[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Hi jns,

Thank you very much for the response. My last boyfriend did tell me I was beautiful, smart and strong for enduring what I did, but we had problems where he urged me to cut ties with my family and never talk to them again. In the end, I think he was frustrated that I was swarmed with flashbacks and nightmares on a regular basis. After living a life like that for 25 years, I don't think it's easy to wave a magic wand and say "get over it." I've only been on my own for 3 and a half years, which is like a child in pre-K. Some may wonder why did I stay so long with my parents until I was 25. It's because I was conditioned to feel like I couldn't survive on my own. I was taught to depend on my step-dad and mom, or bad things would happen to me.


It's just that when I have sex with someone else, I'm going to have to tell them all of this stuff and don't know how they would respond. This is why I don't think I can ever have sex with someone so soon, because I'm not some woman that can take rough sex on the spot. Being with a new person can cause anxiety also. My friend said "You overanalyze everything and can't relax", and I felt like she was judging me. Walk in my shoes and then tell me how it's easy to relax.

You've suffered a sexual trauma so yes I think you'll need a caring man that is patient and considerate. Well of course you can't relax you've been abused so your going to be anxious every time your in a situation the re-restimulates a situation that you remember was painful.

The good thing about having sex with women is that you don't have to worry about penetration or some man entering you.

Yes I suppose your not exposed with a penis that is hurting you, but a penis can also be very pleasurable if it is used the right way.
To experience an orgasm a man shouldn't penetrate UNTIL a women is ready, that means a lot of caresssing and patience which not too many men are able to do naturally, one has to force it to happen, but when and if a man can control the urge to penetrate the pleasure is indescribable

Find the right man first.

I think some men feel threated by the power of a womens sexuality, it affects their ego.

If your not getting what you want stuff it - get what you want - life is too short to live a life of disappointing sex.

But don't do anything that is really hurting you underneath, we can all be consumed by our own vices.

[Magnetism]

Yes I suppose your not exposed with a penis that is hurting you, but a penis can also be very pleasurable if it is used the right way.
To experience an orgasm a man shouldn't penetrate UNTIL a women is ready, that means a lot of caresssing and patience which not too many men are able to do naturally, one has to force it to happen, but when and if a man can control the urge to penetrate the pleasure is indescribable

Find the right man first.

I think some men feel threated by the power of a womens sexuality, it affects their ego.

If your not getting what you want stuff it - get what you want - life is too short to live a life of disappointing sex.

But don't do anything that is really hurting you underneath, we can all be consumed by our own vices.

Thanks for your response, but my child sexual abuse experience wasn't physically painful. It didn't involve penetration, but other sexual acts. It was definitely emotionally painful obviously, but my first painful sexual experience occurred when I was older, which was due to a lack of foreplay and physiological arousal.


From what I hear from other women, there are a lot of nice men that are patient and will worship your body. It's all a matter of finding them.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Thanks for your response, but my child sexual abuse experience wasn't physically painful. It didn't involve penetration, but other sexual acts. It was definitely emotionally painful obviously, but my first painful sexual experience occurred when I was older, which was due to a lack of foreplay and physiological arousal.


From what I hear from other women, there are a lot of nice men that are patient and will worship your body. It's all a matter of finding them.

I'm sure there is somebody for you and I also think its no easy task to find the right person but if your patient and canvass enough men you should find what your looking for.

I wish sometimes I could put my headspace into your next bf because I'm sure I could resolve things for you in time.

I dont think its a bad thing to have a long break between partners but in some ways its a waste of time.

Have a relationship with a guy but don't have sex unless you feel he's the right guy.

Goodluck !!(Actually its never about luck you have to make your luck !!)

[sdmc6969]

I love women who are sexual. I think women are to oppressed regarding sex. I wish my wife was more comfortable talking about sexuality but she's not. I'm sure it has to do with her upbringing. In my opinion men who don't like it have some sort of hang up themselves.

[Libbie]

My father preached to me all my teenage years about the "dangers" of sex and if I ever came home pregnant he would disown me. I lost the love of my life at 19 and vowed I would live life to the full, so I had my first sexual encounter and got pregnant. The father of my child immediately disowned her and me so we were left on our own. Ever since I have always felt pressured to have sex even when I was married. I recently left my husband of 28 years and now all I can think about is sex. I bought myself a vibrator and for the first time in my life I have had an organism and I feel I'm ready for the next stage of my life. I'm now 51 years of age so my point is life is too short, make yourself happy and forget about other people's opinions

[Lovcookie]

Love a sexual woman and one who is not afraid to talk about and show it. Much better then a woman who thinks sex starts with the mans efforts. I have been with both types and I would rather be with someone with your sexual nature hands down.

[Ed29]

When I was a teenager and in my early 20's I would say that no guys I knew would not want a highly sexed girl for a long term relationship. However, that changes when we get in our 30's. I'm 50 now and I would say from then until now, my desires have completely reversed. Maturity brings the realization that sexual, sensual women, who can express their desires and actively pursue them, are the greatest gift to men on this earth. Be who you are, express yourself and I"m sure there are plenty of men who will not only want you but worship you.

[Magnetism]

^Interesting. I'm changing my views on dating men years older than me. It seems like men older than me are more understanding, accepting and are aware of how to warm a woman up. By older, I mean someone at least 35+. I'm sure exceptions exist, but this seems to be the case as I meet more people of all ages. If you met me last year, I was dead against touching that age range. The males and females that have such views towards sex are the ones in their 20's. After 30, who has the time to gossip and care?

[Ed29]

After 30, who has the time to gossip and care?[/QUOTE]

Exactly!!

[Hopeless Dork]

There are definitely men (of EVERY culture) that will judge a woman for being sexual. Those are NOT the men you or any sexual women should involve or concern themselves with anyway. Small-minded men do not make great partners, not sexually, not intimately, not as general companions