[cassie66]

i mean if i have a facebook and he finds it he would know ive been chatting on here he has his for wrek collegues only so keeps his private he is called rik dont really have many msn contacts just 8 and i dnt go on much as he would nosy and read what i put. i have a male freind i chat to and text a lot whom i came across on a music site 4 years ago we really hit it off and have been chatting ever since ive never met him and he is 16 yrs my junior bit we get on and i tell him evrrything hubyy id very jealous and seems convinced he/i fancy each other this is not the case hubby once said if i man started chatted me up hed punch there lights out

[CHANDLERS WISH]

grrr jealousy ok so start a Mypsace, bottom line is you need the same thing.

I will add you.

CW

[cassie66]

i think at one time i had a myspace not sure my kids all have myspace my freind i jusdt told you about kevin he has myspace too hubby doesnt

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well if hubby ( which you have to get out of the habbit of calling him that, cause he's not your FUTURE husband) rather, a man whom maybe married you to get a green card of what you told him , divorce, money..... sorry,

Does not have a My Space you get one, and chat away to your friend and new ones ok?

Kevin is a friend that is all? then time to chat more.

Oh, you know that others are sleeping and will reply time difference, i seem to be here as an Australian when you get on whilst he is at work that's all.

You already know that whilst i have replied 10 fold so have others.

Take care Cassie, i will be going to sleeping soon... xx

CW

[cassie66]

yes i know there are lots of time differences on here its almost noon here and i post whenever he is at work or in bed he will be abck at 230pm so wont eb able to get back on until the morning
kevin is not online much
i have just signed up to myspace not quite sure how its works but im called cassie on the site and asked for it to be private and accepting incoming freinds requests
well you have a good sleep i shall get lunch shortly

am i the only english person on here?
x

[WildChild]

Cassie you know it doesn't matter what he thinks at this point. I mean, why do you care? HE doesn't care about your feelings. This is your opportunity to learn to quit avoiding confrontation. Doesn't mean you have to get into fights with him, not at all, but have to decide what you want and stand up for yourself. You are starting to do that, stick with it.

You need to get employed. Get over this biding your time thinking and get working! You need income! Not just child support. That is child support not Cassie support, they are growing up. You've got a lot on your plate but you have to own the responsibity for the fact that you've let this man into your life. (I've made some really poor choices that way myself, which is why I'm bringing this up - I've been there too) Now you are moving toward correcting this error. It isn't easy, it isn't fast but you have to do it. You can't live with years of this. Part of that is becoming self supporting.

His sister sees what he is and what their mother did to allow it. She may naturally hold some resentment but she has recognized that there is nothing productive in being in contact with him or their mother and so she has moved on. His attitude of superiority is funny, he's no prize. I would get out ASAP; the work history, his record of absences with his current employer sounds like they should be finding a way to let him go if they can. Why keep an employee who is always in poor health, has bad hygiene habits and you can bet he's not so very differnt at work than at home in attitude.

You need to get a sense of urgency. Not panic but urgency. Find a job - how about a pizza place? (just like his sis? LOL) Just find something! It will not only help your budget, it will do your self esteem a world of good! This guy is a manipulative, self focused user. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet and walk away, head held high!

[cassie66]

he has just nipped out to fix a computer so ive come on here
im hearing you wildchild i am applying for jobs lots and all types beleive me he said whne i get a job he l use that money to pay his debts! so i need to lie about the amount of wages i will get out and i dont care anymore honest

[WildChild]

I beg to differ. They will be your wages, why would he get to decide what to do with them???!!! Get this thinking out of your head! IT ISN"T UP TO HIM, UNLESS YOU LET IT BE!
DON'T GIVE HIM THAT POWER. It isn't his unless you give it to him!

So what if he gets upset? Let him. Let him pout. Let him rant a bit. So What if he does? The earth will still turn. The sun will still rise. Laugh at how silly and immature he is. You can divide up the household expenses if you wish. You take the gas, give him the electric? But YOU don't pay his debts. BTW you should be able to contact your credit cards (the ones on your name) and put a lock on them so he can't charge on them. Make them Cassie only or close them (you can do that w/o paying it off yet) Then he can't run those up any further. When we were splitting up my now ex actually tried to purchase a car using my credit card but I'd already removed him from it. He may get POd but guess who has to pay the bill reguardless of who ran up the bill?

You should get a post office box so that Your mail doesn't come to the house and he can't get at it (they aren't expensive and could save all your money from him). This would take care of worries regarding the bank info or credit info. You have to start establishing a separate life now so it will be easier later and there will be fewer surprises. Basically you have to establish a parellel life, living in the same house but living your life not a life with him. He thinks only of himself, start thinking of yourself.

[cassie66]

yes i was thinking of a po box
i just get so fed up of him saying stuff like you have to or you have no option etc

he hasnt paid simon the mechanic yet, he is coming back satday to put on a new csam belt neither of us have the money to pay him i think the bill will be around £300 when before he thought ift was a more serious prob luckily it wasnt it would have cost £800 to fix and he said you l have to pay i said i cant and he said well you have no choice or i cant go to work and earn! sounds like balckmail to me he always has an answer for why hisd reasoning is best

[cassie66]

example when i said i acnt affoed the council tax and he said use savings and i said no he said well it will be your fault when the baliffs throw us out