[Obelisk]

I should note that the post was not a reply to me, but actually to someone else. There's a lot of guys going thru this, I'm not the only one.

[somerandomguy]

You can find posts supporting just about anything on the internet. If you look for posts by women who care about size, you will find them. If you look for men who have been dumped for better endowed men, you will find them. Doesn't mean it is the majority.

Lots of couples (including my wife and I) use sex toys without any negative impact on the relationship. We have several toys. Her favorite is modest sized, but there is a big one that she likes sometimes - and one that is too big for her to enjoy, and some very small ones for anal. She still prefers intercourse with me to any of the toys - they are just for variety, or if I finish first. She has strong kegal muscles so can be very tight for me. Think about it - if using a dildo made a woman too loose, no one could ever enjoy sex with a woman who had given birth. We have a very varied and enjoyable sex life (except she hates doing oral). Her most intense orgasms are not from a dildo, or intercourse, but from me using fingers. Intense though is not the same as enjoyable.

Yes, a woman should do things to please her man - each should be doing whatever they can to please the other.

Still, the toys are for her pleasure. You said that your wife dislikes oral sex; do you mean giving it, receiving it or both? If one removes oral sex from the picture, what else is left for the men besides cuddling and intercourse? It seems as though sex is more focused around women's pleasure given all the toys and positions and what not. One is almost lead to think that men only have one erogenous zone; "as long as they get to 'stick it in', that is all that matters to them".

About the intense orgasm not necessarily being enjoyable: Enlighten me. Who says this (source)? Isn't that just a choice of words (intense = awesome)? Sorry, I do not mean to sound rude.

When you say that "they [the sex toys] are just for variety", again they are for her variety; where is your variety? Is not the use of dildos, in a way, a way to both keep the cookie and eat it too? Or is the general attitude that men should not feel envious/threatened by a dildo since it is not a real person? That kind of thinking is dangerously close to the cuckold/swinger mentality:

"It is only 'sex' what we do with other partners. When me and my husband are together, we make 'love'"
"It is fun with some variety once in a while"

Personally I see sex as the physical manifestation of the love that you feel towards each other. I am the only guy who thinks like this?

Excellent thought pattern SRG[...]

Thanks for the nick!

[rcoreyus]

Yes the toys are for her physical pleasure, but I really enjoy watching here enjoy herself. Think how many guys like porn and there they are just spectators.

She doesn't like giving BJs (sad), enjoys getting oral (but not to orgasm) and I enjoy doing it.

As far as what there is to sex - just counting physical things: intercourse of course and oral. There is also kissing licking and biting other parts of the body - its isn't just women who are aroused by contact with non-genital areas. There are all sorts of things you can do with fingers. They if you are into it, spanking, or tickling. Some some (women and men) anal stimulation on the surface or inside. There are a huge range of positions to try- and different locations in the house or outside if you like. Don't knock cuddling - its really nice to lie naked pressed up against someone - can lead to sex, or after sex, but nice on its own. There are sex toys for men, I don't personally like them, but there are lots out there.

It is my wife who says that intense and nice aren't the same. The most intense thing for her is a vibrator on her clit and fingers for g-spot stimulation. Makes her flail so much that has given herself whiplash (really). Sometimes she wants that, but not very often. Same for men - she has occasionally used a vibrator on my penis - very intense - but not really as nice as a lot of other things.

The large toy and vibrator will get her to orgasm the fastest, but she much prefers intercourse - generally only use the toys if I'm already finished.

Why on earth would I feel threatened by a piece of plastic. I don't feel threatened by horses. It is clear that she prefers me to the sex toys. Why shouldn't she have her cookie and eat it too? Cookies for everyone!

I don't see how this is in any way related to cuckolding since no other men are involved. (I have no problem with people who want that, but its not for me - or my wife).



So - STOP WORRYING. Find a nice woman who appreciates you for what you are. When you are intimate enjoy doing things that give her pleasure and hope she does the same for you. If she doesn't, then find a better lover .

Still, the toys are for her pleasure. You said that your wife dislikes oral sex; do you mean giving it, receiving it or both? If one removes oral sex from the picture, what else is left for the men besides cuddling and intercourse? It seems as though sex is more focused around women's pleasure given all the toys and positions and what not. One is almost lead to think that men only have one erogenous zone; "as long as they get to 'stick it in', that is all that matters to them".

