[Stillness]

Dude, everyone doesn't measure their penis and tell their wife how big it is. Everybody has a little vanity or is a bit self-conscious about something, but this extreme concern is only a big deal to people with complexes or people who legitimately are so small or so large that functioning properly is a legitimate concern. The experience of the 5' tall woman says that you don't fall in the latter category.

But let's say you're right and everyone that has posted on your thread (men and women with decades of marital, relationship, and sexual experience) and the short lady's vagina is wrong. What can you do about it? Give up? Get a penis implant that will probably make you deformed or not able to function well? Do some size enhancing exercises that will permanently damage the tissues in your penis?

[Guest]

To the last person who posted 'leave dead relationships in the past'.

I do agree that that's where they should go, once the information has been processed and filed away. But mine hasn't, not yet.

Not when a lot of my partners have commented on my penis size and my experience of relationships has always been to be left for no reason that I can really work out. My past relationships are affecting my outlook on life and my view of women in general.

When I was growing up, I viewed women as these soft, gentle, kind and emotional beautiful beings and they were like, I don't know, angels. And then I started seeing my parents turn on each other and as I got older I saw how nasty women can be and also how nasty men can be, and I told myself Id never be an *******, more than anything else. But;

People have left me in some ****ty ways and with ****ty excuses and ere's always this about the size of my tackle and it's turning me into a cynic. I'm becoming an ******* while Ive been trying my best to avoid it and treat people with dignity and respect.

Honestly mate. Your response was heartfelt and personal and I appreciate it.

But I just don't see myself having a mutually fulfilling relationship with anyone out there.

[LisaW1991]

Its dangerous to speak in generalities because generalities rarely ever apply to a specific person or situtation, but with that said, its common for girls say the like\want\prefer a sensitive guy who opens ups an talks about his insecurities, but when a guys does, girls find its turns them off because they want a guy who is strong and self-confident, even if he has flaws he won't admit too. Which is why, IMHO, girls find bad boys sexually attractive. They like how he takes charge during sex, and really makes it sexually intensive. I know because I've dated a couple guys who were like that, and in the end, it wasn't about a relationship, it was about having intense sex.

If I were to give advice to a guy, when in bed, its best to be confident about yourself rather than use it as a place to confess insecurities. This of course really is a judgement call, and sense I have not been married, I can't speak to how things change in a long term commited relationship. I just know insecurity in bed is best held back for another place and time at least until the very strong relationship and trust has been created..IMHO.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=LisaW1991;351054]Its dangerous to speak in generalities because generalities rarely ever apply to a specific person or situtation, but with that said, its common for girls say the like\want\prefer a sensitive guy who opens ups an talks about his insecurities, but when a guys does, girls find its turns them off because they want a guy who is strong and self-confident, even if he has flaws he won't admit too. Which is why, IMHO, girls find bad boys sexually attractive. They like how he takes charge during sex, and really makes it sexually intensive. I know because I've dated a couple guys who were like that, and in the end, it wasn't about a relationship, it was about having intense sex.

If I were to give advice to a guy, when in bed, its best to be confident about yourself rather than use it as a place to confess insecurities. This of course really is a judgement call, and sense I have not been married, I can't speak to how things change in a long term commited relationship. I just know insecurity in bed is best held back for another place and time at least until the very strong relationship and trust has been created..IMHO. [/QUOTE

It isnt hard to take control during sex. It's hard to enjoy it, or even like it, when women are as contradictive and unsure about what they want as the above. Of course you like men who take charge and who are bad boys, even though you like to admit different. It's no different than really liking big penises and saying you dont mind average or small.

When it comes to it, you arent gonna stay around long when a guys got bedroom trouble and your used to Mr Cocky with a mega-portion.

Just to clarify, I never confessed my insecurities in bed.

And if that's what keeps you in a relationship then we're doomed.

[Guest]

The question I posted was about size. Not whether or not I took charge in bed.

If you want to understand why i might have some confidence issues, then read the previous posts. There isnt a quick fix. But it isnt hard to pretend to be confident in bed.

That's not the issue.

How do I close a thread?

[Stillness]

The admins close threads.

LisaW1991's post was spot on. She spoke about what was important to her. You put words in her mouth because you've made up your mind already.

Also, this is a womans forum, so a lot of the issues are focused on women. One of the common posts is lack of sensation or pleasure from sex. The size of the penis is not a factor in this. There can be a combination of physical and mental issues with the individual. I imagine that there may be other men out there with similar issues. You might do some searches elsewhere on that as I don't recall any men or women posting about the man having these issues.

I wish you the best.

