[cassie66]

morning
i hear what your saying wild child and yes im doing my best i am trying all housing options and email random companies in case they need anyone

cw
last night when he came home he started going on about the kids having no respect and if they were his he would hit them saying they need a good hiidng as it never did me any hardm also said i keep telling you to let me put a lock on the kitchen door so they cannot come down for food but you wont let me no course i wont how silly
he also said im kicking em out when there 18 im sick of them im hate kids then said when your dad dies we re buying a 2 bed bungalow with big garden wall to wall fish tanks and a pond full of koi and i think i l retire! not on my money he wont!

[cassie66]

getting evicted is not the answer he knows i get child maintencence that pays half the rent

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Cassie, your right, eviction is not the key.

Well, he keeps pushing your buttons including trying to make you feel/ that he wants you to remain, 2 bedrooms but off course, cause he wants your money, well Dad's when he's gone and then laying down the law, no kids, they are gone.

He also makes mention a good belting.. I think WC once said try to get back in touch with his sister, I think you should be good to know a bit more about Mummy Dearest, ever see that movie?

Maybe, seeing as the sister doesn't speak with her she beat the out of both, made them both immature, and never have anything and so now he wants, and why he is a child, physcologically whilst the sister was strong minded and was able to walk away...

He couldn't , hates women, hates you as he hates women, hates mummy dearest..

The more you write, the more it comes to my mind, .....

Go to hospitals, restaurants, walk in in your nice dress, lipstick ASK to speak to the manager, and just say, I have two children, I love cleaning and cooking for them, and i would be the best cleaner, in the kitchen for you, helping your chefs, appreciate there may not be a job vacant at present but I wanted to introduce myself.

You will impress and leave an impression, leave your name and number.

Oh and don't forget to ring the bank regarding your pin number directed to their branch instead for you to collect.
CW

[cassie66]

he has just left for work i shall ring bank shorlty and look for jobs to apply for
the road i live on is long and has lots of shops i can go for a walk and ask in the shops to ss if there are any vacancies
something you can help me with if that ok? my ex husband is still causing me trouble ive had yet another letter from csa (child maintence people) he s trying to claim he has shared care so he will get a reducition in the payments he makes to me
the csa are asking for proof that i have the kids and that he doesnt/didnt have them on the days he is claiming for
he has them occasioanlly not the days he says so i assume he has to provide evidence that he has had/does have them the days he said as well as it works both ways
im not sure how i can prove they are here and not there as im not allowed to use the kids as evindence as i spoke to a person few weeks back and i said you can always ask my kids they will tell you they are here but no they wnat some sort of documented proof same goes for him i wouldnt put it past ex hubby to forge documents
so any suggestions on how i can proove they are here would be welcome thanks

[CHANDLERS WISH]

oooh ahhhh WC?

And, no asking this "man" to lie.

There are orders as to when he should or shouldn't an affidavit from the kids in my opinion as they are not young, should surfice.

CW

[cassie66]

i thought about given csa the schools phone number as there have the school recors to prove when they started aslo eldest has a weekend job so that company could prove she was there i hope that is good enough last thing i need is ex causing bother ive enough on my plate

[WildChild]

Aren't ex's just lovely? My kids dad recently spent a year dragging me through the courts (actually we are still on the tail end of it) forced the kids and I to submit to extensive interviews with a court investigator, and we spend an entire day in the courtroom. The end result? I'm over $10,000 in debt for attorney and investigator fees, was found completely innocent of contempt or alienation and to have really great kids (the magestraite's words were "dream kids") and nothing is changed. I could have ended up with jail time! Now he claiming that he can't afford child support and has quit paying.

It sounds like the courts there, as here in the US, do really dislike having the kids pulled in between the parent's battle. Cassie, I think you are right, get the school attendance records, I assume their father lives in another area? Work schedules and how about any activities? They went to a local movie? School events? You were shopping for prom or whatever? Studying for a big exam? Any days home with a cold or flu? It's a pain but you may have to go through your daytimer, your calendar, your checkbook to jog your memory of what was going on. Do you have a way of reconstructing when the kids were with their dad?

I don't know what the requirements are there, but here it pretty much has to be 50/50 time to negate child support. Isn't it interesting how all this 'concern' for the kids translates into how can I spend less? Kids are expensive. I told my attorney that if my kids dad gets what he is trying for in terms of child support it won't keep our son in soccer socks and cleats let alone help feed him!

Wow, the retire on your dad's estate really does confirm the idea that he is totally after what he can get from you. I really do encourage to try to talk with his sister. She doesn't like him and has probably got some 'inside' info that would help you get a better perspective on dealing with him.

I am increasingly uncomfortable about his attitude toward your children. The sexual inuendo, the threats; it can't be comfortable for the kids. You need to be very aware and make it very clear, he does not lay so much as a finger on them!!! He is a step parent and has not been in their lives that long. He has not earned the trust required that he can exersize any parenting.

Stick with your plan, get some sort of employment and really get out on schedule, getting out will spend down what you have and then get that divorce! No one wants their parents to die but when your dad does you don't want this overgrown childish idiot grabbing all or half - you need him legally out of your life! We all make mistakes, not doing what it takes to correct them only compounds them! Start thinking of him as a correctable mistake? An error in judgement. Given his behavior, his phobias and some of the stuff he has done my guess is you'll find a chat with his sister, if you can get her to talk, very enlightening and perhaps a little scary.

[cassie66]

thanks wild child
my ex hubby has been a pain since the day i stuck up for myself and left him
he wasnt interested in his kids until i told him i was moving and getting married
it took me 18 months to get the child support as he tried every trick in the book to stop me getting any
i think now he has a woman he is after money for that. he blames me for his debts he hid the fact he had 75k debt and 10 credit cards from me!

so now i have to prove the kids are here as he has told them he has shared care! he has seen them a handful of times in the past year
i can prove kids attendance records at school
i did say on the phone to csa that how can he have them when we live 50 miles away and have to go to school!
i gues my word isnt enough! im not sure if i can find documents they wont speak to the kids my eldest has a wekeend job so i guess i can put the works number down on the form so they can ring and check
you no i dnt need this my ex is a big pain!

as for current him well he at work and been moaning about my kids
theres no way i will let him kick them out!
he knows when they all finish school the money stops. he is hoping my dad will die before then i think he keeps talking about wall to wall aquariums! no way!

he keeps saying im not paying for her to go through university etc she can get a student loan i guess

he keeps saying there all stroopy and spoilt brats who need a good hiding!
dont worry he wouldnt dare touch them!
he makes silly remarks about there breasts saying they have got fried eggs etc and he knows they want him he says it all in a childish way he doesnt mean it
they say he is gross, dirty, mean and selfish and the reason i never give them money is cos he takes it!
i pay half the rent with the child support i do my best, money tight at the moment

as for his sister i havent spokene to her in months we never really got to know each other i got the feeling she didnt like me so im not sure wether talking to her will help as her best freind is living with hubbys mums dads son! so anything i say would be around town and back to hubby in minutes gossips! and they all work at pizza hut!

[WildChild]

This behavior toward your kids is really, really inappropriate. Talking to developing girls that way is completely out of line.

[cassie66]

yeah i know he says it in such a childish way its almost as if he s the same age as them.