Part time Mistress ( as CW asked ) to unfold LONG STORY
Ok, I took some time to try and do a CW asked.
So this may hopefully be less confusing to those who come in on the 3rd page and are confused. Due to the story being out of sequence .
Lets start from the beginning .. I work in an Auto parts store as a parts Pro. I met , I'll call him ”John “. Last May,2009 , he came in my store for items for his truck, and some things we didn't carry so I offered to help him find the things elsewhere.
He gave me his # and I did the research when I got home. Found his things he needed online, called him and told him next time he came in , I had a list of online sites and prices printed out.
A week or so later he came in and got it, then asked me about other things he needed. We talked about the products and he got some I had recommended.
After a few of these times, he asked me to see his truck in the parking lot and recommend something else for his rims & windows. We talked about his truck and we talked about my car I had just bought and he looked at mine & said it needed a good Buff/ Wax job and sometime if I wanted he could help me buff/ wax it as a Thank you for all of my help.
We arranged to me at a local Car Wash the following Sunday. He washed his truck, me my car, as it had to be clean to Wax & Buff with his Professional Car Buffer.
I had Tree Pitch/ Sap all over my car from parking under a tree at my place and it didn't come off in the wash, so he said to get some tar/ pitch remover from my store and get it off & he'd come to my place sometime with the buffer.
We met 2 weeks later, he buffed out my car and we talked cars and fishing, general friendly conversations. He Never came in my place, never asked or was asked in by me and was a perfect gentleman.
We liked cars and keeping the cars in tip top shape and weekly I had new products to offer him or tell him about so we arranged to meet at the car wash every Sunday before I went to work,.
He's a morning person, so am I and since I work at 9 am on the Sundays that I do work, (which are most of them, ) and he's a Monday thru Friday work guy, it was a great time to be productive and be friends and help each other out.
So we'd meet at 8 am every Sunday, wash car and truck and talk cars or Nature like fishing, hunting, hiking .
After a month of car washes, this brings us into late June, We were washing his truck and of course were friends enough to have some “child's play “with the soap and water. He grabbed me and Said “Truce ? “ I said i”I will cost you, Natives only have Treaty's, You must give up something for the War~path to Stop. “ So he Kissed me !! I Kissed back, then we washed my car quickly, as I only had a few minutes to get to work.
I go to work, change into my work uniform and later in the day he texted me, “ Hope my Sunday Beard didn't hurt your tender face “. I texted back, No worry”s it was just a kiss and I was fine. He texted the next day, “Are we still friends and Sunday at the Car Wash ?”
I said “yeppers and will bring some stuff for the windows for your truck “ ( Water spots ) The next Sunday we met , washed the Car & Truck. Talked about our Usual, Nature, Fishing, Cars, places we have been .. We had never talked about Personal home things, Other than I had 2 adult kids living home and He had an adult Son, one that he had actually introduced to me when he was in my store getting parts for his sons car..
Anyway. Just as I was leaving from the car wash to work that next Sunday , I went over gave him a hug and kissed him, ( Bravely ) and said That's a KISS !! And I said I could get to like him a lot. I then walked away and went to work.
I got text later that day, “ Wow that was sweet, but didn't you know I'm Married ?” I said “ No, I'm Sorry , I'm married too . I'm really sorry “ He then asked that we talk in person about it as our txt's were costing us both extra money , ( we both had the pay per text things on our phones ) So we agreed to meet at the park the next lunch time for him that I had a day off . ( our lunches do not coincide)
That was 2 days later. So we met at the park, I explained about my husband and our 6 year no see each other marriage and the decision to not have him come here to the USA illegally.
“John “ explained his almost 2 year old marriage at that time, wife with Fibro, him sleeping on couch, because she was in pain if he touched her while they were sleeping, her mood swings, her imbalance of going through Menopause, & such. He said he had married her to help her out, he DOES love her but wasn't “in love ' with her. And that he was very Committed to the Marriage.
So then we decided to just be Friends. Share our stories, our lives, in bits and pieces, as we both work and try and support each other with our emotions and thoughts and just daily things.
