know " I will" and as such they accept...

The old world is hard because your parents went through hard times and so they expect nothing has changed, you can change the World if you really want... You can be whom ever you want, that is why I am saying to you BE and stop living in your Dad's shadow because your not a kid anymore rather an Adult that can make her own decisions...

You have to say NO, actually I CAN and you have to say DAD, I love you but this is my life and watch me, cause i will prove you wrong then you need to look in that mirror and say DAD it's over, it's my life now and wow I am 6ft tall, beautiful, bootiful and a real woman with passion, watch me. And BELIEVE..

Do it daily Cassie DO IT

[cassie66]

my dad is very old fashioned and weas very strict when i lived at home it was all none of that undder my roof and you ahve to be in bed by 9pm and elbows off the table and you cannot leave until all food is eaten or it was returned again and again

my dad has mellowed a little since my mum dies, but i never felt close to him as he usedf to shout and hit me
i was a very shy child and never had any freinds.

i dnt take any notice of my dad, i know what i wnat, mny dreams etc when he goes on one of his rants about when i was lad etc i just roll my eyes and dnt say anything
he still talks about the war and rationing and food wastage
he has no mod cons, no heating original sash windows etc no microwave pc or dvd player
they had me late in life an only child



i will post a pic of hubby on my profile, im ther only person who thinks he is good looking maybe im blnd see what you think he is 10 yrs my junior

[CHANDLERS WISH]

HAHA..

OKAY.,. well again it's your Dad's influence that is keeping you there but you know you want to go one day soon..

You are good looking, you have a good body and you are tall...

You have a heart, you have brains and you love sex to it's entirety and so.....you will find again, just ensure you dont' settle again, think bad about yourself as Dad has made you feel, he loves you in his own way just doesn't understand love himself rather he works, and a woman cleans and cooks....

Recognise that?

xx

[Guest]

we have only managed sex once in the last week.
he either cannot get hard, says he s not in the mood, or some other complaint examples are feel sick, bad back, shoulder sore headache etc

he also says the reason he cant get hard is cos i have wore him out lol talk about sex to often try and gra him to much jump on him so soon after he has woke up(he says he needs an hour to come round before i talk about/touch him parts etc

he gets angry now says i am only after sex not true
i have a very high sex drive yes i do talk about sex in the day but in a fun way he says he s so sick of it and he know s i want sex and i dont have to keep on about it
says im putting so much presssure on him to perform thats why he cant. is he right? he never used to have this prob

he also has a phobia about oral iehe wont hasnt never will!he always wants me tive hm the full works buti never get a return
he just says oral and fingering makes him feel sick and turns him off hee said oral is immoral dirty and wrong

every time he turns me down i get a tear i my eye.if he sees mecrying he says its emotional blackmail its not i cannot hep it i feel rejected

we have been over all this and talked makes no diff saysits myy fault for too much pressure nowhe rarely gets hard and 8 times out of ten he cant clmax either says he has to use his hand!
he will not watch porn either says is degrading

who s in the wrong and right here?

Have you considered the age factor? Testosterone levels start to go down as guys get older. Everyone is different.Age also means less energy in general for men.You definitely have a lot more sex drive than my wife did at your age.
Once a week was fine for both of us at your age.But even to this date, if we
were in the mood at different times, we had an agreement that either the other would sacrifice and take care of the other person or let the other person masturbate if they wanted to.If you hubby is losing his drive because of age, you might consider buying a toy for yourself and have him use it on you and/or have a talk with him and ask him if you can use it alone.This is the
agreement my wife and I set up so we are always satisfied no matter who is in the mood.Try it out

[cassie66]

cw
thanks yeah i do
i always thought i was careful not to fall for the wrong man
hubby has never helped with housework, although if anyone asks he says he do
his idea of helping is cleaning the fishtank. when i ask him to help he says he is busy he just sits on pc he was on a train game this morn

he has gone to work YIPPEE lol sorry couldnt help myself
i hope he stays there too

the average man
i dnt think age has anything to do with it, surely he is at his peak? he has sex issues ans phobias and refuses to even consider getting therapy

[Guest]

Oh.. I see. Well I know that I started to slow down in my early to mid 40's. I hope you guys get all fixed up and have a lot of fun soon If he refuses to go
to therapy,let me know and I will personally pm you so that he can read what I have to say to him!
I'm reading your original post and I just like to say that for years, I wasn't very good at sex. I was ok but my wife and I got into a rut when it came to our sex.Then I decided to make it my job to give her orgasms that would make her climb the walls. I did all kinds of reading and learned all about women's hot spot and when and what to do in foreplay.Now, with the way she reacts, I think I got pretty good in bed.
I think it was the attitude change. I started to make it my job to forget about myself and put all my energy into pleasing her. As a result, how do I put this? Well let's just say that I end up feeling much better than I used to. And also,when we are not in the bed, during the day, she is always in a much better mood all the time!
As far as house work is concerned,men do not like to do anything in the house. We will cut the grass, check the cars,and take out the garbage but that is it. Recently my wife got real angry at me and felt like I wasn't helping her out. So she forced me, by always being a i terrible mood and yelling at me. So know she gave me three things to do.Everyday,I have to sweep the whole house,make sure there are no dished in the sink when she gets home, and can you believe it.I can't remember what the third thing she wants me to do
But in my reading and as myself as an example,I can say that the average man does not like to do house work,does no house work,but if nagged to will
temporarily help out in the house

[WildChild]

You know AM, you're unusual. Most guys just blow it off and disregard what the woman wants or needs and then blame her for being demanding or needy. If both (or everyone - if you're poly) would take your attitude there would be a lot more good relationships. But as we see on here too many take the everyone for themselves attitude. We have women who don't like like doing this and that (not kinky stuff - just plain basic sex really) and women who have men like Cassies hubby who thinks touching her is gross and no one is happy in those situations.

[cassie66]

i have gtalked to him so much about his sex issues its no good he refuses point blank to touch me he has never ever done it says its disgusting and makes him want to heave and thats just a finger! im uploaded a pic of him its on my profile