First Time Fleshlight: Everything You Need To Know

If it’s your first time using a Fleshlight, there are important things to know about preparation, use, and maintenance beforehand.
photograph of product tester justin holding a fleshlight while looking at it and inserting his fingers into it
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Updated:December 2023

So, you have your first Fleshlight — congratulations!

While you might be excited to jump right in (and we don’t blame you) there are some important things you should know about their preparation, use, cleaning, and maintenance first.

Watch our video below to learn more:

Key Takeaways:

  • Steps for using a Fleshlight for the first time:
    • Remove the plastic shipping tube from the sleeve, if there is one
    • Lube the orifice and sleeve (and yourself, if you like)
    • Loosen the air valve cap if your model has one (Quickshots do not)
    • Insert your penis
    • Tighten the Fleshlight’s air valve to create the desired suction or, if using a Quickshot, you can cover the other end with your hand if you like
    • Stroke at the speed or intensity you enjoy
  • Although Fleshlights are easy to use, there are considerations — including compatible lube, thorough cleaning, and proper storage that will ensure it lasts as long as possible.
  • Whether or not you can lose your virginity to a Fleshlight ultimately depends on how you define the word or the meaning behind it.

They say you never forget your first, and that holds true for your first Fleshlight.

We’ll take you through the process of using a Fleshlight for the first time and offer some helpful tips to get the most out of your experience.

How To Use A Fleshlight For The First Time

Before you begin using your Fleshlight for the first time, it is important to prepare the toy (and yourself) for the experience.

You can’t simply take a Fleshlight to Pound Town straight out of the box.

How To Prepare A New Fleshlight Before Use

The moment is almost here, but there are some steps to take before getting down to business.

The first — and most important — step is that you remove the hard-as-hell plastic tube that is hiding inside the sleeve. 

It may take a little finagling, but trust me when I say you do not want to skip this step.

photograph of product tester justin wearing a surprised expression while staring at the plastic shipping tube inside of the riley reid fleshlight with text overlay that says: you must remove the plastic shipping stick from the sleeve before use!

It is a lesson I only needed to learn once.

After that is done, it is time to lube up your first Fleshlight.

The box should contain a small packet of Fleshlube, which is water-based.

Only use water-based lubricant with your Fleshlight, as it is non-reactive with the material and won’t lead to product degradation.

Pro Tip: Don’t use the Fleshlube for actual vaginal or anal sex. It has citric acid in the ingredients, which can upset pH and cause discomfort or infections.

If you have a preferred water-based lube on hand already, that will also work.

Watch our video below for a demonstration of applying lube to a Fleshlight:

Pour some personal lubricant into the Fleshlight’s opening and let it drip down through the sleeve, or spread it around with your fingers.

It’s a good idea to lube yourself up as well to keep things running smoothly.

The screw cap on the non-business end of the Fleshlight is there to control the flow of air and suction, although Quickshot models — which are shorter and open-ended on either side — do not have this.

If you want to make entering your first Fleshlight easier, loosen the cap a bit and tighten it to your preference after you’re inside.

Once you’re ready to go, you can insert your penis into the Fleshlight and have at it.

You can use it more like a stroker, sliding the pocket pussy up and down your penis with your hand, or you can place it between some cushions or pillows to hold it in place as you hump your way to the grand finale.

How To Use A Fleshlight Or Quickshot For Masturbation

photograph of product tester justin inserting a purple dildo into the orifice of a fleshlight to demonstrate insertion

If you bought your first Fleshlight for some alone time, here are the basics of how to use one for masturbation — and they’re essentially the same as we covered above, no matter if you’re using a full-sized model or a Quickshot:

  1. Remove the plastic shipping tube from the sleeve, if there is one
  2. Lube the orifice and sleeve (and yourself, if you like)
  3. Loosen the air valve cap if your model has one (Quickshots do not)
  4. Insert your penis
  5. Tighten the Fleshlight’s air valve to create the desired suction or, if using a Quickshot, you can cover the other end with your hand if you like
  6. Stroke at the speed or intensity you enjoy

The raised ridges on the outside of a full-sized Fleshlight give you a good grip for stroking, I’ve found.

You can also have something hold the Fleshlight still for you to plow into.

Either way, when you’re ready to rock, insert your penis into the opening and tight/loosen the end cap for your preferred level of suction.

The suction also helps the sleeve itself grip more as you use it.

If you’re using a Quickshot, which is open-ended on either side, you can cover the end of it with one hand if you like, or let the head of your penis pop out like a turtle from its shell.

Dealer’s choice — do whatever feels good to you.

Go ahead and finish inside your first Fleshlight, remove your penis from the sleeve, chill out for a second or two, then get to cleaning.

The cleaning process is easier than it seems, but still very important.

You’ll need to rinse, wash, and dry the sleeve and case thoroughly before putting it away in your favorite Fleshlight hiding place.

How To Enjoy Your First Time Using A Fleshlight

photograph of product tester justin wearing a sly grin after unboxing the riley reid utopia fleshlight

A Fleshlight can simulate the sensation of real sex, but pumping away into a disembodied vagina, anus, or mouth can feel more than a little odd at first.

