To Obelisk, I say: ****** man, I do not know what to say about your prospect on long-term relationships.
I mean in my case I want it all: picket fence, children, the whole nine. Although I am more of an Audi man; there is something about Volvo as a car that just does not sit right with me.
I think that to create is in man’s nature and having children is the epitome of what man is capable of “creating”. Nurturing them and watching them grow. And, if you do a good enough job, maybe they will have the decency to burry your sorry *** when you are dead.
I am basically looking for a woman with whom I can create this kind of life with. My issue is that I do not want her to settle for me. I do not want her to see me as the as-good-as-it-gets-guy. And these thoughts lead, inevitably, to the issue of the penis size. Maybe it is a guy thing. Maybe it is the thought that “everything else about me, I can work on but my penis I was born with. Will she still be able to stand me or love me even if I fall into the ‘below-average category?’”. Maybe I have read one to many posts about women who after more than 10 years of marriage and at least two children, tell their husbands something along the lines of “I love you but you simply do not satisfy me sexually any more”. I would not want to find out that my wife has been “putting up” with me during all this time. I think we as humans are more prepared to fall short when it comes to personality traits rather than physical traits. Tell a man he sucks at engaging in conversation and he will shrug his shoulders. Tell him his penis is too small (or below average) and he might hang himself. Call a girl a ***** and she might take it as you feeling threatened by her confidence. Call her fat or flat chested and she will *****-slap you.
The argument of not wanting them to go through what you had to endure is not a good one, in my opinion. It is your job as a parent to create a better environment for them than the one you grew up in. You should understand that every parent does the best with what they have. Just because yours did a less than satisfactory job does not mean you should not try. I am sure even the children with the “best” parents have things to complain about regarding their upbringing.
I have seen couples that never had any children. I do not know if the reason was that they could not or that they simply did not want to. From my point of view though, these couples do not seem as close to each other as couples that do have children. Some might argue that not having children lets you spend more time together. I think that there is such a thing as spending too much time together. I think that children can constitute a common project for the couple to focus their energy on.
Sure, there are those couples that never have children and are very happy together. But, out of the 6 child-less couples I know, only one seems to fit that category. I am not saying that the other five couples are unable to stand each other. But to me at least, it feels as though they are not smiling as frequently as all those who do have children. A friend of mine had triplets (!) a year ago. He and his wife have not been able to get a good night’s sleep since. If you ask him, he would not change it for the world. And to think that they were not even planning to have children; they were both in the process of achieving their master’s degree. Instead, he had to put his education on hold and find a job and a bigger house.
I do not think the “mistakes” your parents made when raising you should cripple your choices regarding your future. My parents divorced when I was around 10. Although they divorced for their own reasons and their decision had nothing to do with me, I sure think my father could have done much more to stay in my life. Maybe because of that, I cannot imagine not being in my children’s life. I also refuse to let some other man raise my children, which makes me “less willing” to give my future wife a reason to divorce my ***.
I mean in my case I want it all: picket fence, children, the whole nine. Although I am more of an Audi man; there is something about Volvo as a car that just does not sit right with me.
I think that to create is in man’s nature and having children is the epitome of what man is capable of “creating”. Nurturing them and watching them grow. And, if you do a good enough job, maybe they will have the decency to burry your sorry *** when you are dead.
I am basically looking for a woman with whom I can create this kind of life with. My issue is that I do not want her to settle for me. I do not want her to see me as the as-good-as-it-gets-guy. And these thoughts lead, inevitably, to the issue of the penis size. Maybe it is a guy thing. Maybe it is the thought that “everything else about me, I can work on but my penis I was born with. Will she still be able to stand me or love me even if I fall into the ‘below-average category?’”. Maybe I have read one to many posts about women who after more than 10 years of marriage and at least two children, tell their husbands something along the lines of “I love you but you simply do not satisfy me sexually any more”. I would not want to find out that my wife has been “putting up” with me during all this time. I think we as humans are more prepared to fall short when it comes to personality traits rather than physical traits. Tell a man he sucks at engaging in conversation and he will shrug his shoulders. Tell him his penis is too small (or below average) and he might hang himself. Call a girl a ***** and she might take it as you feeling threatened by her confidence. Call her fat or flat chested and she will *****-slap you.
The argument of not wanting them to go through what you had to endure is not a good one, in my opinion. It is your job as a parent to create a better environment for them than the one you grew up in. You should understand that every parent does the best with what they have. Just because yours did a less than satisfactory job does not mean you should not try. I am sure even the children with the “best” parents have things to complain about regarding their upbringing.
I have seen couples that never had any children. I do not know if the reason was that they could not or that they simply did not want to. From my point of view though, these couples do not seem as close to each other as couples that do have children. Some might argue that not having children lets you spend more time together. I think that there is such a thing as spending too much time together. I think that children can constitute a common project for the couple to focus their energy on.
Sure, there are those couples that never have children and are very happy together. But, out of the 6 child-less couples I know, only one seems to fit that category. I am not saying that the other five couples are unable to stand each other. But to me at least, it feels as though they are not smiling as frequently as all those who do have children. A friend of mine had triplets (!) a year ago. He and his wife have not been able to get a good night’s sleep since. If you ask him, he would not change it for the world. And to think that they were not even planning to have children; they were both in the process of achieving their master’s degree. Instead, he had to put his education on hold and find a job and a bigger house.
I do not think the “mistakes” your parents made when raising you should cripple your choices regarding your future. My parents divorced when I was around 10. Although they divorced for their own reasons and their decision had nothing to do with me, I sure think my father could have done much more to stay in my life. Maybe because of that, I cannot imagine not being in my children’s life. I also refuse to let some other man raise my children, which makes me “less willing” to give my future wife a reason to divorce my ***.
Get The Newsletter
Comment