[Claret]

Sometimes we take the weight of the world upon our shoulders, when the reality is that it belongs to many people. So what I'm saying is, why are you just looking at your part in these breakups -- there always is a second person that must/should have some of the responsibility for this. I also think you are over analyzing things and you are forgetting about today, so my advise to you would be to live for today, live in the moment, don't take things so seriously, and don't be too serious too soon. Enjoy the moment don't analyze it and look for flaws. If you're looking for the flaws you surely will find them either within yourself (perceived or real) or within your partner (again real or perceived). Just live for today for heavens sake. EDITED TO ADD: The moment you say to someone, "Am I big enough, smart enough, tall enough, rich enough, you plant the seed that says, "maybe he's not". Don't do it to yourself.

[Guest]

Sometimes we take the weight of the world upon our shoulders, when the reality is that it belongs to many people. So what I'm saying is, why are you just looking at your part in these breakups -- there always is a second person that must/should have some of the responsibility for this. I also think you are over analyzing things and you are forgetting about today, so my advise to you would be to live for today, live in the moment, don't take things so seriously, and don't be too serious too soon. Enjoy the moment don't analyze it and look for flaws. If you're looking for the flaws you surely will find them either within yourself (perceived or real) or within your partner (again real or perceived). Just live for today for heavens sake. EDITED TO ADD: The moment you say to someone, "Am I big enough, smart enough, tall enough, rich enough, you plant the seed that says, "maybe he's not". Don't do it to yourself.

That doesn't happen when someone I'm with feels insecure about themselves. I reassure them. If a girl says to me 'my breasts are tiny', or 'I don't feel good enough because ..' I'm obviously going to put them right and reassure them, not start thinking 'oh maybe she isn't good enough'.

I don't get serious too soon. This isn't an issue about how well the actual relationship outside of sex went. That part was fine with long term girlfriends. People I entered into relationships with. The sexual part was obviously the issue. That's why I'm posting a sexual question.

[Guest]

I've gotten myself good at foreplay and learned how to get women to climax because that's what I know women want from men. I didn't do it because I really enjoy sex; because frankly, I don't. It's a chore and workout most of the time, and it's usually all about her. I've had one night stands and tried to bring myself round to enjoying it but again; it's all about her and when I do let go and try to enjoy it, she's the one who ends up dissatisfied. I have to keep my concentration and go like something possessed to get her off.

I've never met a woman that doesn't want sex so I made sure I was good at it, at least as much as my physical shortcomings allow. But it's not enjoyable.

It was enjoyable once, with the short woman. But it's not a given that every girl I find mentally stimulating and smart, witty and intriguing, who shares my interests and my goals, is going to be a short woman. And I don't want to get into a relationship with someone I care about, get into the bedroom and then find out our whole sex life is going to be a marathon.

You'd think 4 and a half inches of circumference would be pretty okay but it's a curse. I can't get involved and go a bit slower and easier like a guy with a big penis can and it's a drag. It makes sex really un-enjoyable.

[rcoreyus]

Maybe your partners aren't enjoying sex because you aren't - to you it is a chore. There is a difference between doing what your partner enjoys, and treating sex as a chore. (not blaming you - but maybe you've fallen into this pattern?).

[Guest]

Maybe your partners aren't enjoying sex because you aren't - to you it is a chore. There is a difference between doing what your partner enjoys, and treating sex as a chore. (not blaming you - but maybe you've fallen into this pattern?).

I have no problem on putting across a passion for sex and making it enjoyable for my partner. It isnt just women who can fake interest.

Like I say, Im good at foreplay and all that. But I dont find intercourse very enjoyable. It's a workout, not a fun experience.

I have to work very hard to get a woman to climax that way and when i get fed up or tired out and slow down, or get fed up of every session being like an hour at the gym and stop exerting myself in sex, then women lose interest in doing it. Obviously it's a girth issue- not enough pressure inside the vagina means not enough stimulation for her. I have to make it up with speed and angling myself in certain ways and it's like running a marathon.

The alternative is to slow down a bit in order for me to actually experience some pleasure from it all and then I lose her interest. Then she gets fed up eventually and stops having sex, which in itself I dont mind. But eventually no sex for her means the relationship falls to bits and she goes somewhere else, which i do have a problem with because I cared about her.

[Guest]

It doesn't matter anyway. Nobody has actually given me a straight answer to the question I asked at the end of my first post, and I suspect I know why.

The relationships themselves, emotionally and mentally, were great. We clicked.

The foreplay was fantastic for her. And pleasing in a mental way for me because I got to witness her reaction. The writhing and the noise; it always feels good to see.

But when we got down to having actual, real sex; when I got near hr and felt her body on mine and her legs clasped round me, and we got close together for that intimacy, it was meant to be the best part. But it was a flop.

And I don't get to enjoy that part of sex with a woman; i dont get to relax and be with her that way. I have to work like a horse and I know many women say they often feel dissatisfied with sex, but apart from with that small woman (who i had very little emotional connection to), i have felt dissatisfied every single time Ive had sex.

