[rachelatl]

I can so relate to this. My hubby has a pretty low sex drive compared to mine. But just tell him how you feel if you haven't already. Also, my husband never liked going down on me. He told me that it's just unnatural. I didn't believe that for a second... and it really hurt my feelings that he didn't want to do that.. so I told him how I felt and now he's been doing it and he's almost learned to like it. Anyway, my advice is just clean really good down below, shave, pat on some baby powder to freshen it up. Sounds silly, but it works =] Good luck!

[buddy]

Anyway, my advice is just clean really good down below, shave, pat on some baby powder to freshen it up. Sounds silly, but it works =] Good luck!

I have to agree, clean shaven is definately the way to go!

[cassie66]

thanks all, yes he does hold me and cuddle me, but some nights he says he wants to be left alone and not touched, whch in turn upsets me, as if we cant have sex, id like a cuddle, most nights we cuddle, he can be a very stubborn man and it drives me nuts
we didnt do it last night, he said he was tired and had back ache. soi am a little upset yet again.
he also has a prob with kissing, he likes quick pecks where i like long passionate snogs, he doesnt like that either and refuses to do french kissing says anything with tonguesis disgusting

he d never use my toy on me. says toys and oral make him feel sick. ive tried in a niceway to talk about his fear of touching and oral, he just says he s never done it and never will for him its a turn off.
he s only 32 and agood looking man i cannt help it if i see him in instantly horny, yet he is not. he just seems to have a lot of excuses these days. says things on hs mind.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweet.....

What is his problem? In togetherness, you work towards pleasing each other... Sure, you have to compromise on some things, but seriously?

You have to be joking... Kissing passionately is disgusting?

Do you seriously think you can change this man?

I am starting to think that is not sex that you want and are yearning for rather, INTIMACY , PASSION, LUST, LOVE.

A man who doesn't kiss a woman ahhhh don't go there... I have been there, "when you are good" WT? Good at what haha.. I could have been had he had let me... rather, i also snuck into a better not be me, seeing as he's a Woman hater as they all cheated or what ever..

Look you can't CHANGE a person, you simply cant..

If you are not happy, don't compromise, don't be what you are not. You owe it to yourself to be YOU... Simple.

And, then you will find someone whom likes you and you can be as dirty and sexy and alive as you want to be because, it is you they like..

What your man is doing is disgusting, he has issues, he has major problems...

Kissing is part of our every day life... It is part of passion and love and expressing and showing what we feel.

PFTTTTT


CW

[cassie66]

i used to think it was me, but im not so sure. i love passionate kisses butwehen i try to kiss hm he pulls away after a few secs and says either that l do or u know i cant breathe for long when you do that.

when i first met him he claimed to be as horny as me, i nowknow that it not true. he says i need a drug to calmmy sex drive! that is upsettng.
i know before me he hadnt had many gfs and he dated a girl for 4 ys who refused him sex, so he used his hand 4 times a day he even said sometimes his hand is better than i! thats an insult. i did tell hm making love is a 2 way thing about gving and receving, im doing all the giving (when he l let me) he just said if you dont like it you know where the door is! im a loss over what to do.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

know before me he hadn't had many gfs and he dated a girl for 4 ys who refused him sex, so he used his hand 4 times a day he even said sometimes his hand is better than i! that's an insult.

Do you believe that? This is a man who says that kissing is gross, oral is gross, yet he can masturbate on his own, 4 times a day. Man, if my man did that, I'd be like wow, I reckon i can change his mind to 2 and 2 with me... See what I mean? Doesn't make sense.

Or he thinks women are shirt... That's the other side. Happy to do it alone, but you women are shirt... It is disgusting to kiss, oral, or sex, ...... Let me be.

Then he has issues does he not?

he just said if you don't like it you know where the door is!

I beg your pardon?

Well Cassie, walk.

I know your holding on with dear life, but you aren't seeing what he is saying..

He is disrespecting you... Cuddles are non intimate. Non-kissing are non intimate. Oral is non intimate.. All on sexual basis.

Ok.. So was he like this from day dot? Do you know that he had relations before you and know that as a fact?

I dont' want to really say what I am thinking at this stage.


CW

[Guest]

Wow, the more you tell the more this fellow of yours seems to be a real bore when it comes to these things!

Like I said earlier tho, something could be on his mind, he told you that, and you don't know want it is

On the other hand tho you also said he's pretty much been this way since day 1.

I'm thinking, If I was ever told you know where the door is and I knew he was serious, I think I would take him up on it. Sounds like a pretty bold statement!

Are you thinking this? What will you do now? Maybe counsel would help, you think it would?

[cassie66]

he was pretty horrid thgis morning. i went upstairs and i neve said one word and hee looked at me and said harshly no! no your not having it!thats all you think about i hadnt spoken one word!

[cassie66]

he was complaining about backache again not sure if i beleive him. i had tears in my eyes he told me to go watch tv! its very hurtful he also has a lot of phobia s to one is the dentist he needs sedating. he also only has ashave every 10 days and washes his hair and showers once a month! he never has a bath! the onlytime he washes his bits is when he showers ie once a month! and he has the nerve to say i smell! i dont!

[WildChild]

Could it be a control issue? It's something you want very much, you only want it from him. Of course in a marriage or committted relationship that's where you are supposed to get it. I'm dealing with it too, although mine's not a marriage but a fairly young relationship.

In my youth (you are still there- your youth, not mine) I bought the idea that men have a higher sex drive than women and thought I must just be a sort of odd ball woman who had this really high drive. (Now I'm developing my conspiracy theory LOL) I'm starting to see it just taint so. Alot of women have a high drive and quite a few men have a problem with it.

Ah, new theory starting here.... here's the beginning - you're on the ground floor of this, men have been told for generations that there is something wrong with them for having these 'urges' and 'needs' which they must control or eliminate. There have apparently been plenty of women and clergy to support this idea. SOOoo holding somewhere their minds that this is some sort of dirty weakess (even if they stoutly deny that they think that way) here comes some woman who is supposed to just tollerate it and occasionally put up with it and instead she grabs him and says lets GO! Brain freeze. Can't compute. This was supposed to be a fantasy, the ever horny woman, he didn't bargain on actually having one!!! It's too much pressure and what if there really is something wrong with this?

You can see what a quandry he's in! If it's wrong for him and You are supposed to being striving to achieve virgin birth (it was very common in the Middle Ages, almost every unmarried woman who got pregnant was a virgin visited by a spirit, the spirits seem to have lost interest too, it just doesn't happen much these days) so what does your high interest make you? Oh, oh, we'd better watch out they may start hunting for stakes and firewood. (actually I think they are in some parts of the worlds and that's not a joke)

I don't know what to do about it, but having been there in a marriage as well, I agree its the pits. But this idea that it's all nasty or ugly is beyond a lack of interest or libido. I'd walk on that one.