About the intense orgasm not necessarily being enjoyable: Enlighten me. Who says this (source)? Isn't that just a choice of words (intense = awesome)? Sorry, I do not mean to sound rude.

When you say that "they [the sex toys] are just for variety", again they are for her variety; where is your variety? Is not the use of dildos, in a way, a way to both keep the cookie and eat it too? Or is the general attitude that men should not feel envious/threatened by a dildo since it is not a real person? That kind of thinking is dangerously close to the cuckold/swinger mentality:

"It is only 'sex' what we do with other partners. When me and my husband are together, we make 'love'"
"It is fun with some variety once in a while"

Personally I see sex as the physical manifestation of the love that you feel towards each other. I am the only guy who thinks like this?



Thanks for the nick!

[SFlare]

So people should repress their base desires simply to conform to some PC norm?

This is very insulting to me. So I should put up with a woman who enjoy tearing me down coz its her base desire?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Repressing your base desires, meaning your thought pattern on a said subject and in this instance, sexuality is un-acceptable holds you back for one thing and for another in my opinion, causes physcological problems. Are we not meant to be free spirited? Be who we are, accept ourselves and as long as we don't hurt anyone, live our lives the way we see fit off course also under the law.

If a person's base desire is to tear down some guy, I would hope that, that guy could see before hand of that intention. And, if you date someone more than once, twice, thrice then surely you gain an opinion of that person's "personality" to know whether or not you bother to take up any further time with that person.

In most instances, it's culture that has one repress their base desires of what they were taught, morals, standards and beliefs. Yet, we are in the 21st Century and I truly believe that as a lot of people are getting out of that web, we should focus ourselves on doing so. We live once in this lifetime. Whilst what we are bought up with should give us a guideline, we should also take from it what we believe is worthy and leave behind what really perhaps does not matter, or would destroy us as people if we continued to choose to follow that belief.

Having said that. Morals should be lived by as that is the core value of your being.

[BabyGirl]

Repressing your base desires, meaning your thought pattern on a said subject and in this instance, sexuality is un-acceptable holds you back for one thing and for another in my opinion, causes physcological problems. Are we not meant to be free spirited? Be who we are, accept ourselves and as long as we don't hurt anyone, live our lives the way we see fit off course also under the law.

If a person's base desire is to tear down some guy, I would hope that, that guy could see before hand of that intention. And, if you date someone more than once, twice, thrice then surely you gain an opinion of that person's "personality" to know whether or not you bother to take up any further time with that person.

In most instances, it's culture that has one repress their base desires of what they were taught, morals, standards and beliefs. Yet, we are in the 21st Century and I truly believe that as a lot of people are getting out of that web, we should focus ourselves on doing so. We live once in this lifetime. Whilst what we are bought up with should give us a guideline, we should also take from it what we believe is worthy and leave behind what really perhaps does not matter, or would destroy us as people if we continued to choose to follow that belief.

Having said that. Morals should be lived by as that is the core value of your being.

And I agree CW..
hopefully you can see this ..

[somerandomguy]

Yes the toys are for her physical pleasure, but I really enjoy watching here enjoy herself. Think how many guys like porn and there they are just spectators.

She doesn't like giving BJs (sad), enjoys getting oral (but not to orgasm) and I enjoy doing it.

As far as what there is to sex - just counting physical things: intercourse of course and oral. There is also kissing licking and biting other parts of the body - its isn't just women who are aroused by contact with non-genital areas. There are all sorts of things you can do with fingers. They if you are into it, spanking, or tickling. Some some (women and men) anal stimulation on the surface or inside. There are a huge range of positions to try- and different locations in the house or outside if you like. Don't knock cuddling - its really nice to lie naked pressed up against someone - can lead to sex, or after sex, but nice on its own. There are sex toys for men, I don't personally like them, but there are lots out there.

I did not knock cuddling; I recounted it right alongside intercourse.

It is my wife who says that intense and nice aren't the same. The most intense thing for her is a vibrator on her clit and fingers for g-spot stimulation. Makes her flail so much that has given herself whiplash (really). Sometimes she wants that, but not very often. Same for men - she has occasionally used a vibrator on my penis - very intense - but not really as nice as a lot of other things.