No more wild instantaneous kisses but still meet for Car Wash Sunday. It didn't work out that way. One time in September I let him know I had a full Saturday off coming up . He said “ Instead of a Car Wash, would you like to go on Base and visit the River?
This is a government wildlife and military base , or I should just say federal Land. Pristine, no Campers or Trashy things, Just Raw Nature, if you get away from the Military training grounds where they do all the shooting and training combat things . And you cannot get on the base without a pass and he works on base.
I'm an avid nature photographer, it was a chance of a lifetime to hopefully photograph the Eagles that nest on this river. So I jumped at this rare chance and we met of base and we took his 4X4 onto the Base .
To consolidate this, we went to the river, talked, I took pictures, and we got onto the subject of his wife, this is when he told me about her Fibro and menopause and how he sleeps on the couch.
Again, the friend in me, tried to help him. I've been through menopause, I offered remedies that may help her, offered to research the net on Fibro remedies /treatments to ease her pain . I know/ knew nothing about that disease. I told him that ,on her mood swings to be more attentive, maybe surprise her with flowers or take her out to dinner. Do the unexpected, make her feel she is still a beautiful , loved woman, and that menopause does not take away womanhood, just the ability to reproduce.
He thanked me , hugged me, gave me a kiss that was deep and we almost got carried away. We both stopped and agreed that this was wrong. That is when he said he was devoted to his wife, committed to his marriage and that he could give me nothing but friendship. I apologized and agreed with him and as even though I hadn't heard from my husband in almost 6 years, I was still technically married myself.
We packed up the things we took with us, my Nikon camera ,a picnic tote and he took me back to my car. End of Nature Date # 1. we texted through out another month, Still had our Car washes on Sundays. All was fine and a great Friendship was still in tact.
August rolls around, my birthday is in late August . I had a Saturday off coming up and when he heard that, he said he would like to take me to the river for my birthday gift. Take some fishing poles and hang out for a few hours, walk the trails take some pictures of nature. Things he knew I loved to do, and he also enjoyed. I accepted the gift of a day in nature with a loved friend.
Nature Date # 2
Basically the same scenario, met, took the 4 X 4, went deeper into the river area, I had the Nikon, and a Picnic tote, he had poles and a camping set. We fished, talked, caught a couple of trout, cooked them for lunch, took pictures of many things, huge ferns, trees with dripping moss, sunlight filtering thru the trees, wild flowers. All around a beautiful morning.
When packing to leave, we were loading the truck and he wrapped his arms around me, kissed me and said “if only I'd met you first”.. I knew better, but I kissed him back passionately. And we got “Hot and Heavy” and tried to make love. We were there, wanting each other, and almost to “sealing the Deal “ as one poster said. And he deflated. Lost “it” and we stopped , Dressed and went to finish packing up. He apologized, I did too and we went back to “normal”. End of Nature Date # 2.
Back to our normal texts and normal friendship, Bonding closer by sharing more of our lives, trials and experiences .
Mid September, I get a Text from him. “ Wanna take an over night road trip to the Coast ? “ … “I'm Whats up , the Seagulls mating season, Crab season , Driftwood collection season ? Lol “
He said “ No, I gotta run to the coast and wife doesn't want to go. Would love the company if you are free ?“ I Said 'let me check , when ? “ And then checked my work schedule ,said “ yeppers I can make that, I'll bring the Nikon”. Another Nature Date planned.
It never happened !!!!! Last minute changes, his wife felt well enough to go. I felt that that was something they needed to do, get away, enjoy, be together somewhere besides their home, a Mini Vacation so to speak.
Back to Normal after their trip. Our texts and car washes and just the Friendship. End of September, No more car washes, Rainy Season here. We chatted about how to survive the Fall and Winter without seeing each other once a week . We decided to “ Back Burner “ our seeing each other relationship, Stay in contact through Texting.
We did good , I think, but it was different, he texted more about his wife's drinking, her moods, her illness, how it was so frustrating to work every day and come home to someone who didn't seem to love him, she didn't seem to appreciate the things he does for her and what he would like to do with her. He'd go home after work cook his own dinner and go to sleep on the couch.
