Can You Lose Your Virginity To Objects Like A Tampon Or Dildo?

A: Maybe — but the answer regarding whether or not you can lose your virginity to an object ultimately depends on what the word “virginity” means to you personally.

The concept of virginity is somewhat fluid in its interpretation and much of that comes down to the way you personally view the status of being a virgin.

• What does it mean to lose your virginity?

In the simplest terms, a person is generally considered to be a virgin until the moment they have sex for the first time, whether before marriage, after it, or in the absence of it.

However, “sex” as it pertains to the definition of virginity can be viewed in different ways.

Many people feel that virginity directly relates to consensual sexual activity — typically involving penetration — but not all sexual contact falls under that umbrella.

People engage in a variety of sexual activities, including cunnilingus, fellatio, analingus (also known as rimming), anal sex, fingering, breast sex, gluteal sex, and self-sex (masturbation), among many other forms.

For this reason, the exact definition of virginity — and what it means to lose it — can vary from person to person based on how they define sex.

“One of the things you might want to ask yourself is how you would expect someone else to answer this question,” Dr. Susan Milstein, a human sexuality health educator on our medical review board, said.

“If someone told you they were no longer a virgin, would you assume they had had penetrative intercourse?”

The way you answer that question may help you decide what “virginity” means to you.

In addition, virginity (or the loss of it) can also depend on the way you view consent.

For example, many people do not see virginity as being lost through genital contact or sexual activity that occurs without consent (such as assault or rape).

Because the definition of virginity is so subjective, what it means to lose it can vary considerably depending on who you ask — and there isn’t necessarily a right or wrong answer.

• Can you lose your virginity to a tampon?

Yes, you can lose your virginity to a tampon — but only if you feel that any type of vaginal penetration equates to the loss of virginity.

• Can you lose your virginity to a dildo, vibrator, or sex toy?

Yes, you can lose your virginity to a dildo, vibrator, or insertable sex toy if you consider any type of sexual penetration — with or without another person involved — as being an activity that negates one’s virgin status.

However, not all sex toys are used for penetration.

Clit sucking vibrators, for instance, are typically used externally on the clitoris and vulva (or elsewhere) — they are generally not inserted.

Most people likely would not consider a sex toy of this nature to affect a person’s virginity, but if you feel that this type of genital contact nullifies your status as a virgin, you can lose your virginity in this manner.

• Can you lose your virginity to a Fleshlight?

As with other sex toys, you can lose your virginity to a Fleshlight only if you feel that any kind of penetration counts as negating your status as a virgin.

If you don’t feel that way, and consider virginity to be something that can only be lost to another person, you won’t lose your virginity to a Fleshlight when using one for the first time.

Bottom Line: 

The concept of virginity — and what it means to lose it — is complicated.

In a lot of ways, it’s very similar to the question, “Is using a vibrator a sin?” It ultimately depends on what you believe.

For this reason, there really isn’t a right or wrong answer when you’re wondering whether you can lose your virginity to an inanimate object.

The best way to answer this question begins with asking yourself what it means to be a virgin — and then applying your personal definition to the scenario.