[Guest]

Good for you... mmm, Australian, "gob smacked" is that only Australian? Surely not? Um, threw me? Was a good comment? It's all good,no worrys!

Or just nice to know that even with an injury, your partner is important to you... that's worth ( australian) bottling.

CW That is the difference between a boy and a man,no matter what my wife is everything for me!Has been that way for 18 years this may 9th!

[Guest]

ed69
you are amazing how do you cope?

I guees it's just a mind set for me.Yes I hurt,but I refuse to let the pain control me.I've even gotten tattoo's all over my upper body just to prove to myself that I'm the one in control and the pain wont win.

[Hopeless Dork]

Lucky wife you have, Ed!

And cassie I am so sorry that you are still going through this. His coming in and tickling and passing out - it almost seems contrived.. like he is TRYING to make you feel bad. I am sorry but he is just so inconsiderate, it pains me to read your story. I mean that I actually had to stop for a while because your husband is treating you with such emotional cruelty and I know that for now you feel theres nothing else you can do.

But I tell you what... even though you can't leave you can stop being a player in this little power game he seems to be running. Hide in the bathroom and masturbate til ur ears pop and DON'T...... try to get sex from him at all!!! If he comes in trying to touchy feely - give HIM the cold shoulder. Oh yes it will be hard since you want it so bad and wait so long for him to come around but good grief you are going to have to put a stop to his waving his penis over your head like a dog treat and snapping it back all the time before you ever get to have it.

Its mean, its not loving and while you still have to share quarters with this man you do not have to be a poor starving puppy that he is getting some sick thrill on torturing. Seriously , masturbate ALOT. Right before you hop on into that bed so that you don't even glance his way. Let him wonder, and stir that you are not begging him to do his darn job.

Just my 2 cents

[cassie66]

cw
you can ask me anything im greteful for all advice and friends i ahve no one to talk to except you lot hope im not a pain

he was in a grumpy mood this morning, i walked in room, never said a word and he said dont start said he didnt fall alseep until 3am and hid back under the covers

his mum has just rang again, asking him if he is eating enough and getting his calcium lol
i never knew the extent of his phobias he did say he didnt go to the dentist
i l be 43 in june im trying to save when i can but its hard at the moment as all bills have come at once

ed you are brave and still wanting to please your wife. my hubby only has to have a slight headahce and thats enough not to come near me

i said to him this morning as i have many times, your supposed to look after me and i need love and affection he said as normal i do in fact i look after you too well, i let you sleep in the same bed as me.
in fact if he wants to be picky its MY bed as i bought it as i did everything else

hd
i masturbate whenever i can but not often enough as always someone in the house
i shall try to ignore him now itwas always me who instigated things anyway
i still feel starved of love and affection like i did in first marriage but he cant see that

[WildChild]

Hi Ed, Welcome aboard. Gob Smacked is kind of like, "threw me for a loop' or stunned and amazed!
CW it's not just Australian but has fallen out of use in the US or maybe it just that I read a lot of non US authors?

Cassie, following up on CWs questions, what led you to marry this man? If his teeth were so bad he had other health issues as a result I would assume that meant fairly foul breath? He's stingy, even in the courting phase, you paid! He's not affectionate or giving toward you. Sounds like his employment had spotty attendence before. What drew you to him? What was the attraction?

If mum isn't willing to take him where does she get off implying that he isn't well cared for. One statement you made concerns me, "i said to him this morning as i have many times, your supposed to look after me and i need love and affection he said as normal i do in fact i look after you too well, i let you sleep in the same bed as me.
in fact if he wants to be picky its MY bed as i bought it as i did everything else"

Sweetie you are supposed to look after each other! Not him look after you, Not you look after him. You can give but all he can do is take, that's all he has done. Do you have reason to think he can be a giving, caring person?

We get lessons in life to help us grow and develop, if we don't get it the lesson gets harder until we do - some of us (me) are slow learners. This is a humdinger! Stick to your plan, find a job, keep saving, start getting your kids to help out - it won't serve them not to, they'll have households of their own one day. You aren't a therapist, this guy needs more help than you can give, you've got enough to deal with raising the kids you birthed without trying to grow him up too. Take care of yourself, love yourself and get yourself right with you!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Haha, WC, I am not the true blue Australian, I don't say "goodaye mate", to start with and, being around here for over a year, kind of makes me a mixture by now, which will get worse, trust me... but hey, at least i say stuff none of you know off and confuse the shirt out of you, lol. Glad that the saying isn't just Australian, phew... Have enough trouble speaking and you lot trying to understand that language. haha.