Sympathetic ? I was and felt he deserved better. Opened my big mouth and heart and spoke my feelings. “He deserved someone who loved him, for the special things he does, like nature birthdays and coming home and getting “ Loved “ cooking dinner together, watching TV or just Snuggling. He also deserved to be Respected for his commitment to the woman he loved and married. Takes a very strong and dedicated man, to not just leave and find someone like Me , who appreciates his qualities.. “
That's where I got to be “BG Aka His Baby Girl” It was in a text, “ You are so sweet and compassionate and loving , Thanks Baby Girl”,
We had decided that since car washes were out we'd feed the ducks on Sundays before I went to work, almost every Sunday thru October and November and December, we met, talked, hugged a few kisses, always stopping before anything got outta hand.
New Years early Eve,I texted him a … How ya doing hun ? And a Have a Great New Years!!!! And got no reply for hours. Finally ,I Text asking if everything was ok.? He said “Can't chat in Hospital”.
Of course my heart fell, I was worried he was hurt, so text back , You OK ? He said “Can't chat, wife tripped over the dogs, was drunk. Txt ya later.”
6 am New Years Day He texts me “ Sorry BG, Wife and I were getting ready to go out for NYE Party, She tripped over the Dogs in her heels and twisted her ankle, not broken, sprained. Gotta spend the day taking care of her . Luv You”.
I waited all day and he finally texts me around 7 pm, said she was out for the count on Pain meds. Asked how my day was ( I worked ) and that's when he asked if we were going to still meet Sunday to feed the Ducks. I of course said yes. So we met that Sunday, Did our “Normal” feed ducks walk a trail , have a few “Hugz and Luvz “, as I call them. And then he asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch at the park on my next day off, 11:15 am to about 12:15 or 12:30.
I had figured he needed some advice and that was why he wanted to meet during the week and that our 45 mins on Sunday wasn't enough.
So I agreed .We did meet and we did our usual only talk ed longer and in more detail. He is unhappy, he is tired of working his *** off and coming home not knowing if she is going to be drunk or not, tired of wondering if he can hug her or try to talk with her, tired of sleeping on the couch, tired of working weekends to build the decks and fencing to make their home a beautiful one, gardening, buying new appliances to upgrade so the home is nice.
I empathized with him, My first husband ( the one of my 2 youngest children ) was an alcoholic, He left us in 1990 and died 50 years old from Liver and Pancreatic Disease. I told “John “ get her some help, get it now !!
He said that he already has taken her keys, parked his truck behind hers so she couldn't leave, then admitted that she had a DUI/DWI already. It cost him thousands to keep it her from spending time in jail. That is when I told him to not try to stop her from drinking and driving ,
That was the WRONG Advise that I mentioned in an earlier post. And I told him there were many short term clinic's in-patient and out patient, and that not only could she injure or kill herself but possibly someone else. Not to mention that being married he was responsible for her bills, should she be sued for an accident.He said “Thanks BG, for getting my head outta my ***. “
Met that Sunday as usual, walked a different trail, ( this park has a few ) we saw a Huge Tree that was very Wide for this park,, wide in meaning about 4 foot wide at the base. Or waist high.
It was curved a bit and blocked the view from most of the front trail ways ..I didn't have my Nikon with me, so went up the trail and took a picture with my Cell camera.
So I walked back to the tree and gave him my Hugz & Luvz and that is when the kisses got more passionate and we did a bit more than just kissing and hugging. We were lost in the passion and an older ,than us couple ,walked near , saw us and just smiled and said good morning.
After that , all through January to April, We met Sundays and it just got more and more Passionate and Risky. Risk of getting caught, Never unclothing though some lifting or un~ buttoning / zipping ... No chancing intercourse or any oral type. Just before I first posted here, is when he had asked to meet on my weekend day, that I had off. That is when I posted here asking for some advise or direction ?
We did meet and went on to the River, Talked and tried to make love again.. As Usual he Failed to complete the Mission. Leaving us both very frustrated. That is when he told me his wife was leaving town for a 4 day trip, out of state. The Memorial day weekend. He asked if I wanted to spend some time with him at night on Saturday night, the 29th. He said he is a better “ Lover “ in the night time. More relaxed and romantic.