The large toy and vibrator will get her to orgasm the fastest, but she much prefers intercourse - generally only use the toys if I'm already finished.

Why on earth would I feel threatened by a piece of plastic. I don't feel threatened by horses. It is clear that she prefers me to the sex toys. Why shouldn't she have her cookie and eat it too? Cookies for everyone!

I don't see how this is in any way related to cuckolding since no other men are involved. (I have no problem with people who want that, but its not for me - or my wife).



So - STOP WORRYING. Find a nice woman who appreciates you for what you are. When you are intimate enjoy doing things that give her pleasure and hope she does the same for you. If she doesn't, then find a better lover .

You did not bother to find yourself a better lover after you found out about her reluctance to give head (I do not mean to put you or your wife, down).

To me it feels like a guy has to be a giving and generous lover in addition to being/doing all the other things that constitute a good man (outside the bedroom). His reward is that his woman is willing to accept his smaller than average penis (given she does not prefer that size because of physical limitations on her part (small vagina or what have you)). On top of all this, her man is supposed to provide her with toys as well, should she request them (lest he be considered self-centered and/or insecure about himself). This, to me, is a form of double standards. First, a woman says she accepts the man as he is. But then she still needs something more, something extra. And, conveniently enough, this “something extra” comes in the form of a penis-shaped dildo, indirectly saying “I do accept you as you are but there is just not enough of you to accept”. Nowhere is it mentioned what the man has to accept or “settle” with. It is as if the woman’s vagina is as close to perfect as it can get and it is all up to him to make sure things fit. Sorry if I come across as being bitter; I had another bad weekend.

[rcoreyus]

Yes there is one thing she doesn't like doing. If I insisted that my wife be perfect in every way I'd be a very lonely man. Instead I'm a very happy man who doesn't happen to get as much oral sex as he would like.

I did not knock cuddling; I recounted it right alongside intercourse.



You did not bother to find yourself a better lover after you found out about her reluctance to give head (I do not mean to put you or your wife, down).

To me it feels like a guy has to be a giving and generous lover in addition to being/doing all the other things that constitute a good man (outside the bedroom). His reward is that his woman is willing to accept his smaller than average penis (given she does not prefer that size because of physical limitations on her part (small vagina or what have you)). On top of all this, her man is supposed to provide her with toys as well, should she request them (lest he be considered self-centered and/or insecure about himself). This, to me, is a form of double standards. First, a woman says she accepts the man as he is. But then she still needs something more, something extra. And, conveniently enough, this “something extra” comes in the form of a penis-shaped dildo, indirectly saying “I do accept you as you are but there is just not enough of you to accept”. Nowhere is it mentioned what the man has to accept or “settle” with. It is as if the woman’s vagina is as close to perfect as it can get and it is all up to him to make sure things fit. Sorry if I come across as being bitter; I had another bad weekend.

g

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't like anal so it's a "no way" for me. That is what relationships are about, give and take with boundries. I don't see a problem with a woman not liking giving head as much as a woman who does not like anal..

A woman said to me once " I have to eat food with my mouth, yuck", I chuckled but she has a point.

I personally would also like to point out that I despise man made things. We were born to be intimate supposedly so we like it and consequently have children but we live in a different World and not all want children, some choose career and some are just not maternal enough though they love kids and animals it's just not within them. This is my own personal opinion only, but man made toys should never have been created in my opinion.. My belief is that you work together and in love you feel everything.. I am still of that belief and I've proven to myself that I don't need them and so, don't use them.

Again, this is my own personal opinion...

[somerandomguy]

I don't like anal so it's a "no way" for me. That is what relationships are about, give and take with boundries. I don't see a problem with a woman not liking giving head as much as a woman who does not like anal..

A woman said to me once " I have to eat food with my mouth, yuck", I chuckled but she has a point.

I personally would also like to point out that I despise man made things. We were born to be intimate supposedly so we like it and consequently have children but we live in a different World and not all want children, some choose career and some are just not maternal enough though they love kids and animals it's just not within them. This is my own personal opinion only, but man made toys should never have been created in my opinion.. My belief is that you work together and in love you feel everything.. I am still of that belief and I've proven to myself that I don't need them and so, don't use them.

Again, this is my own personal opinion...

Thank you for this comment!

BTW, can I ask you why you do not like anal? I am just curious...