Either because its been such a workout that it was no fun at all. Or because ive stopped giving 199% and slowed down a bit and then seen the look of dissatisfaction on my partners face and had to put up with the rejection afterwards; being pushed off or having done the foreplay and for women to get clammy and funny with me once that part's over.

They always end up with somebody else.

Anyway I've been celibate for a while now, I don't plan on getting involved with anyone else.

[DreamP346]

Medi, I tried reading through all your post. They are very long and I apologize if I write some thing you have already addressed and I missed.

You say you searched this forum's history. I don't know what you read, but 90% of the discussions about penis size have come down to the fact it isn't important. Its about how a guy used what he has and about the man himself. Reading your posts, it sounds like you have already made up your mind on this issue and regardless of what you read, the take away message you sem to pick up is that penis size is very important to female sexual satisfaction. I suggest you re-read the post carefully. There are two in particular, one went something like "why I'm glad to have a 5 inch penis" and the other was "the last thread about penis size". I think most women on this forum will agree with me that it's not the size/girth of the penis, but how a man uses it and other parts of his body during sex that really matters.

Next, any person who criticized my natural body size it not a nice person. I say good riddance. You don't want to be with a person like that. If sexual dissatisfaction is caused due to body part size, then it's that person's fault for not trying to do things other than plain old intercourse to make it more fun. Ofcourse if this person tried and you weren't willing to actively work towards improving your sex life, then that would be your issue, but not a size issue but a lack of communication issue.

Relations are complicated, sexually, emotionally, financially, socially, etc. your partner is never perfect. You have to work in making it work. Whether its that they don't make as money as you would like them to, their family is nasty, they come from a different social background, they have issues with sex, etc. every couple, even the ones who look perfect on the outside have issues. Good relationships about working through the differences to make it work. If a partner uses your physical size as an excuse for not exjoying sex, thats not a size issue. That a communication and working it out issue.

[Stillness]

Medi, I haven't measured my equipment since I was a boy, but I doubt it's above average. One lady I had been intimate with told my best friend that I was small. Guess how much I care...none. Not even a little. Even if she was telling the truth it doesn't matter. And if it did, there's nothing that you, I or anyone can reasonably do about it. I'd say worry about the ways we can change and improve ourselves.

This in not wishful thinking. Do a more thorough search on this site. It seems to me that you're only seeing what your fears allow. It's a foregone conclusion in your mind that you're too small, so you focus on issues you've had with women and point back to something that probably didn't even factor in. I've seen countless posts on this site where the women are complaining about a man with an average to large penis hurting them. There are posts where women are wishing for a man with a smaller package or thankful that they have one. There are loads of women here who have posted that penis size doesn't matter and that their best lovers were smaller men. Of course there are some who only want a man with a big one, but they are in the minority. You drove one woman crazy. So have I. More than one - with my penis inside of them, but not with just my penis. We had an emotional and spiritual connection.

One woman I was with used to make noises that would put a porn star to shame. When she heard herself once she was so ashamed that she would try to be quiet and nearly break my neck every time I was inside her. She left me. I had a beautiful girlfriend with a body that would make an atheist fall to his knees and repent. I left her. Sometimes people just don't work out. It's not about the physical. The connection is just not there.

I've also driven women crazy with a finger. My fingers aren't that thick. Vaginas come in all sizes too. And unlike penises they adjust to fit. Look inside, not between your legs. Or better yet, just move on and leave dead relationships in the past where they belong.

[Stillness]

Meh, sp346 somehow copied my ideas before I posted them.

[Guest]

As I've said above, i worked very hard; foreplay, build up and making women climax before intercourse.

But to be honest, I feel at my most intimate during intercourse; but if I dont work very hard and endure for a long time at that, women get put off having sex with me.

And thats a simple size issue; if it was thicker in circumference than 4 and a bit inches, the actual intercourse would be better for both of us.
Thats what I've read in the forums after the first reply guided me there. and thats what I've read on other sites, and that was the question i asked.

I got told to check out the forums and I did.

I know that for 'sex' in general ie foreplay and the whole experience, size doesnt matter. But it does for intercourse and these women were probably just honest about that I think.

I dont want to have to work at it, or start emasculating myself using toys that are bigger than me. How does that help me feel adequate and sufficient and intimate with any woman? What I really wanted was for someone to come along and say 'yea my husband of 10 years has that same girth and intercourse is great'. But that wont happen because Ive looked EVERYWHERE I can find on the net and everywhere says girth matters for penetrative sex.

So I have my answer and like I say, Im not planning on having sex anyway.

You guys are all replying with relationship advice about things that were never an issue. I asked a specific question, got pointed in a direction, did my reading and got my answer.

Yes. My penis is too thin to cause good stimulation during relaxed, steadily paced intercourse.

It's a broken ego but there's a reason guys with big penises are a hot, exciting topic among women's conversations and guys with thin ones are cause for laughter.