I put in for that day off work and have it off, I am planning on meeting him, Friday night or Saturday late afternoon. The main reason why I came to a Help forum was to see what others thought, see if anyone else has been in this situation ?
I do want to make love with him, I will be honest about that. I think that all this time he has been saying he can't because of Guilt and going home to her after our meetings, that if he didn't have to go home and face her like nothing happened except he was out doing his normal weekend things on the base like shopping for plants or wood to build their decks or the other things he did before meeting me. I'd like to see if can function sexually ?
If he can't, it will not change my love for him, it may change our relationship back to a loving friendship and I would have to be very firm on not attempting sexual relations and keep it as it started. Until he is free to love me without guilt or regrets or being in turmoil of which woman he loves to be with.
A few people have asked questions, and I answered honestly. But … as CW said, it was getting confusing , as there seemed to be 2 stories and she Suggested I write a “ Day by Day “ type post, So all can be read in whole instead of parts !!!
I do have a reply on one commenter , about “Doing anything I can to keep him.”
I have Photo's and Voice / picture/video's and Texts from and of him. With the dates and times on the “evidence”....If I wanted to break up his marriage or make her leave him. I could !!!
I have many things that could prove his “Emotional cheating “ and they would make any one of us women, and many men if this was reversed, decide that their mate was in love with someone else. But I cannot do that to him. It would hurt him and in the long run he would not love or respect me for forcing something on him.
To the one who said the OP (me ) doesn't want to end the relationship. You are 100% correct. I don't want to end it, I just want to put it in it's proper place for this time. In it's proper mode for what is going on. I do NOT want to destroy or force anything on him.
I do NOT ever see myself without him in my life somehow , whether it be a friend, lover, companion, mentor. It matters now, what role he is going to be for the next few months or next year.
****
I can and will support him in any decision he makes. I have never asked him to be with me over his wife, I WILL after the 28th/29th meeting.... Try to do my best to decide what part of his life and my wanting to keep him in my life ( him being Happy & Healthy # 1, )
Because Lost ,stressed or dead loves only make you regret the love you share d and tarnish you to any new relationships that may have another type of love in them.
I call it 4 Seasons of Love.
Ok, I took some time to try and do a CW asked.
So this may hopefully be less confusing to those who come in on the 3rd page and are confused. Due to the story being out of sequence .
Lets start from the beginning .. I work in an Auto parts store as a parts Pro. I met , I'll call him ”John “. Last May,2009 , he came in my store for items for his truck, and some things we didn't carry so I offered to help him find the things elsewhere.
He gave me his # and I did the research when I got home. Found his things he needed online, called him and told him next time he came in , I had a list of online sites and prices printed out.
A week or so later he came in and got it, then asked me about other things he needed. We talked about the products and he got some I had recommended.
After a few of these times, he asked me to see his truck in the parking lot and recommend something else for his rims & windows. We talked about his truck and we talked about my car I had just bought and he looked at mine & said it needed a good Buff/ Wax job and sometime if I wanted he could help me buff/ wax it as a Thank you for all of my help.
We arranged to me at a local Car Wash the following Sunday. He washed his truck, me my car, as it had to be clean to Wax & Buff with his Professional Car Buffer.
I had Tree Pitch/ Sap all over my car from parking under a tree at my place and it didn't come off in the wash, so he said to get some tar/ pitch remover from my store and get it off & he'd come to my place sometime with the buffer.
We met 2 weeks later, he buffed out my car and we talked cars and fishing, general friendly conversations. He Never came in my place, never asked or was asked in by me and was a perfect gentleman.
We liked cars and keeping the cars in tip top shape and weekly I had new products to offer him or tell him about so we arranged to meet at the car wash every Sunday before I went to work,.
He's a morning person, so am I and since I work at 9 am on the Sundays that I do work, (which are most of them, ) and he's a Monday thru Friday work guy, it was a great time to be productive and be friends and help each other out.
So we'd meet at 8 am every Sunday, wash car and truck and talk cars or Nature like fishing, hunting, hiking .
