[cassie66]

thank you
he s been partriculary moody grumpy and controlling today, i woke at 7 and while he slept id put away washing, put on more washing cleaned/fed pets hoovered changed some bedding put dishwasher on took out all rubbiish and had breakfast and he was still asleep, itwas 10 30am

he was in grumpty mood, we went to town to sort bills etc and he got moody, it was final straw ive ahd enough we borrowed money for electric bill, the gas will be 10 days late, rent goes out on thirs and same day he gets paid, but its till sick pay so very low i add up aal his monies etc he says i better not go overdrawn or you will be paying it out of the savings account i added up proerly im good atmath unlike him anyway he started ranting says i will be charged even if im 1p over ive paid his bank charges in the past i said you wonty go overdrawn he says if do you wil be taking out of your account for me. i said im sick of bailing you out i always do im not anymore he says you will do as your told woman! that was the moment id had enough

i l keep saving

[WildChild]

Oh My! I'd be tempted to give a fry pan upside the head! That would be IT. Done. Game Over!

[cassie66]

i hated been alone, not sure if i will ever find my mr right

hubby awful mood we have no more money for petrol just whatsin his tank he says i will have to use savings for his petrol and the council tax
plus i need £27 before wed for daughters prom i paid one daughters now other got a prom too

what can i do? we have to pay council tax £127 a month everyone does. and wiothout petrol he cannot get to work

he thinks ihave £1000 left in fact its £2000 as soon as holiday money comes back been waiting 6 months now that will be £3,676 i shall tel him i havnt got it yet and move it to another account

[WildChild]

You should move part of that 2000 as well as the holiday refund. If he thinks you've only got 1000, let it be 1000! It's your money he's not entitled to it. What did he do with his salary before you married? If he was living his mother his expenses couldn't have been very high. Didn't he save anything?

The sooner you get out of this the better for your sanity. Forget Mr Right, you need to get right with yourself. Get to where you can support yourself and your kids. When you do get into a relationship it should be for love and because your life is better with him than without him not because he can pay the bills.

I know it's hard, you want to love and be loved - I've dealt with it all my life too. For some of us it just doesn't happen easily but you have to look after yourself first! You can't have a man in your life just to get by and you can't settle for someone like this, treating you this way.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

WC no joke, my ex grabbed my wrists when I was cooking once, hard real hard and so i had the frying pan in my hand and lifted it up and hit him over the head with it, haha.

Cassie, no one says " you do what your told woman", pfttttt....

Problem with eating into the $1000 is that then you will eat into the $2000 because this is never ending...

He will, you will, need again even more...on-going..

I would definately give to your daughters as they are your family and you would have had money for them if he wasn't around, but i would only pull out $500 and say that's all I've got now it's $300 due to your kids.

His wrath is worthless, his bites are only words.

You have to find a part time job and also a shelter to stay in worse scenario for a few weeks, to get on your feet and get the out of there.

CW

[WildChild]

That's why she's got to move that money into an account he doesn't know of and can't access - so it won't get eated into.

LOL that frying pan story is funny although I bet it wasn't amusing when it happened.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Seriously, I swear I can read her mind, thinking should I use it all? Knowing our answer WC... say it isn't so Cass..

And, the frying pan? Well, he reported it to victims of crime, spent 20 minutes ( yes I checked his mobile), after asking whom he was speaking to, as i couldn't believe it?. And, do you know what? He reversed it said he was cooking and i came over and grabbed it and hit him over the head? WT? His ex wife, took him so he wanted things recorded in his favour in-case i did the same, oh dear,

See Cassie, you can't "save them", I seriously tried to make him see not all women are the same, didn't work...

CW

[cassie66]

thanks for all your imput, he will not get the remainder of ther money. its just i need to find £127 by wed for council taxim down to my last £1 in my current account. i still have that 600 in my handbag! im putting it in ban k in the morning as he is on early shirt and leaves at 5am so he will be grumpy when he is back at 230pm. his wages will be low until maY payday, so i cannot save until ive paid gas bill and council tax pluse we have to find money tomanage until then. we have argued many times over money.

when he lived at home he paid his mum just £250 a month for his rent. he had a few more debts trhen, smnall ones which was paid off
one of the things that annoyed me the most was when we got a house, we went to ikea a big furniture warehouse, he most oif my furniture ive only got the sofa left which was mine from first mariage anyway he told me he was broke so it cost me 2000k in ikea to get things like beds wardrobes etc
i found our later he had £4k in savings account he never told me of! i was furious he could ahve gone halves with me. his mum told me about the cash. he told me he forgot he had it anyway in the end he used it to pay a credit card off

at the mo he is paying oround £800 a month to cover his car loan and direct debit debts so with him only bringing in £1000 we are short. see my prob he just says use the savings u no option
soon as gas bill etc paid i l save some more money

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey sweet.

Well you already know he's a cronical lier, but he seems to know you have SOME money SOMEWHERE, it's kind of like when you tell him you don't then realisation may set in, he can't USE YOU.

I am convinced his Mother has a lot to answer for.

She worries about him, eating, vitamins, but can tell you he had money when he used you, as he used her?

His nature?

You can go to an abused shelter, I know you don't want to but you can till you find a job and work this out.

I know you prefer to save a bit and then find a way to go and I believe that you are detesting him more and more daily...

You have to talk to his mother you have to say you know that she knows he's a loser and using you, you have to tell her you helped him when he lived with you and you have to cover now because I cant.

You have to Cassie...

She knows she's wrong, she knows she has gotten rid of him, she loves him but she knows what he's done, does and is doing, she knows.

It's time to talk to her.

CW

[cassie66]

i have chatted to his mum abouit his lazy ways lack of hygeine controlling ways and stubborness she says oh i no he salways been like that he gets his mtemper frpom his dad

could the way he is be down to him not having a dad? apparantly his dad left him when he was a baby so he s had no father figure.

he was funny with me about cat liiter yesterday i have 4 cats all rescues i love cats he says there stink rats anyway as we live near a main rd i keep them inside i have 2 litter trays used to have 3 i buy cat liiter which is 30l for £9 yes expensive he says 1 bag should last a month! yeah right it lasts roughly 9 days so he says i goota use half a scoop! impossible