[Stillness]

I haven't noticed a difference between women, but I don't have a lot of experience and there were large gaps of time between my sexual relationships. What I do know is that sex with my wife can feel very different in terms of fit in the same position from time to time. I don't quite know why, but the vagina is supposed to adjust. A healthy one will. It's why one or two fingers can drive a woman crazy. There are also exercises that a woman can do safely to increase the grip. But it's also interesting that I've encountered men in my personal life and on these boards that prefer a looser fit, just as you seem to prefer a tighter one.

My question was: "How much does it matter?" For you it may be a lot, just like for some women it might be. I don't think that's common though. You yourself said that you ended it with the first woman because of her attitude, not her vagina. I've been with women that have certain features that are more attractive than my wife. Unfortunately, all beauty in this life fades. And even when it exists in all it's glory it can be ugly if the person is rotten on the inside. And even if the person is good, a perfect 10 physically just cannot make up for emotional and mental compatibility. The latter are so important that, at least for me, they can make an average person attractive. When I get to that point is when I stop looking at the person as a collection of parts and start viewing them as a whole. The bond makes it so it doesn't matter how what they have compares to someone else. You love them, not their privates or their chest and you are into their body parts because they're attached to them. Maybe you can even start to love yourself the same way.

[Obelisk]

Hmm, this forum should really have a way to tell posters who is male and who is female. lol

Stillness, I thought you were a woman, but I guess you're a guy. Ok, yes you're correct, I didn't end it with the first girl because of her vagina, but rather because of her attitude. I don't really have that much experience either, but since I know what a tighter vagina feels like now, it definitely is something I would miss if I were to get in a relationship with another "looser" woman.

So I would tend to think that the same might happen to women that are with a well endowed man. They might care for you and love you, but they will "miss" that feeling of being full that you can't provide because you lack the size.

This is, I believe what frustrates most men. It's also the fact that the blame always falls on us. 5" girth apparently is supposed to be the high end of average, yet my first girl felt looser (I had to really concentrate on her to be able to get off) but this situation the blame falls on the man (I wasn't big enough to fill her). With my new girl, I now get blamed for premature ejaculation, because it's so hard to hold it since her vagina is so much tighter.

So men can't win even though it's only 50% our problem.

[a_dub]

Obelisk, I am exactly the same size as you. My unit is 5 to 5 and quarter inches in length and 5 inches around the shaft. I also watch a ton of porn, and I also feel like I would probably be the smallest guy any girl has ever been with. ALL of my friends claim to have well endowed. However, I am aware that there are guys with penises even smaller than mine.

I do love big breasts and I spend a lot of time staring at the chests of big breasted women. However, if I fell in love with a girl with small breasts, I wouldn't give a ****. I think women are like that. Big penises are attractive to look at, but not necessary. Its mostly about a guys ego. Just like we want to have a lot of money, a fast car, and a hot girl.

Many women claim that they've had great sex with smaller men. That gives me hope because when I have sex with a woman, I'd like to make sure she enjoys herself and I'm willing to do almost anything to make sure she is satisfied by the time we're done.

[Obelisk]

a_dub, I can honestly say that breast size to be is not important at all. A fit body to me is very sexy no matter what size breasts the woman has.

I don't think 5" is small. The girl I'm with right now is very tight, and she really enjoys being with me. I haven't seen any indication that she thinks I'm small.

I think the biggest problem is that society has basically allowed people to be "free" in having sex with multiple partners. I think this is a very serious problem. Even assuming every guy had the same size penis, and every woman had the same size breasts, it's not easy to have sex with multiple people because you get attached. I still miss the first girl I was with, even though I'm enjoying being with the second girl.

So you'll get cases of women that actually find larger uncomfortable, and are happy to go back to a smaller guy like us. But other women will find that a larger guy feels better to them, and will miss it if they end up with a smaller guy later on.

None of this would be a problem if you and your partner were the first ones to be intimate, and both of you are open to learn what the other likes. I'm honestly jealous of the people here that have been able to experience that.