After a month of car washes, this brings us into late June, We were washing his truck and of course were friends enough to have some “child's play “with the soap and water. He grabbed me and Said “Truce ? “ I said i”I will cost you, Natives only have Treaty's, You must give up something for the War~path to Stop. “ So he Kissed me !! I Kissed back, then we washed my car quickly, as I only had a few minutes to get to work.
I go to work, change into my work uniform and later in the day he texted me, “ Hope my Sunday Beard didn't hurt your tender face “. I texted back, No worry”s it was just a kiss and I was fine. He texted the next day, “Are we still friends and Sunday at the Car Wash ?”
I said “yeppers and will bring some stuff for the windows for your truck “ ( Water spots ) The next Sunday we met , washed the Car & Truck. Talked about our Usual, Nature, Fishing, Cars, places we have been .. We had never talked about Personal home things, Other than I had 2 adult kids living home and He had an adult Son, one that he had actually introduced to me when he was in my store getting parts for his sons car..
Anyway. Just as I was leaving from the car wash to work that next Sunday , I went over gave him a hug and kissed him, ( Bravely ) and said That's a KISS !! And I said I could get to like him a lot. I then walked away and went to work.
I got text later that day, “ Wow that was sweet, but didn't you know I'm Married ?” I said “ No, I'm Sorry , I'm married too . I'm really sorry “ He then asked that we talk in person about it as our txt's were costing us both extra money , ( we both had the pay per text things on our phones ) So we agreed to meet at the park the next lunch time for him that I had a day off . ( our lunches do not coincide)
That was 2 days later. So we met at the park, I explained about my husband and our 6 year no see each other marriage and the decision to not have him come here to the USA illegally.
“John “ explained his almost 2 year old marriage at that time, wife with Fibro, him sleeping on couch, because she was in pain if he touched her while they were sleeping, her mood swings, her imbalance of going through Menopause, & such. He said he had married her to help her out, he DOES love her but wasn't “in love ' with her. And that he was very Committed to the Marriage.
So then we decided to just be Friends. Share our stories, our lives, in bits and pieces, as we both work and try and support each other with our emotions and thoughts and just daily things.
No more wild instantaneous kisses but still meet for Car Wash Sunday. It didn't work out that way. One time in September I let him know I had a full Saturday off coming up . He said “ Instead of a Car Wash, would you like to go on Base and visit the River?
This is a government wildlife and military base , or I should just say federal Land. Pristine, no Campers or Trashy things, Just Raw Nature, if you get away from the Military training grounds where they do all the shooting and training combat things . And you cannot get on the base without a pass and he works on base.
I'm an avid nature photographer, it was a chance of a lifetime to hopefully photograph the Eagles that nest on this river. So I jumped at this rare chance and we met of base and we took his 4X4 onto the Base .
To consolidate this, we went to the river, talked, I took pictures, and we got onto the subject of his wife, this is when he told me about her Fibro and menopause and how he sleeps on the couch.
Again, the friend in me, tried to help him. I've been through menopause, I offered remedies that may help her, offered to research the net on Fibro remedies /treatments to ease her pain . I know/ knew nothing about that disease. I told him that ,on her mood swings to be more attentive, maybe surprise her with flowers or take her out to dinner. Do the unexpected, make her feel she is still a beautiful , loved woman, and that menopause does not take away womanhood, just the ability to reproduce.
He thanked me , hugged me, gave me a kiss that was deep and we almost got carried away. We both stopped and agreed that this was wrong. That is when he said he was devoted to his wife, committed to his marriage and that he could give me nothing but friendship. I apologized and agreed with him and as even though I hadn't heard from my husband in almost 6 years, I was still technically married myself.
We packed up the things we took with us, my Nikon camera ,a picnic tote and he took me back to my car. End of Nature Date # 1. we texted through out another month, Still had our Car washes on Sundays. All was fine and a great Friendship was still in tact.
August rolls around, my birthday is in late August . I had a Saturday off coming up and when he heard that, he said he would like to take me to the river for my birthday gift. Take some fishing poles and hang out for a few hours, walk the trails take some pictures of nature. Things he knew I loved to do, and he also enjoyed. I accepted the gift of a day in nature with a loved friend.