Cassie, Ed has been married for 18 years, so that's 18 years of being in love and in that love, he is committed, and has respect and will move to the end of the earth for his wife. This is the type of love you are searching for and will find.

With regards to his comments about his bed? Tell him he made his bed and he's lying in it.

I totally agree with Hopeless Dork, in as much as it's time to stop playing his power games and stop searching for what you want, from this man, because you won't get it, he's manipulative, controlling, a pig, dirty, and yes, treats you like a dog walking around stark naked, with his doodle hanging out and wanting you to beg, just to tell you to get another bone, or not.

Phew, I feel better now....

We are your friends here, you know that by now, by the way.

If his Mother is so concerned, tell her to buy the vitamins, fill your cupboards up with food, tell her that he has spent all your children's money on DVD's and computers and glasses he doesn't wear and you have no food. Why not? Tell it how it is.

I also agree with HD, time to masterbate till your heart's content, when no one is around to satisfy yourself somewhat, for now and do not ask him or hint for sex at all and definately do not give him a BJ, no way...

He needs to start to see he no longer has "any power" around you, any, when he wants something you just say I don't have the money, when he want's dinner, say cook it yourself, when he wants a bj laugh and say you got to be kidding right? pfttt. and walk away.

It's time to re-gain your own power for now - you are woman it's time to roar.

CW

[Guest]

I agree with the lady's here Cassie,it's time to take your power back!Don't be afraid to comeback and vent when you feel the need.I also look forward to hearing about some good things happpening for you.

[cassie66]

morning all
thanks for been here for me
im trying not to let him bully me.
he was in a stupid mood again last night, he took his socks off and waved them in my nose he d had them on 5 days! said he was sore down there again yeah right i gnored him and changed the subject
as for what i saw in him, he was a sort of a blind date we d been chatting on a dating site a few weeks and decided to meet up he sounded a right laugh and looked ok

that first date, i remember it well so diff to what he is now, he told me he was tactile and sponatanous and loved sex lots of times a day
even in the cafe he was feeling my legs, i was with him 8 hours that day, so i saw it as a result as most first dates only last 1 - 2 hours i was starving though, aal i got in 8 hours was 1 cup of tea!
we drove to a park and he was all over me like a rash in the car kept saying im hard etc
he s not really been that tactile since
i guess i never really noticed him teeth he has 2 missing either side of his front ones there a bit brown but he never really had bad breath told me he had had probs with dentist and had to have 5 pulled out. mainly because his fear stopped him from having treatment and they decayed. he had only been dentist once since ive been with him thats alomst 18 months that was an emergency and he had nerves taken out that was the cause of his headaches not anything else

my kids have al gone to there dads for the weekend very rare so we are all alone.
he is alseep i hope lol
we have to niup to town and go food shopping as usual il do most of the unloading /stacking away etc while he l say my back i have to sit down and make me acuupa dear

he text me from work last night saying cook me fish fingers im hungry he always complains no matter what i cook. ive said many times if you dnt like my cooking do it yourself

his mum is often ringing up telling him to eat more and take vitamins he ignore s her
i will keep saving its all i have tolook forward too
thanks for listening

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ooooh I love fish fingers, haha.

Oh darlin...... I know he lied 10 fold and now you do...

And, any excuse to get you to do it all, cook, clean, shop, carry, radarada...

Just keep on keeping on , no bj's no sex, work it out for yourself , it's okay to be sexual, and happy in that feeling and seriously we want? But we DON'T NEED", that's a fact woman.

Here's the score appart from waiting for you to turn up, lol, cause I care....

He's a TAKER, your a GIVER< find a GIVER and then you can TAKE

Make sense?

Rome wasn't build in a day, keep on working towards those goals, because you actually are special.

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

OOPS, I don't mean take without giving...

But, you found, ( wrong/lies) but you WILL find again! WILL.... and even better.

CW