[cassie66]

aroommate isnt an option as this house s rented hubbys and my nameon lease we re not allowedto sublet

wildchild
i hear what your saying, and im not making excuses, at themoment i do not have the resources to move let alone any supprt i couldnot afford a removal van or a bond/depeosit for a new place andno one wouldlet me rent without a job

i amworking on a plan, to get a job and save.

[Guest]

doesnt your town have womens shelters you can go to?

[cassie66]

ive no idea

[WildChild]

I'm in property managament, of course it's in another country, but in general what we care about is having good tenants who will pay their rent and not devalue the property. People do split up, roommates do go their separate ways and if you found a another person to move in, my guess is they would be happy to modify the lease or rental contract rather than find a new tenant.

Shelters are generally for those in immediate danger if they stay where they are, you probably aren't in that catagory. Make your exit plan and stick with it. Put a time frame to it, set a date for yourself to be free, set some bench marks, have a job of any type by a certain date. There should be no reason for you to move, if as you say most of the household goods are yours and you paid the deposit. When you are ready, put his shoes out the door so to speak. Let HIM deal with finding a place to live.

[cassie66]

i hear what you are saying, i will stick to a plan, andput alittlemoney aside eachweek and open another bank account, and put it in there when he is back at work

[CHANDLERS WISH]

And, so I go away and so do you hey Cassie?

How's it been going..... I see 20 days have passed since you made your last comment and I'm banking on the fact that you set your page to receive messages when they come in...

So..... let me know... been thinking of you.

CW

[cassie66]

hello cw
things have been a nightmare since i last chatted. i wasnt ignoring everytone, the pc broke we had no money so we had to wait until he got a old one to fix only got a pc satday and only just had chance to piut all my stuff on
im been wanting to chat to you for ages but coiuldnt

i dnt know where to start he has been really bad of late
he is due back to work this wed fingers crossed
we are so broke now, got electirc and gas bills cos he has been off sdo long, we cant pay them, no money for his petrol to get him to wrok either so he keeps saying have tyo use the savings

he had a really bad tantrum a week ago, threatened to divorce me and live with his mum
it all strated over nothing he was fixing pc which was broke and kept saying u have a diff comp i said im ok with this one anyway he went off in a huff and got worse by later, his car had broke he thought it was cam belt and as we broke said i have to pay for ut 800 quid! i said i dnt have that miuch and he gt all shirty anyway it wasnt cam belt phew jyst spark plugs
he had a freind of his mum a mechanic look at it and did a service anyway he charged him 300! not sure whn he will get paid
so he was funny al night and had me in tears
i know he didnt mean it maybe i wish he had
he was so nasty to me
i asked him for a hug and he jyust kept saying i dnt want to leave me alone he went off for a walk alone for over an hour threatened to sleep in car etc acted totally childish
my lunchtime following daY i managed to get him to say sorry thin g is he keeps repeating it.

he was horrid yesterday too just moody the most ridiculous thing, i cooked tea and got knife and fork to cut my potatoes as u do, and he started ranting that i was making a noise ans deliberatly screeching the plate with my fork! i couildnt help it, he went mad, saying the screcchingnoise was going throught him! how silly.
we have had sex once since last sdpoke as usual he just got on top, rammed it in fort 2 mins that was it

still no foreplay ive given up asking. its latest excuse is he is sore, he haS cuts etc he has been saying thaT a lot lately ive never seen any cuts on his foreskin excues i think
im goig out of my mind
dnt know how we gunna pay bills

his latest hair brained scheme is to see if he can bypass the water/gas/electric meters lol as if
also he was reading online that someone had claimed back there credit card cahrges/bills etc so he istrying to see if he can claim, but you have to get a solicitor first tyo look at credit agreement etc and that would cost

ive managed to save £600 he desnt know about its still in my handbag im hoping to pout it in back if he is back in work wed

im so stressed, iv e shed so many tears and gone through so mnay emotions ive applied for lots of jobs so far nothing

im at my wts end and scared what mood he will be in this morning you never know
when he is on pc, and i speak he goes mental saying shut up im reading
help

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I do love it when you say lol... at least you somehow are staying sane hey !

ive managed to save £600 he desnt know about its still in my handbag im hoping to pout it in back if he is back in work wed

No, no, no, no..... what do you mean put it back in? Is that what you are saying so if he goes back to work and brings in some money you will but that in to pay bills?

My darlin child.... well we are simular in age but you know what I mean... I know you want so much for happiness but we've been here way many times huh... So, you keep that in that account it does not exist... okay... It is for you one day when you say WT that's it..

And, you add to it.

Look... you know he has paranoid fears, so now it's a tear in his little thing that lasts 2 minutes quick in and out, he feels better you don't...

I sound cruel but hey, I am me I say what i think and i don't intend to change any time soon.

Sooo.... you should have said "Divorce me" when he threatened... You would do good for him going back to his Mum but I know, I know, it's about debt also and you can't yet survive on your own.

But you need to understand that $600 quid is a start to your new future so please, please don't let me down and keep that to yourself and do not use it for bills...

You may be suprised when he realises that you can't dig him out this hole this time, that he finds a way maybe through his Mother?

Time to play and he can't stay (forever)...

What are you holding onto woman?

CW

[cassie66]

i wont let him have my £600 i promise. his wages will be low again when he gets paID on the 2nd april def not enough to cover rent, council tax, food bills etc not sure how we going to pay, but he is not having my 600. no one knows about it well you do now lol

its not enough though yet, i need more, i ned to bide my time ands wait without a job/large sum of cash i cannot move, i cant even afford a removal van
im praying he goes back to work wed. his back is much better. not heard results from his scan. if it was that bad, im sure hospiotal would hav been in touch by now
i can only get on here when he not in the room so please bare with me

you know the other night when he was acting up and i was cryinh agIN, 2 of my kids noticed ans said mum, why did you marry him? good question, i thought i loved him and he was my dream man.

the more he is nasty to me, like refuses to hold.hug kiss me the more i feel loathing for him

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yeah i know sweet.

Well don't worry if you can't reply I am back so you know you can write when you can and I will be here ok...

I am soooo pleased to hear you will hold onto that money and not give in, let's face it, it's going to be bloody tough for you with bills but you need to also see, that you are hiding money for you, even your kids see it as in what the hey... So it will work eventually through more hard times but at least you are working towards tomorrow.

Expect that he will give you a hard time, over you not having any money to help him ok, but you keep playing that game ok.

Okay so to your jobs, cleaning, kitchen hand, what's the resume say"?

Lets have a look at what your using ..

Prob is that once you get a job he will use that too against you... So how can you start pretending that you need to walk daily or go somewhere on your own, and start getting out, so when you work he doesn't know?

CW