[Obelisk]

Hmm, I joined this forum specifically because I have been doing a lot of research on the penis size thing.

I'm a guy who happens to be exactly 5" long and 5" wide. I've considered myself a bit less than average. However, we men are constantly hammered by the media (it's not just porn) that a bigger penis is always better. While I'm not stressing out over my size most of the time, sometimes I do have "panic stresses" when I think a girl might have been with a guy that was packing 8-9" and, and even if there's no physical reason why that would be more pleasurable to her, I do believe psychologically it is more of a turn on to them.

I don't consider myself a breast man, and am normally attracted to small breasted women if they have other qualities (body shape, weight, height, etc). However, even I sometimes do a double take when I see a woman who is carrying a nice sized pair of breasts. If I had a girlfriend who was small breasted, seeing a woman with larger breasts of course would have no impact with my relationship with her.

I guess I kind of see it the same way with women. They are likely to be "happy" with their man's average size, but will definitely do a double take on a guy with a larger member. So if I know for example, that a woman had a guy with 8", then I show up with 5", feel that psychologically she will be disappointed in my size even **if** physically it doesn't make a difference to how she would feel it in an objective sense.

This is soul crushing, and I believe what most of us guys suffer, I think mostly because we want to believe that we could be the best lover for our woman, and being smaller already put us at at disadvantage perceptually.

The ideal IMO would be for men and women to have one partner for life, and learn how to please each other. Obviously that's not going to happen anytime soon.

The way I've dealt with it is simply to look for women who in my mind would more likely enjoy the size I have (asian women on the more petit side).

I've also started doing some of those Penile Enhancement exercises. Realistically, being careful, I could gain an extra 1", which would put me at 6". Not stellar, but better than what I have now.

So yes, it's really hard for guys to accept that women don't care, because deep down we have been brainwashed that you **do** care but are just sparing our feelings. This in turn makes us angry because we feel like beggars on the street who need to be "felt sorry for". I honestly have no idea how we could change this mentality. When we are told something from when we are kids, and constantly get bombarded with the same message, is it any surprise that can't throw that out? I don't think I'll ever be able to. I will always feel that I am the smallest a woman has ever been with.

[Obelisk]

Also, to the original poster.

If you were with a guy for the first time, and he whipped out 3" erect, but was super confident and had no issues with his size, are you honestly going to tell me that you'd be perfectly fine with it?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

For your information one of the best sexual experiences I have ever had was with someone "small".. It was the foreplay that he chose to work on, know full on, that had me.. Anyway.

This is the thing you guys don't get.

It's the woman whom you are seeing/seeking that will claim they want longer, wider, ... It's a WOMAN who will not give a darn as she fell for you, consequently if you can get that, then you can love and if you can love then what ever size you are, will give the ultimate experience ..

What I find is that so many men, like to go in and out until they cum... "Did you enjoy it?".. with a little foreplay.

We all masterbate and can ascertain what we like, but we forget to trust our partner and share that so that, both are totally satisfied.

Sex is sex. Making love is an art. Size DOES NOT matter.

[HisGirl]

Also, to the original poster.

If you were with a guy for the first time, and he whipped out 3" erect, but was super confident and had no issues with his size, are you honestly going to tell me that you'd be perfectly fine with it?

Yep. You got it!

[Obelisk]

This is the thing you guys don't get.

No no, honestly I do get it. I understand that if a woman falls in love with a guy, that his penis size is probably not going to factor in much into what she feels for the man.

I can put myself in a similar situation in my mind, where let's say that I met a girl who had very small breasts, but she was beautiful and very sweet. Her breast size would probably not factor in to me in a way that would affect the way I feel about her.

So yes, on an objective level I understand what you are saying. What I think most men feel (at least, what I feel, but I think other men would agree with me) is that if a woman has had bigger guys, then she will remember those experiences and even if she loves you, physically she cannot help to be disappointed with your size (she might not admit it though). Now for me, I don't really care if a girl has had a bit bigger than me. Let's say 6-7" as compared to my 5". but if she had really large, like 8-9", If that guy was as caring as me to learn that the woman likes and give her proper foreplay, then his extra size probably did enhance her experience, something I can never match, no matter how much she "loves" me. (Even if the "enhancement" was simply on a visual level, which I believe to be 90% of the case for most women).

Yep. You got it!

Ok, totally hypothetical scenario. We need to do a thought experiment here:

Assume that you met 2 guys. They look exactly the same. They are both fit and muscular. They are both the same height that you find attractive. At this point in time you just know them as acquaintances. They are both really sweet guys and you could see yourself being with them if they ask you to be their girlfriend.

So let's say you find out that both guys are going to ask you out this evening, at different times and at different locations. You also find out that one guy has a 7" penis, and the other guy has a 3" penis.

They both end up asking you out and you have a decision to make. Who would you choose and why?

[HisGirl]

I don’t deal in the hypothetical, I live in the real. What are you trying to get at? Are you trying to change my mind? You want elaboration? My original question is about security. It’s easy to be confident and secure with yourself if you have what’s considered a large penis, but it takes a special man with real balls to be secure with a penis that he considers less than ideal for whatever reason. I lack confidence in a lot of areas, so I have a special admiration for it and encourage it in others. A secure man has a lot of power and influence over me. It has nothing to do with physical attributes. It’s not the d-i-c-k its the man wielding it that turns me on. I think you made some very good points in your comments and I respect your opinion. But I don’t post about stuff I don’t believe in. Don’t challenge me about the geniuness of my opinion, it is what it is and it’s not going to change.

