[CHANDLERS WISH]

Then in my opinion, what you are saying is that you are both of acceptance to porn, you both are on the same page, you both do it, and your both ok with that...

But, to those whom one half doesn't like it, doesn't agree to it, there, again, in my opinion, it's different, there, there has to be compromise, as that is what constitutes a relationship....

By the way, why don't you start your own avatar? And join us as you....

CW

[Casey715]

we do agree and that is what makes us work, to the other half that are against it will just have to figure out what works in their relationship, but i still think that it is not cheating to look at porn, that is all i 'm sayin. and i will have to leave this site to my husband, he needs it more than i do, just wanted to get my opinion heard on this subject from someone that is married and have been in a relationship for a long time.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Fair enough

I am personally all for two people, being happy in anything/everything they do... That's what makes a relationship.. When both parties are happy..and agree...

[Texinator]

I agree with that. As long as everyone is one the same page.. So I don't get why HD's boyfriend continues to insist on looking on porn even though he knows that it upsets her, while it's great that Casey's wife is fine with him looking at other pictures.

[Hopeless Dork]

That's the thing HD, that 20 year old chick in pigtails, that is my wife, no joke. Like I said, she is hot and takes care of me. I'm not looking at something better, just different. I'm certain that does not make it any better in your mind. Its not just 20yo somethings, somtimes its an older girl, or a orental girl. So yes, I guess I would log on and get off because that is exactly what I do. Sorry.

Actually Casey, that comment gave me more comfort than anything a guy that admits to wanting porn when he has a good significant other ever has. Because some of the girls I've seen on my boyfriends computer... in my viewpoint and I have some low self esteem issues... are NOT all that dang hotter than me. Some are, way way hotter than me... but some if the 2 of us were at a party... they wouldn't get any more attention then I would. And I have done nothing but feel less than these images he masturbates to or looks at to get aroused.

I've picked myself apart left and right which a lot of women in my position with my similiar feelings do. I wonder is it because my hair isn't blonde enough is that what he wants? Is it that I don't have a fake spray tan like *that* girl? But.. butt... he told me he likes my skin tone, is it because he likes that girls smaller boobs? That girls bigger boobs? Is it because he truly prefers girls with curly hair? When your guy picks PICTURES of women alone instead of sex acts its an ego destroyer because you know he is being turned on by THAT girl.. what is it about that girl? What makes that girl so effing special? That she is worth hurting my feelings over just to look at.

But hearing you say you have exactly what you want and still want to look at others... it still sucks (lol) but there is a small comfort in that... small, but thats something.

[Hopeless Dork]

Variety. I figured thats what it was and after reading those words I am pretty sure thats what it is. Though he'd never say "I need the variety" cause like you, he'd know how sounds... it is what it is. I feel like if a man is allowed to have variety in who he gets aroused by then it should not be bad if a women gets variety in who she arouses.. as long as there is no emotional connection and no physical, just visual right?

I've bent over backwards to pleasure my boyfriend, It sucks because i really do enjoy making him feel good... but I cant help but feel its a waste of energy when it all comes down to men need variety... whats the point of making things spiced up for a man that gets his spice from it being a different woman in his mind.

Sexy costumes, peep shows, lap dances, new positons and acts, coming up with new and exciting happy ending moments... wth is the point.. 1 woman will never be enough.

[WildChild]

This depends on the man, there are plenty of men who really want just one special woman and want to know that they her one special man. There are women in the world who are slobs at home but dress up to go the the grocery store - who for? They may flirt with many men even though they have a loving man in their lives. It really comes down to individuals and what their expectations, needs and desires are. Like your self, when I love a man he is IT, my world, the only man I really notice. I can understand your hurt, I've been there.

I was talking with a male friend today about the wide availabilty of porn now as opposed to not so many years ago when it just wasn't available and he was saying that it numbs men's minds, dulls their imaginations and makes them less receptive to the real thing. You have to wonder why anyone would want to do that to themselves or the one they love. I don't know.

[Texinator]

It's the McDonald's of sex... cheap and fast, but not always so healthy.

[rejudenate]

I watched a show on TV about this subject, and I believe it's true from experience. The show said that when men look at pornography, it becomes very easy for them to begin to view women as an object, not a real person. This desensitizing of men toward women, can cause them to behave differently toward the women in their lives, even their own daughters. It went on to say that viewing porn makes it easier to de-humanize (sp?) women, thus making it easier to abuse them, usually beginning with emotional abuse. How many of us have had our husband or partner, watch a seedy movie, then take it out on us in the bedroom? Personally, in this type of experience, I don't feel like I am present much of the time, as I feel he is visualizing the girl in the movie.

[Hopeless Dork]

I saw a program on it too talking about what you describe as "porn creep"... doctors and pyschiatrists are seeing a growing number of young men with erection problems and performance problems when it comes to sex with a partner but have no physical ED since they are able to become erect and orgasm to porn and they think its a form of conditioning that excess porn does to some men. Of course not all men are efected and some can have a 'healthy' every once in a while relationship with porn , while some it changes that natural instincts to sex with a partner and focuses their arousal on inanimate objects (which is what these 2d women in their porn become).