[CHANDLERS WISH]

God no, CASSIE, there are several types of abuse, look up the word one is called "emotional" abuse.

It is just as bad as physical abuse... In as much as it brings you to a level of control, look up emotional abuse maybe we are getting somewhere there, you don't seem to realise you seem to only see "child" instead of what is happening.

A break through I think.

CW

[cassie66]

my first hubby bascially ignored me most of the time i got resentful of been negleted and left i wnt let it happen again

[WildChild]

Hi Cassie,
Having the computer remember your passwords is for people in a secure situation on their own computer. You aren't!!! Disable that! Keep your passwords in your head or work yourself out a code and write them down. Having the computer remember them pretty much guarantees that Anyone can go where you go on the computer. There is also a history feature that shows every site logged onto for days, weeks or months. Do you know how to clear it? You can look it up on your software's help.

You are experiencing emotional abuse and he is controlling and self centered. Every time you ask him for physical contact and he denies it, you re-establish his sense of power! He is unwashed, uncaring and unloving - WHY do you keep wanting affection from him? You need to answer this question for yourself or I think you will have a very hard time breaking out of this and are likely to end up back in a similar situation. Sweetie you need to get right royally POd! Anger is really bad uncontrolled but appropriate anger can be channeled into action, like a way to kick yourself in the butt! You need to become very purposeful in your actions and in how you use your time. You don't have time to mess with his nonsense.

One of my favorite singers, Shawn Phillips, has a line in a song, "A woman, angry now. A woman who kicks the clouds." You need to start doing some cloud kicking, lady! Reach deep inside yourself and find your own love for yourself, your self worth and know you are better than all this! You deserve to be treated so much better. You know where it starts? Who has to give you this better treatment? YOU DO. This doesn't mean you need to waited on but that you start with loving yourself, valuing yourself and knowing you can handle whatever you have to.

I will assume that like many of us whose families (or parts of, we Americans tend to be very mixed) orginated in the British Isles, that you have Celtic ancestory. You know they've been given a bum rap in history and were a facinating people (history is re written by the conquorers). Here is a description of the Celtic women written by a Roman in the 250BCs he was describing the Celts in battle, the women fought too, here is his description of them: "A whole band of foreigners will be unable to cope with one of them in a fight, if he (a man) calls for his wife, stronger than he by far and with flashing eyes; least of all when she swells her neck and gnashes her teeth, and poising her huge white arms, begins to rain blows mingled with kicks like shots discharged by the twisted cord of the catapult." Makes you wonder just who that Roman ran into LOL!

These women were also know for their beauty and artistry. Now I'm not suggesting you start raining blows on anyone physically but but keep this image in mind while you are dealing with this man. You are stronger than you know!

[cassie66]

i hear you wildchild. i cannot just walk out today without a plan. im working on that i ahve a few ideas
i guess i wnat to feel loved and wanted. he still hasnt had a shave/wash/shower/brush teeth etc

i will disable password
im getting advice on monday

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey Cassie, good to see you...

Well not from him you don't is the point WC is saying, and I agree with her, kind of now become a born again total Virgin, right down to touching, because the man you want this from will be shaved, washed, showered and brushed huh.

I am Computer illiterate, he probably isn't so again good idea about disabling password..

Hope some news comes good to keep building the plan hey.

CW

[cassie66]

hi just come in he has just gone to loo
i am listening honest dnt think her ius going out so will come on when i get time alone
i will disable password
he is very good on a pc

[cassie66]

morning all
well yesterday all hubby did when we got back from supermarket was play on a train game again on pc and he kept shouting toot toot and moving his hands like he was playing an imaginary guitar! i told him he was childish he said no im not!
later when we went to bed, i put tv on and my little cat came the room he is 6 months tomorrow, he just wanted a cuddle and weas purring on my knee, hubby kept shouting get that rat out of here cats not allowed in the bedroom i said its my cat he s only having a cuddle. so hubby yanked him from my arms and threw him a cross landing he slid on bathroom floor and hit bath he is ok thank god hubby shouted i told you 5 times to get rid of that rat! now shurrup and go to sleep!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Early Cass....Hello.

That's terrible and worse, because I so love animals...

So what? You can't get your "cuddles" from somewhere else? I would be saying, do that again and you will sleep on the lounge, get it!!! AND MEAN IT.

Or Cassie, you start separating yourself, right now... If your not strong enough to say that, then you say, "actually, I couldn't fathom sleeping next to you, and walk out and go and sleep on the lounge.

I don't know how else we can say this to you, you HAVE TO START TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, because he is laughing.. He is belittling you and you are taking it and he is laughing.

Get that Anger in check, but start doing.

GRRRRRR

CW

[cassie66]

hey im trying to ignore him

he broke my clock once as he said the ticking distrubed him

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yep and "tick tock, tick tock" the clock is actually still ticking and his time is getting shorter.