[greyfox]

I think some of the "insecurity" from men about this subject revolves around a fairly simple misunderstanding. No matter how many times women make it crystal clear that there are many things that trump size in terms of a lover i.e oral skills, patience/attentiveness, etc. men have a single mindedness that makes them believe that if they can make a woman orgasm from vaginal sex alone its like the ultimate confirmation of themselves as a great lover. I've learned over time that as long as your woman has an orgasm or several, they really don't rank one method of getting them there over another.

That said, it has been relayed to me by both my wife and 2 previous partners that a larger(mostly thicker) penis does greatly improve their "odds" of achieving orgasm thru penetration. Maybe some of the ladies here can confirm or dispute this

[Obelisk]

Greyfox, the insecurity, IMO is because we guys believe that women will enjoy a larger penis than a smaller one.

I personally think that the pleasure women get from a larger unit is mostly psychological (they think it will feel better, so it does in their minds). I highly doubt there's a difference between a 5" member and an 8" member provided they are the same girth. But the 8" will "look" more pleasurable.

And women can keep repeating that size doesn't matter 'till the cows come home, but it won't make a difference because we don't know if we end up with a woman to whom it does matter (but she doesn't want to hurt the guy's feelings). This sizing up of past lovers compared to us is what eats us up inside, and unless both the man and woman are determined to save themselves to one particular person for life, this is never going to get resolved, **especially** if the woman has had bigger guys and liked it.

[rcoreyus]

Why the worry about this one body part? Sure some women might enjoy a well endowed man more. Some will enjoy a man with a more agile tongue, or longer fingers, or great stamina, or soft hands, or muscles, or just a knowledge of female anatomy.

[Stillness]

Obelisk, I'm not trying to make you fell alone, because you're not. But it is not what eats "us" up inside. My wife's boyfriend before me just so happened to be taller, slimmer, and more athletic than me. Since we were all friends before the romances, I know what my wife likes in a man physically. He was it more than me. He also told me that he was well-endowed. I don't know how big mine is, but I'd guess it's average, so probably smaller.

But I'm not a height, a penis, or a body. I'm a person - an entire package. She left him and married me. I doubt that penises figured into it, and if they did my (probably) smaller one won out.

Sometimes I feel like some of the advances we've made as a culture come with more steps backwards. Men didn't used to be worried about this. Do you know that some of the ancients viewed a large penis as animalistic and unattractive? I'm not saying it is, but I am saying that this stuff is mental and cultural. Women have been overly sexualized for so long and just when we're becoming more aware of this, it seems like we're falling into the same traps. What is going on? Is it the porn? If you said that money, house, car, and clothes mattered, I'd have to say yes. Unfortunately, that stuff matters. Looks do too. But penis size just doesn't -not enough to make or break a relationship.

If your woman or you are substantially small or large so that sex is problematic, then it starts to become more of an issue. It all cuts both ways though. You don't know how snug a fit your woman is going to be until you get in there. For the average couple with average private parts, I'd say there are much more important things to worry about.

[Obelisk]

Stillness, all I can say is human beings are really messed up sometimes. Our brains are just frustrating in general sometimes.

I'm not obsessed with my size, but it does bother me, and I guess that's never going to go away, so might as well just accept it.

[JonDoe]

People put way too much emphasis on the size of male and female body parts, which I believe is driven primarily by media. The grass always seems greener on the other side, except usually it isn't. I am tall, athletic, well endowed, intelligent, make a very good salary, live in an affluent area and married to a beautiful woman. By some measures, I seem to have it all. Yet, despite also being a very attentive lover and giving my wife powerful orgasms, she still prefers to have sex only twice per month. My wife simply does not think about sex everyday, whereas I think about it all the time. It agonizes me so much that I would give up nearly everything just to be intimate with her 3 to 4 times per week.

We all need to learn to be content and live in the moment. All we have is NOW. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Hell is not a place that the evil soles spend eternity, it is what we put ourselves through here on earth by living life never being content, always wanting more. We could all have more, but we could all have so much less.