Nature Date # 2
Basically the same scenario, met, took the 4 X 4, went deeper into the river area, I had the Nikon, and a Picnic tote, he had poles and a camping set. We fished, talked, caught a couple of trout, cooked them for lunch, took pictures of many things, huge ferns, trees with dripping moss, sunlight filtering thru the trees, wild flowers. All around a beautiful morning.
When packing to leave, we were loading the truck and he wrapped his arms around me, kissed me and said “if only I'd met you first”.. I knew better, but I kissed him back passionately. And we got “Hot and Heavy” and tried to make love. We were there, wanting each other, and almost to “sealing the Deal “ as one poster said. And he deflated. Lost “it” and we stopped , Dressed and went to finish packing up. He apologized, I did too and we went back to “normal”. End of Nature Date # 2.
Back to our normal texts and normal friendship, Bonding closer by sharing more of our lives, trials and experiences .
Mid September, I get a Text from him. “ Wanna take an over night road trip to the Coast ? “ … “I'm Whats up , the Seagulls mating season, Crab season , Driftwood collection season ? Lol “
He said “ No, I gotta run to the coast and wife doesn't want to go. Would love the company if you are free ?“ I Said 'let me check , when ? “ And then checked my work schedule ,said “ yeppers I can make that, I'll bring the Nikon”. Another Nature Date planned.
It never happened !!!!! Last minute changes, his wife felt well enough to go. I felt that that was something they needed to do, get away, enjoy, be together somewhere besides their home, a Mini Vacation so to speak.
Back to Normal after their trip. Our texts and car washes and just the Friendship. End of September, No more car washes, Rainy Season here. We chatted about how to survive the Fall and Winter without seeing each other once a week . We decided to “ Back Burner “ our seeing each other relationship, Stay in contact through Texting.
We did good , I think, but it was different, he texted more about his wife's drinking, her moods, her illness, how it was so frustrating to work every day and come home to someone who didn't seem to love him, she didn't seem to appreciate the things he does for her and what he would like to do with her. He'd go home after work cook his own dinner and go to sleep on the couch.
Sympathetic ? I was and felt he deserved better. Opened my big mouth and heart and spoke my feelings. “He deserved someone who loved him, for the special things he does, like nature birthdays and coming home and getting “ Loved “ cooking dinner together, watching TV or just Snuggling. He also deserved to be Respected for his commitment to the woman he loved and married. Takes a very strong and dedicated man, to not just leave and find someone like Me , who appreciates his qualities.. “
That's where I got to be “BG Aka His Baby Girl” It was in a text, “ You are so sweet and compassionate and loving , Thanks Baby Girl”,
We had decided that since car washes were out we'd feed the ducks on Sundays before I went to work, almost every Sunday thru October and November and December, we met, talked, hugged a few kisses, always stopping before anything got outta hand.
New Years early Eve,I texted him a … How ya doing hun ? And a Have a Great New Years!!!! And got no reply for hours. Finally ,I Text asking if everything was ok.? He said “Can't chat in Hospital”.
Of course my heart fell, I was worried he was hurt, so text back , You OK ? He said “Can't chat, wife tripped over the dogs, was drunk. Txt ya later.”
6 am New Years Day He texts me “ Sorry BG, Wife and I were getting ready to go out for NYE Party, She tripped over the Dogs in her heels and twisted her ankle, not broken, sprained. Gotta spend the day taking care of her . Luv You”.
I waited all day and he finally texts me around 7 pm, said she was out for the count on Pain meds. Asked how my day was ( I worked ) and that's when he asked if we were going to still meet Sunday to feed the Ducks. I of course said yes. So we met that Sunday, Did our “Normal” feed ducks walk a trail , have a few “Hugz and Luvz “, as I call them. And then he asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch at the park on my next day off, 11:15 am to about 12:15 or 12:30.
I had figured he needed some advice and that was why he wanted to meet during the week and that our 45 mins on Sunday wasn't enough.
So I agreed .We did meet and we did our usual only talk ed longer and in more detail. He is unhappy, he is tired of working his *** off and coming home not knowing if she is going to be drunk or not, tired of wondering if he can hug her or try to talk with her, tired of sleeping on the couch, tired of working weekends to build the decks and fencing to make their home a beautiful one, gardening, buying new appliances to upgrade so the home is nice.
