[Guest]

Sorry, but i really cant see my making the decision, and end up not returning on friday although im not sure if its for the operation or not i think it is though as they wants to do it asap. i really and truely cant make the decision myself.

Wish i didnt go to seek help.

carl

[maz33]

Is there anyone that could go to the hospital with you on friday?

[Guest]

Only person there is, is my mommy, and she knows whats going on as they had to get intouch with her as i life were her, and the worst thing is she wants them to do whatever they see fit, and if i cant control myself then my balls and penis need to be sorted.

[maz33]

Carl, I'm answering you here because this is so important it needs to be at the top of the board.

You said "I can't go, I just can't".

Well yes you can because you know it's your only option. You did such a good thing actually admitting you had a problem, being honest about everything. Now you've just got to allow yourself to be helped, to be "made better".

As I said- yes, you might end up with no sexual feeling if you go ahead with the castration, but you'd have your life back, be able to look yourself and your mum in the eye and make new friends (including us lot!).

I don't want to end up reading about you in the papers, this 'monster' who has abused somebody. Because I'm sure that's not you. That's not what you want to become.

Please think, think, think, and LISTEN.

Take care and keep talking to us

Your friends

[Guest]

Well i cannot make the decision, to let them cut my balls off, and make my penis numb, i just cant maz sorry, but not sure if they have the right to force me, this is really freakin me out and worrying, i get sick when i think about it, yes i wanted help but why they doing this, taking my sex drive away, god its not like i have hurt anyone this sucks.

i cant go hun

carl

[damd]

I can't imagine the prospect of having my balls removed. I don't think anyone blames you for being scared. It's not like having something else removed like a tumor, a toe, or a finger. But if some doctor had found a tumor that need to be removed because it was making you sick, would you do it? You have an illness Carl, and you have doctors who are telling you that procedure can help you. They are afraid that if you don't go through with it that you may, and more likely will, hurt someone.

But I'm not you. It's your life. I just hate to think of the prospect that some years from now you talking about some person you victimized and the decision that you had right now.

Good luck to you

[Guest]

I can't imagine the prospect of having my balls removed. I don't think anyone blames you for being scared. It's not like having something else removed like a tumor, a toe, or a finger. But if some doctor had found a tumor that need to be removed because it was making you sick, would you do it? You have an illness Carl, and you have doctors who are telling you that procedure can help you. They are afraid that if you don't go through with it that you may, and more likely will, hurt someone.

But I'm not you. It's your life. I just hate to think of the prospect that some years from now you talking about some person you victimized and the decision that you had right now.

Good luck to you

Well if it was a tumor or some other operation i would still be terrfied as HATE hospitals but i would go, but this is totaly different having my balls cut off and my penis made numb so i have no sexual pleasure when i touch myself, they want to take my sex drive away before its to late and i offend, they say what happend with nicole is just the start and i will want more and i already think about sex and will end up raping a young girl, i cant see it like but thats what they say and as im classed as a sex offender (paedophile), and to help me they need to kill my sex drive and remove my balls and the op on my penis, but i cannot decide its to hard for me, and im supposed to return tomorrow and i dont think im going to go, they did say now they have me on the sex offenders register they have special rights, were if they think im a danger sexualy they can have me brought into the hospital and they can cut my balls off and make my penis numb without my say so, is that true can they do it by force !, they got in touch with my mommy (who agrees with what they want to do) when they clased my as a offender and got her to sign some document which gives them some permission any ideas what that is or is it to say mommy agrees to them focing me ?, but i cannot see my going tomorrow and im currently having really strong sexual thoughts and urges were i think about going to nicoles, i just dont know what to do i really dont want to loose my sex drive etc, but they say its goto be done before i end up in jail which will be alot worse....

carl

[maz33]

they want to take my sex drive away before its to late and i offend, they say what happend with nicole is just the start and i will want more and i already think about sex and will end up raping a young girl, i cant see it like but thats what they say and as im classed as a sex offender (paedophile), but i cannot see my going tomorrow and im currently having really strong sexual thoughts and urges were i think about going to nicoles, i just dont know what to do i really dont want to loose my sex drive etc, but they say its goto be done before i end up in jail which will be alot worse....

carl

Listen to YOURSELF if not to anyone else. You say you're having "really strong sexual thoughts and urges" about going to Nicole's. You KNOW you shouldn't go there. Stay away from her- apart from anything else she is a messed up girl with problems of her own who has taken advantage of your weakness for some reason or other.

I think you do know how serious your problem is and how much worse it could become. It's like a smoker who refuses to give up even though they know they're on the brink of lung cancer or an alcoholic who refuses to give up even though they have chronic liver disease. Nobody wants to give up something that gives them pleasure...until they give up and are SO glad that they did.

You say you don't want to lose your sex drive- of course you don't because it makes you feel good (at the time) but it's exactly that which is making you do the things you feel so bad about afterwards, it's causing you all this distress and is very likely to have you sent to prison.

Ask docs tomorrow whether you could meet with any other men who have been in your situation, men who have had the op, anyone who has had first hand experience of the before and after.

Good luck

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Jonny 100 pages of reality does not spell a troll, read from A - Z.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Carl, I don't know what to say...

Tomorrow is a day you don't want to arrive.

You frighten your Mother whether you want to believe that or not, she had you, yourd her baby, she loves you and wants that "baby back".

Your frighten yourself with your inner most thoughts, desires.

Your fear of what they can do, does not add in what you know they can reverse so you can have a sexual life simular to the norm later.

You need to go, not because i am a woman as you woudl perclaim but because you need to ensure you don't go to gaol, dont' do something you will regret and your getting angrier as the days go by compared to the Carl who started the thread yet when Carl ( the true Carl) comes out he is funny.

Some of it can be reversed, i am not sure about the numbing and as i said, ask them to take steps, so they can assess not do it all at once.

Wish we could be there tomorrow but we can't..

But we are in spirit.

CW