[Patti-here]

Shhhh, stop that kind of talk, Chaya, go to her, hold her and assure her that everything is fine, please...

[DreamP346]

I worry about what she might do, before I met my husband I was depressed like her with no hope. I tried to end my life by a massive injection of insulin. It was only by a quirk of fate that they found me before it was too late. We are so much alike I feel I know her and what she might do.

chaya, I think you need to put your personal feelings aside, put on your nurse hat and go talk to your friend. If she is that depressed, you need to be there for her as a medical professional. Help her reach out to a professional or join a support group.

If you don't have the strength to do that, just be there with her as a friend. Even if you break down together and just cry, she will at least not be crying alone. Crying is not all bad, but crying alone is hard.

[rcoreyus]

Chaya, I may be missing something but it seems like this situation has gotten better, not worse. Your husband knows you sleeping with Kiyomi, and he isn't angry. She no longer needs to keep her relationship with you secret. Has your husband said something negative to her?

I know that it is terrible that her family doesn't want her, but she has you. How long has her family known that she is a lesbian? Is there a chance that with time they will change their minds?

[jen1447]

What Patti and sp said, chaya. Be there for her. She's feeling alone now. Don't let that happen ....she's counting on you and looking to you for comfort whether she says it out loud or not.

[Patti-here]

chaya, I think you need to put your personal feelings aside, put on your nurse hat and go talk to your friend. If she is that depressed, you need to be there for her as a medical professional. Help her reach out to a professional or join a support group.

If you don't have the strength to do that, just be there with her as a friend. Even if you break down together and just cry, she will at least not be crying alone. Crying is not all bad, but crying alone is hard.

Some times a good cry helps everybody in a time of need sp

[chaya]

She's ok for now. I went to her with my daughter, we talked and played with Misako until she fell asleep. I found out she had sit up in her car all night because she had no place to go.

I still worry about her, I feel I know her and in her position I know what she might do. I don't know if I should try to convince her to stay here or help her find an apartment. Being alone in an apartment could be bad.

[jen1447]

Hang onto her, and don't take no for an answer. She's your responsibility chay.

[Stillness]

chaya, how are you feeling about things up until this point? Relieved? Pleased? Disappointed? Uncertain?

I think what you did was brave. A lot of people would hide the truth.

[chaya]

Hang onto her, and don't take no for an answer. She's your responsibility chay.

Your right, it is my responsibility. She never started the affair, her actions were always correct. It was me that went to her, you might even say I seduced her. Sure, she was a willing partner but not until I started it. I've ruined her life and I don't see any way to fix it.

I've broken 4 of the 5 precepts that I've sworn to live by. Maybe I should get drunk and make that all 5.

[rcoreyus]

Chaya. No one has been hurt by your actions. You may feel you violated your beliefs by having an affair, but the only person who might have been hurt by that has said that it is OK.

Please think about the situation - its actually very good. You can be with you husband and your child. You can be with the woman you love and who loves you. No one is angry at anyone.

Once you realize that things are good now, you can start thinking about how to keep them that way.