I empathized with him, My first husband ( the one of my 2 youngest children ) was an alcoholic, He left us in 1990 and died 50 years old from Liver and Pancreatic Disease. I told “John “ get her some help, get it now !!
He said that he already has taken her keys, parked his truck behind hers so she couldn't leave, then admitted that she had a DUI/DWI already. It cost him thousands to keep it her from spending time in jail. That is when I told him to not try to stop her from drinking and driving ,
That was the WRONG Advise that I mentioned in an earlier post. And I told him there were many short term clinic's in-patient and out patient, and that not only could she injure or kill herself but possibly someone else. Not to mention that being married he was responsible for her bills, should she be sued for an accident.He said “Thanks BG, for getting my head outta my ***. “
Met that Sunday as usual, walked a different trail, ( this park has a few ) we saw a Huge Tree that was very Wide for this park,, wide in meaning about 4 foot wide at the base. Or waist high.
It was curved a bit and blocked the view from most of the front trail ways ..I didn't have my Nikon with me, so went up the trail and took a picture with my Cell camera.
So I walked back to the tree and gave him my Hugz & Luvz and that is when the kisses got more passionate and we did a bit more than just kissing and hugging. We were lost in the passion and an older ,than us couple ,walked near , saw us and just smiled and said good morning.
After that , all through January to April, We met Sundays and it just got more and more Passionate and Risky. Risk of getting caught, Never unclothing though some lifting or un~ buttoning / zipping ... No chancing intercourse or any oral type. Just before I first posted here, is when he had asked to meet on my weekend day, that I had off. That is when I posted here asking for some advise or direction ?
We did meet and went on to the River, Talked and tried to make love again.. As Usual he Failed to complete the Mission. Leaving us both very frustrated. That is when he told me his wife was leaving town for a 4 day trip, out of state. The Memorial day weekend. He asked if I wanted to spend some time with him at night on Saturday night, the 29th. He said he is a better “ Lover “ in the night time. More relaxed and romantic.
I put in for that day off work and have it off, I am planning on meeting him, Friday night or Saturday late afternoon. The main reason why I came to a Help forum was to see what others thought, see if anyone else has been in this situation ?
I do want to make love with him, I will be honest about that. I think that all this time he has been saying he can't because of Guilt and going home to her after our meetings, that if he didn't have to go home and face her like nothing happened except he was out doing his normal weekend things on the base like shopping for plants or wood to build their decks or the other things he did before meeting me. I'd like to see if can function sexually ?
If he can't, it will not change my love for him, it may change our relationship back to a loving friendship and I would have to be very firm on not attempting sexual relations and keep it as it started. Until he is free to love me without guilt or regrets or being in turmoil of which woman he loves to be with.
A few people have asked questions, and I answered honestly. But … as CW said, it was getting confusing , as there seemed to be 2 stories and she Suggested I write a “ Day by Day “ type post, So all can be read in whole instead of parts !!!
I do have a reply on one commenter , about “Doing anything I can to keep him.”
I have Photo's and Voice / picture/video's and Texts from and of him. With the dates and times on the “evidence”....If I wanted to break up his marriage or make her leave him. I could !!!
I have many things that could prove his “Emotional cheating “ and they would make any one of us women, and many men if this was reversed, decide that their mate was in love with someone else. But I cannot do that to him. It would hurt him and in the long run he would not love or respect me for forcing something on him.
To the one who said the OP (me ) doesn't want to end the relationship. You are 100% correct. I don't want to end it, I just want to put it in it's proper place for this time. In it's proper mode for what is going on. I do NOT want to destroy or force anything on him.
I do NOT ever see myself without him in my life somehow , whether it be a friend, lover, companion, mentor. It matters now, what role he is going to be for the next few months or next year.
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I can and will support him in any decision he makes. I have never asked him to be with me over his wife, I WILL after the 28th/29th meeting.... Try to do my best to decide what part of his life and my wanting to keep him in my life ( him being Happy & Healthy # 1, )
Because Lost ,stressed or dead loves only make you regret the love you share d and tarnish you to any new relationships that may have another type of love in them.
I call it 4 Seasons of Love.
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