[Magnetism]

Ah, it's not letting me edit my post. Effy-sorry if my post came off as snarky. But, I've had some bad experiences where the guy gets angry at me for not cumming easily when being eaten out or not responding the way he wants. . Or, how his technique worked with other women, and not me. Being yelled at and shamed for being how I am causes my body to shut down . To receive pleasure from a man means I have to feel safe emotionally with him. I've still yet to meet the right guy where I can easily receive from him.

[effy2014]

Ah, it's not letting me edit my post. Effy-sorry if my post came off as snarky. But, I've had some bad experiences where the guy gets angry at me for not cumming easily when being eaten out or not responding the way he wants. . Or, how his technique worked with other women, and not me. Being yelled at and shamed for being how I am causes my body to shut down . To receive pleasure from a man means I have to feel safe emotionally with him. I've still yet to meet the right guy where I can easily receive from him.

I was just trying to give you the perspective from the other side. If you took it as a personal criticism, I apologize. You are in control of what you want and don't want to do -- but do not be surprised if a giving man requires the opportunity to reciprocate.

I don't think you ever have to accept a rude or inexperienced lover. Someone who will ever shame you should be kicked to the curb immediately. A giving man would have you help him please you and learn what you need and want, whether or not his technique "worked" on another lover. I get that great sex requires trust and an emotional connection and I hope that you meet that man.

[jen1447]

I get what Magnetism's saying in the sense that there doesn't have to always be a 50-50 split, as long as both parties agree on the split. For example BF loves giving me oral more than life itself, while I'm not huge fan of fellatio, so him carrying most of the load is great for us. On the other hand, I love giving cunnilingus more than life itself lol, so suddenly my workload goes up when I'm with a woman (with the split depending on whatever balance of me liking the getting and her liking the giving works out).

No one should ever be saying "NO!" to a partner's giving or receiving needs, but the formula that works won't always end up being an equal one.

[effy2014]

No one should ever be saying "NO!" to a partner's giving or receiving needs, but the formula that works won't always end up being an equal one.

I've never believed in strict equality -- it doesn't need to be "lick for lick". I also don't believe it has to be a "like kind" exchange either. I tend to think that BF not only gets his share of orgasms but that he never leaves dissatisfied. I've never had a preference in favor of a BJ over intercourse over other stuff. At my age, its usually only once a session and I let her chose what she wants. She loves the power of fellatio and other times needs the feeling of intercourse to feel complete.

In fact, my only "rule" in the bedroom is that neither partner should do anything that does not please them. I could never enjoy anything that was forced, either because she felt she had to or I made her feel bad for not doing.

That said (or written), there is nothing remotely similar to cunilingus to me. I have the same feelings about oral as BF -- it is an integral part of who I am. I have 8 books on the subject and have the most intricate knowledge of my SO's orgasmic anatomy; yet, I still experiment on improving my technique almost every time. I was really just trying to explain why Mag's partner might feel frustrated even while receiving most of the oral attention.

[Stillness]

That said (or written), there is nothing remotely similar to cunilingus to me. I have the same feelings about oral as BF -- it is an integral part of who I am. I have 8 books on the subject and have the most intricate knowledge of my SO's orgasmic anatomy; yet, I still experiment on improving my technique almost every time. I was really just trying to explain why Mag's partner might feel frustrated even while receiving most of the oral attention.

Not everyone is as devoted to the act as you are. I never do it.

[Baboy]

Perhaps Still, you could take out a book or two from effy's library and you might become a devotee.

We need to ask effy if he issues library cards and if he charges overdue fines.

[jen1447]

Reveal: effy2014 is secretly a 32 year old female independent book publisher trying to peddle self help titles.

[Stillness]

My wife doesn't like it.

[Motorguy]

Effy-please tell me where I said I completely deny a man to eat me out. Of course, I will let my partner do what he enjoys. The fact remains that I like giving more than receiving. I agree a guy has to be skilled. If it's not done the right way, I'm not going to feel much. I don't want to be rude , but I don't appreciate being called selfish (unless I misread your post). It's frustrating as it is when I'm called too giving or too nice, just bc I like giving blowjons . People are entitled to like what they like when it comes to sex.

Well that's right some women enjoy giving oral then receiving oral. Noting wrong with that but it sounds like you do like getting oral if it's done right. That makes perfect sense,why do it if your nothing getting any pleasure from it. The problem is some guys don't like to give oral or don't know how to do it correctly so the women just think why bother just a waste of time.

[effy2014]

Not everyone is as devoted to the act as you are. I never do it.

I have been stabbing my pen in my hand all day to day. I am certainly not being critical of anyone for loving or hating cunilingus. I did not mean to be critical of Magnetism (I feel like Bart Simpson and should be writing this 100 times on the blackboard). I will go into the corner now and come out when the group feels that I can type appropriately.