[LisaW1991]

On the penis issue, I think it might be like saying all guys love huge breasts, and girls with small ones (like myself), will be forever on the losing end. However, I've found that there are just as many guys who like the size of my breasts even if they aren't huge. I've found that guys who prefer large breasts aren't the type of guy I'm sexually attracted too, so its a fair\mutual thing. I'm glad I am not attracted to guys who prefer large breasts; I would be very sexually frustrated if that were the case.

Yes, there are going to be girls who prefer guys with a huge erection, and that is what turns them on sexually, and that's OK because that is what they like\perfer\want. Personally, a guy with a huge erection does not get me more sexually excited, and in general, i don't know how big he is before I find a guy sexual attractive or not. I've never had sex with a guy and thought he was too small or too big. Maybe a couple of guys were larger than normal, but it didn't make sex any better. And when I was 12 and saw my first erection, I never thought in a million years a 5-6 inch erection would fit inside me.

[rcoreyus]

Remember that many women do not orgasm just from intercourse. That does not mean that they don't enjoy it - in lovemaking an orgasm is great, but it is not the "goal". If that were all that was important women would prefer vibrators to men.

My wife and I enjoy all sorts of intimate activities. She doesn't orgasm just from intercourse but very much enjoys it. Then we can use fingers, mouth, vibrator etc, with our without intercourse for her to orgasm. We have sex toys, including one that is really huge for times when she feels like that. Other times she feels like something small, or human sized like me.

I think you are focusing on just one aspect of lovemaking, not the entire experience.

One last thing - go to the goodvibrations website and read the review on various sex toys. You will find that while some women prefer the giant toys, others complain that even the modest sized ones are too big to be comfortable. Look at companies like Lelo that market sex toys to women. Most of their toys are modest sized.

Just like men with breast size, women's preferences differ. If all women wanted huge penises, companies like goodvibrations would only sell toys the size of fireplugs. This really is a preference, not "settling". In my case I PREFER women with small to modest sized breasts, I'm not settling for it. Other people have different preferences.

[Guest]

Remember that many women do not orgasm just from intercourse. That does not mean that they don't enjoy it - in lovemaking an orgasm is great, but it is not the "goal". If that were all that was important women would prefer vibrators to men.

My wife and I enjoy all sorts of intimate activities. She doesn't orgasm just from intercourse but very much enjoys it. Then we can use fingers, mouth, vibrator etc, with our without intercourse for her to orgasm. We have sex toys, including one that is really huge for times when she feels like that. Other times she feels like something small, or human sized like me.

I think you are focusing on just one aspect of lovemaking, not the entire experience.

One last thing - go to the goodvibrations website and read the review on various sex toys. You will find that while some women prefer the giant toys, others complain that even the modest sized ones are too big to be comfortable. Look at companies like Lelo that market sex toys to women. Most of their toys are modest sized.

Just like men with breast size, women's preferences differ. If all women wanted huge penises, companies like goodvibrations would only sell toys the size of fireplugs. This really is a preference, not "settling". In my case I PREFER women with small to modest sized breasts, I'm not settling for it. Other people have different preferences.

That's fair enough. But when I have sex with a woman, if we are gonna have sex that is, I want intercourse. It's the most intimate, close aspect of it for me. And it's the way two people are made to have sex, really.

I'd rather remain in a sexless relationship than emasculate myself by buying a toy that's bigger than me.

I wouldn't ask a woman to buy a sex doll with huge breasts and a massive bum so why should I be made to feel inadequate for someone else?

I don't care what size breasts or bum women have. It doesn't factor into my psyche. It means nothing.

I want a woman who I click with mentally and who is also happy with my penis size. And I've found one out of maybe 10 or 12 sexual partners (who were all the former criteria) who is satisfied with the latter criteria. One.

So what's the solution; buy toys that are humongous because her sexual pleasure sometimes depends on it?

Perhaps women need to stop being so selfish in bed and in relationships and stop making orgasm such an important human endeavour. It's like Everest.

You say orgasm (and size) isn't that important during intercourse or during 'lovemaking', so why do you buy huge toys for your wife? And why do you have vibrators and all the rest?

Just one more contradicting answer.

[Guest]

Orgasm is a goal she's willing to flake on whenever a man makes up for it in other ways; whenever he keeps on ticking other sexual and non sexual boxes.

I challenge you; spend a month without concentrating all your sexual efforts on your wife and concentrate on your own masculine pleasure in the same way she concentrates on hers, and I bet you every penny in my bank account that when the month is up she will have started picking fights and your relationship begins declining into bickering and childishness.

I've made women the focus during sex in every relationship and I've done everything I possibly could without bringing a bigger member into the room. There isn't a chance in hell I'm giving up my masculinity for her sexual pleasure. No chance.