[Stillness]

Obelisk, be careful with the extending techniques. Some of that stuff can create scar tissue. As you can imagine, scarring on an organ designed for sensitivity is not ideal. I'd recommend being happy with what you have. Let the size stuff go. Nobody that really matters cares about it.

If you hang around here long enough or just do some searching, you'll find that men and women come in different sizes. Plenty of women experience difficulty and even pain because their man is too large. It's not exactly like breast size because of the primary sexual function. Try to think of it more like vaginal size and ask yourself how much that matters.

[Obelisk]

I don’t deal in the hypothetical, I live in the real

But it's the hypothetical that is hurting us all. Men with their penis size, and women with their breast size. The biggest problem IMO is that penis size is something that the woman doesn't find out until they are both naked, unlike breasts.

If a guy is obsessed with larger breasts for example (which I'm not), he could exclusively look for women with larger breasts. If a woman is obsessed with a larger penis, she can't do anything until she has the guy naked in front of her. By this time, it's hard for the woman to say "look I'm not really happy with your size, so I'm just going to keep on looking" (some of the bolder ones do anyway).

So in general I completely agree with you all that some women genuinely don't care, and some do care. If I could read minds and know that the woman I'm with doesn't care then it would be a non-issue to me. But unless I ask directly (and the woman is honest with me) I could never know if she's happy with me, or just settling for other reasons.

As for your view of confidence, hmm, I don't know what to tell you. I've been working out for a while and I'm pretty muscular and decently fit. I will usually get women staring at me like crazy if I wear tighter shirts. Yet I'm pretty short for a guy (5'6).

So I feel insecure about my height, but confident in my physique. Why would I choose to feel confident about my height instead? If I am shorter than average, it's not something I can boast about. The most I can do is go for shorter women than me, and hope that they are not height obsessed (like some women who are 4'8 and will not consider a guy unless he's 6'4+)

The same with my penis size. If I am barely scraping average, then all I can hope for is that the woman has a smaller vagina, and that she's not obsessed with size. Why would I feel confident about that? Confidence is something you gain when you have assets that others lack. I can use my physique to give me confidence for example. I can use things like my work and income as confidence boosters, etc etc.

If a guy has a 3" penis, why the heck would he feel confident about that? Your lack wanting to answer my hypothetical explains why.

[Obelisk]

Obelisk, be careful with the extending techniques. Some of that stuff can create scar tissue. As you can imagine, scarring on an organ designed for sensitivity is not ideal. I'd recommend being happy with what you have. Let the size stuff go. Nobody that really matters cares about it.

Thanks . Believe me I am completely aware of the risks. I've spent a few weeks reading up on all the techniques. It seems most guys that injure themselves are doing exercises to try to gain "girth" (I'm actually happy with my girth at exactly 5". Would I like more? sure! but not at the expense of causing damage). I primarily want to gain a bit of length. I've seen guys get 2" after a year or two of careful stretching. If I had 7" the whole size thing would be an non issue to me. It's like I said in my previous post, I have no need to carry around some porn sized rod that won't even fit halfway into a woman. I feel that at 7", 95% of the women would find you bigger than average, and it would make it more enjoyable for them (unless they are very small).

If you hang around here long enough or just do some searching, you'll find that men and women come in different sizes. Plenty of women experience difficulty and even pain because their man is too large. It's not exactly like breast size because of the primary sexual function. Try to think of it more like vaginal size and ask yourself how much that matters.

Well I've only been with 2 women in my life. The first one was fit and had C-cup breasts. She was my first, and although her vagina felt good, it felt loose, so I could usually last a few mins no problem. She was white. I ended up "breaking up" with her (we were never boyfriend/girlfriend, so breaking up might not be the right term) because she always made me feel like she was the hot one and she was doing me a favor by sleeping with me. I don't tolerate that kind of crap, so I told her we were done, and that was it.

The second girl I'm with now is Asian, about the same height, not as pretty, and only a B cup. But I couldn't believe how much tighter her vagina is compared to the first girl. I struggle to last more than 30 seconds with her because it's so intense. I do foreplay with her for at least 5-10mins until she asks me to go inside her so I make sure she cums also, and I know she appreciates it.

The whole point? I guess vagina size does in fact matter. I know if I were to stop seeing her and had to find another woman, it would suck a little if she wasn't as tight down there. I honestly hate having to admit that, so I understand why women would find a bigger penis more stimulating.

And yes I plan to stick around. Been reading other threads and you all are great. Men and women definitely need to communicate more, because we need each other and we need our partners to understand us better. So if I can learn (which I already am) great! And if I can help others I appreciate the opportunity.

[rcoreyus]

God help us all when genetic engineering or some other technology lets men have whatever penis size they want.

Seriously though different people like different things. Clearly bigger is not always better for anyone (anyone remember Carmen years ago here....), not a lot of women would enjoy (or even survive) sex with a horse stallion. If you look at sex toys sold by companies that cater to women, the majority are about average-sized, with some smaller and larger ones available. Clearly when women are just looking for the physical sensation, a lot of them prefer fairly average size.

Some women are size-queens, though that seems much more common among gay men. I'm sure penis size is important to some women - just as breast size, or hair color, or height is important to some men and women. For most women though it is just not high on the priority list. Intercourse is just one of MANY different sexual activities that couples enjoy together, not necessarily the best, and many women never orgasm from intercourse alone.

I think that you will find that almost all women believe that the attitude and willingness to please of their lover is far more important in bed than any physical characteristic.

OK, now if I could figure out why some women buy $3000 handbags - surely not to impress men.....