[WildChild]

Its bs about his not having a dad. Plenty of women raise good sons who become fine men without a dad. Sometimes a negative male figure is worse than none! She let him be that way, maybe she justified it as being like his dad. But now he's an adult and answerable for his actions, he can change -if he wants to. (sounds like the opening of the Red Green Show).

Obviously he isn't good with money, to have been working and had such low expenses and to still have run up so much debt. And he is secretive and manipulative with it. He expects a woman (mum) to meet his needs but he wants to feel in control, be the MAN. Being 'sick' is a way to justify his lack of ability to act fully adult. As for sex, well you don't have sex with your mum, do you? But he knows you want it so it becomes another tool of control and manipulation. He's had to think of no one but himself all his life.

You know sometimes when we are making big life changes we have to make sacrifices. You may have to find new homes for the cats. You can't support yourself or your kids, you are living on the proceeds of an earlier relationship and those are nearly exhausted. I don't know about there but here it is generally more expensive to rent someplace when you have animals, there is an extra damage deposit and often higher rents in addition to the cost of food and care - what if one of the cats gets sick? They would also hamper your abilty to get out fast if you had to. What if this man became violent? Would you hesitate leaving immediately because of the cats? Give this some thought, you need to simplfy your life, cut expenses to the bone and reduce your reasons for not being able to act and respond.

[cassie66]

hello
i am listening an yor right not many places allow cats as they think they do damage

he was pretty horrid sunday in fact we had weekend to ourselves and he spent most of it on a train game saying toot toot! or shouting at me
he was generally grumpy was example i was walking into lounge and he said are you deliberatly walking the same path as me to trip me up! it really wounds me up! also i only have baisc knowlegde of pcs that doesnt mean im thick i was on a website and he started saying no not that way thsi way your deliberately making thinks ahrd for yourslef you are thick at time i sometimes wonder about you and you are stupid! i held back the tears

then later he wanted steak and veg but as usal he always complains about my cooking i can dfo no right he said its not cooking so left it all cooker all messy and had pizza and chips!
he tends to eat childlike meals/portions at times too
his fav been macdonalds or smilee faces with fish fingers!
well he is on early shift this morning and he has gone withoiut his packed lunch

im going to continue saving i dnt have enough money yet for a deposit for another place, i paid deposit on this

my arms hurting quite badly this morning not sure what i have done, must ahve slept awkwardly anyway i can barely move it its so painful.
im tired and stressed

another fav comment of his is you really keep winding me up it annoys me! but i dont

[CHANDLERS WISH]

hello
i am listening an yor right not many places allow cats as they think they do damage

he was pretty horrid sunday in fact we had weekend to ourselves and he spent most of it on a train game saying toot toot! child or shouting at me
he was generally grumpy was example i was walking into lounge and he said are you deliberatly walking the same path as me to trip me up! paranoid it really wounds me up! also i only have baisc knowlegde of pcs that doesnt mean im thick no sweet you are not, i was on a website and he started saying no not that way thsi way your deliberately making thinks ahrd for yourslef you are thick at time i sometimes wonder about you and you are stupid!he knows he is and so he says it to you to belittle you to cover his inadequacies i held back the tears you don't even have to cry you should be at a stage, where you laugh, in knowing it's him not you? Can't you see that yet?

then later he wanted steak and veg but as usal he always complains about my cooking i can dfo no right he said its not cooking so left it all cooker all messy and had pizza and chips!
he tends to eat childlike meals/portions at times too
his fav been macdonalds or smilee faces with fish fingers! child, you are living with a child, think about it... he's not worth you getting upset anymore Cassie... As someone says, it iz what it iz, ....

well he is on early shift this morning and he has gone withoiut his packed lunch pfft and you packed it? And it will be your fault, remember, IT'S NOT!

im going to continue saving i dnt have enough money yet for a deposit for another place, i paid deposit on this DO... PROMISE

my arms hurting quite badly this morning not sure what i have done, must ahve slept awkwardly anyway i can barely move it its so painful.
im tired and stressed Stress can cause pain, even if you didn't sleep funny , sorry hun... take it easy.

another fav comment of his is you really keep winding me up it annoys me! but i dont

He is a child, WC and I said it before, his Mother is too blame, she has babied him and he is abusive, it's not your fault and you are not wrong, at all.. Get your smiles on because he will be the loser not you eventually ok.

[cassie66]

thank you
ive just been to the bank and spoke to a very nice lady there i told her about the moeny i am due from the travel company that went bust she suggested i move my remaining miney to a higher interest account, and this new account has no card or bank book she would sent me a pin and new account number in post and when i want to deposit or no balance i just show them the account number the account which hubby thinks money in will be closes
i have more money that i thought, i thought i had 2k i have 2, 700! even better, so when the holiday money returns they will be just under 6k in there.
hubby still thinks i have 1k.

i went ot my other bank and put in the £600

someone i want to ask youe help and advice with, hubby said once ive paid gas/counciltax bills etc he demanded i put any remaining child maintenence/benefit into his account to help him clear his debts!! i was mortified, no way am i doing that, that small amount i save is for me and kids into secret account, if he gets it, im stuck

so im asking you what excuse can i use to put him off? i cant say i dont receive it anymore that will be the case when kids fisnish school so i want to keep as much as possible before they leave as then there will be none. any suggestions?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Rattle off what the kids bills are make them up... when he says but i need, you say, but they need I have no choice, I have spoken to the people and they say if i don;t show that i am spending those money on the kids as they have access, they will stop the allowance, that should do it, did i say i hate, really don't like lying?;in this case i see no choice.

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your husband is controlling, not smart and mummy's boy her doing... so by saying they have access to seeing where it is spent, he can't ever, ever confirm that, that's your get out card, sorry lol, this thing cuts off when it wants, won't let me finish do i speak too much Cassie? I think not..

That is your card, he can't prove nothing... it is...


CW

[cassie66]

im not upset anymore just angry, i deserve better i want some respect. i shall find a way to get enough money and go

[cassie66]

he has a bad memory i l just have to bluff. i go half on rent i use child benefit to pay for some food. thing im worried about is he hasnt paid simon the mechanic who fixed his car yet

i could sday some of it had been stopped but id need a reason. im sure i can get him to beleive anything i say
yes your right, its my card, yet i have helped him out with hbis debts bank charges etc before
i just need a very good asnwer if he asks me for money to pay simon, his petrol bills etc
he thinks i have 1k i dnt even want him to have that, he gets paid thurs but will about 500 sort see how worried i am
what he is doing now is switching off hot water and says we not allowed heating on to save money

i still cannot afford to pay for the drain to be unblocked he has already said i have to pay and that i have no option

[cassie66]

my kids needs school stuff and shoes etc

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I will say it again...

Because it's "child payments' they are now checking bank accounts as to where it is going, so you can't pay Simon.

And you tell him you have $600 and claim to have paid bills as you did anyway.

You put $400 towards what your kids need.

STOP WORRYING about what he is going to say, seriously what is he going to do? DIVORCE YOU? whoo hooo huh?

That is it, that's the story, like it or lump it, now they check and you only have $600 simple, to the point, it is.. simple...

ok?