[cassie66]

well he stopped been sick at 10pm last night his backache is back once he has physio im hopinghe l be ok.
even beforeall his probs he still has the sex issues i have to deal with

[CHANDLERS WISH]

well he stopped been sick at 10pm last night his backache is back once he has physio im hopinghe l be ok.
even beforeall his probs he still has the sex issues i have to deal with

Well, take the back aches, physio, pain, pain killers, being sick, aside.....

Somehow..

You seem very, very desperate to have sex with your husband...........

I just want to say to you, that if it's so that you can conceive, have a think, real think, because sweet, he may not be able to work as I said, you say finances are tough now, they will be worse with a baby..

Is this the real reason for your anxiety?

It's not that you want sex because either, you badly want sex, or because you love your huband but because you want a baby?

I'm just trying to understand a bit more, having replied to this thread a few times, suggesting he is depressed and in pain as to giving you the reason why he can't, won't, doesn't want to whilst also reading your other threads.

CW

[cassie66]

a baby yes it is the reason i guess, time is running out, and alsoi feel iintimacy brings 2 people closer. everytime he says not now to sex,i fee rejected and unwanted, although he says im been sillyhe says he loves me and i am wanted.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey Cass...

Time isn't running out, seeing as I am 45 and another year won't hurt, let him get himself better.

I know your anxious.. Truly... But, I also know injuries, ex husband had 4 disks gone, I have 1, you truly are depressed, in pain, don't care for sex, last thing on your mind.

You being silly... If he says he loves you, give him hugs, tell him you understand the pain and that, you know he loves you.. That's more important.

If you play those cards, you can make him feel that he also wants intimacy, "love" from you, instead of sex.. Make sense?

Use reverse physcology but with honest reason... Because you love him...

It will be ok, be patient and stop your own stressing, over having a baby, finances, your own recovery from what you went through, times are tough, time for you to get tough woman.

Stand by your man, stand by your marriage, stand by yourself and know that less stress does actually mean babies, more stress won't make jack shirt happen.

Hope you love him too and can pull through this tough time, cause your original post was very much, non understanding of you or him, life as it is now.. Nothing is easy in life, unfortunately but you can work towards making it better.

CW

[cassie66]

i do love hm, but iget so frustrated at tmes, he is a very stubborn man and sometimes says things he doesnt mean,but it hurts, im a very emotional person, and sensitive.
he turned medown again this morning, says he had a bad night, says he hurts and throbs all over and didnt sleep awink.
i am been patient and trying to undertsand,it ddnt stop me getting a tear in my eye though when he said not now.

the money worries dont help, he does want to go back to work, but the doc declared him unfit.he is havingphysio next thurs. i do hope that works. he cannot stay off work indefinately.
the surgeoon who didmy op didnt think i have much chance of conceiving, that didnt exactly help mefeel better he bascially said im too old!

i got the results back yesterday fromy op, iin the clear, the cyst was benign, he declared me fit and well i have 1 ovary now, he said the rest of my bits are healthy.

[Hopeless Dork]

Cassie you tried again this morning? I think you are setting yourself up for dissapointment when you are not giving it even a few days break before attempting to get him interested in sex.

I'm not saying that to be mean, I do understand what it feels like when the guy you love isn't in the mood. Its hard not to take it personal, but if hes got all this pain and you know that hes likely not in the mood til he feels at least a little better I think its just causing you more hurt to keep at it so often.

A break from requesting or attempting will not only help ease some of his stress but will also help you from feeling dissapointed do you know what i mean?

[cassie66]

yes i know your right. yet again he has not slept, he s had 4badnights on thetrot he said he needs crutches his whole back and leg bu and foot throb and sometimeshe cannot get hs clothes on or off and i have to helphim.
i dofeel disapointed when he turns me down ad he does get grumpy at me at times. i know hes fed up been at home and wants to go back to work. ijust hope the physio on thurscures him

[mewhenim]

it's immoral to give but not to recieve?!?!?! That's crazy, unfortunatly telling him he's crazy probably won't help anything. I'd try to back off (Iknow how hard that is, I cried almost every night for a year from constantly being turned down by my husband) Get a rabbit vibe and do your best. Talking abotu it never helped me either I guess I couldn't fix my sex life so I probably can't help much with yours, but try as hard as you can to back off and masturbate like crazy!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

yes i know your right. yet again he has not slept, he s had 4badnights on thetrot he said he needs crutches his whole back and leg bu and foot throb and sometimeshe cannot get hs clothes on or off and i have to helphim.
i dofeel disapointed when he turns me down ad he does get grumpy at me at times. i know hes fed up been at home and wants to go back to work. ijust hope the physio on thurscures him

Cassie....

Sweet heart............STOP.......................Right now.........................

Let's get to the root of this problem, cause in my "opinon" and others, your NOT listening.

He can't get his clothes off, he's in that much pain, you have to help him? You hope the physio cures him... He's grumpy..

Darlin, HE IS IN PAIN..............................

You know it's not up to the Doctors, you have full bill of health, you are only 42, you CAN have another child.

Please, please, please, see what your man is going through, you are thinking of you, only you , "IN MY OPINION"....

CW

[mewhenim]

I'm one of the girls worried their sex drive is too high, and when I had my back injury I didn't want sex, and trust me hun, I ALWAYS want sex. It may also actually worson it. I know since my back injury if I have long or rough sex I hurt for several days after. Also the angle and motions involved if he's on top is definatly not good for a bad back. When you have sex next, make sure he's on the bottom.