It’s okay to feel unsure about it, or to even be amused by it — we’ve all been there, and trust me when I say you’re not alone.

It can feel a little ridiculous, on the surface, especially at first.

So take the pressure off and consider it as an exploratory mission of sorts.

You’re trying something new, so remove any expectations about how it might feel or whether you’ll orgasm at all — and just see where the experience takes you.

If you cum, you cum.

If you don’t, then you don’t — and you can try it again another time.

Here are some ways to take your first time with a Fleshlight to the next level.

One I already mentioned is using something to hold the Fleshlight in place so you can throw that D.

I personally prefer using two pillows with the Fleshlight stuffed between them so I can grab the sides of the pillows like a pair of hips.

Another way to ramp up the action is by heating up the sleeve to get closer to body temperature.

This can be done easily with Fleshlight’s own sleeve warmer, a heating pad, or submerging it in warm (not boiling hot) water.

One more great tip I can offer: if you’re using a Fleshlight based on your favorite adult film star, watch some of their work while using their Fleshlight.

Bonus points if you have a VR headset — which can make for a much more immersive virtual reality Fleshlight experience.

Can You Lose Your Virginity To A Fleshlight?

While I’m tempted to say “Of course not,” the answer really depends on your definition of virginity and whether you feel sex toys or objects affect a person’s “status” as a virgin.

Some people think sexual activity of any kind counts as losing your virginity, while others have found some interesting loopholes.

Do you remember “saddlebacking”— where Christian teens engaged in anal sex to technically meet their faith’s version of virginity?

It’s kind of like that, only based on your version of virginity and what it means.

Personally, I think if masturbation counts as snapping your V-card in half and you’re paying for your first Fleshlight, then there isn’t much to be concerned about.

Tips For Using A Fleshlight For The First Time

photograph of product tester justin holding the riley reid utopia fleshlight while touching the surface of the material

Here are some quickfire tips on how to get the most out of your very first Fleshlight:

  • Treat it like a special occasion and take your time
  • Warm the sleeve up to make the Fleshlight feel more real
  • If you have one based on a specific actor, enjoy some VR or 2D point-of-view (POV) porn they star in
  • Place the Fleshlight between some cushions or pillows that you can simulate blowing the back out of
  • Make sure to get even and complete coverage with your water-based lube of choice

Tips For Couples Using A Fleshlight Together For The First Time

Before going down this road, it is super important to communicate whether or not your partner even wants a Fleshlight to enter the equation.

Not everyone will enjoy having a Fleshlight sprung on them out of the blue.

One way to enjoy them together is with mutual masturbation: your partner uses whatever sex toy or vibrator they enjoy on themselves while you use the Fleshlight.

Another idea is putting on some porn you both enjoy and securing the Fleshlight into some cushions for a mock three-way.

This way y’all can enjoy some of the benefits of a threesome — without the awkward breakfast the next morning.

What To Know About Fleshlights

aerial photograph of a many various fleshlight products including fleshlight girls, vibro, anal models, pink lady and accessories laid out on a wood floor

Fleshlights may be one of the most popular sex toys for people with penises, but there is plenty to uncover before picking up your very first.

Fleshlights are a type of stroker or pocket pussy that you put your penis in.

The sleeve is not silicone, but rather a proprietary material called Super Skin derived from mineral oil — and that feels unlike anything else out there.

The interior sleeve of a full-sized Fleshlight typically has an ornate and unique texture with multiple chambers, while the plastic outer casing has an air-flow control cap on the end that controls suction for maximum stimulation.

Fleshlight Quickshots, on the other hand, are open-ended on either side and the length for insertion is comparatively shorter.

Fleshlights do require careful cleaning and drying to avoid mold buildup and degradation of the sleeve, but they’re worth it, in our experience.

How To Choose Your First Fleshlight

If you’re brand new to Fleshlights, this is where you get to choose your own adventure, as it were.

Fleshlights come in a dizzying variety of textures and styles, so choosing one may be overwhelming at first.

Thankfully, each page on Fleshlight’s website shows the options and textures in detail so you can pick the ones that look the most exciting for you.

Another blessing the Fleshlight gods have bestowed is the line of Fleshlights based on popular porn stars, both male and female.

Fleshlight Girls and Fleshjack Boys have an orifice that is modeled after the actors’ own anatomy, vaginal and anal (or both).

If you’re not sure where to start, find an actor that you are either a fan of already or someone who strikes your fancy.

My first one was Riley Reid — and trust me when I say that her Utopia texture made me see the light.

There are plenty of variety and new models regularly get added to the roster, so pick whichever one seems like the most fun for you!

If all else fails and you simply can’t decide, you can always pick a basic model based on no one in particular, like the Fleshlight Classic Pink Lady Heavenly.

Are Fleshlights Safe?

photograph of fingers pulling at the material of a fleshlight sleeve to demonstrate its stretchy texture

Fleshlights are overall a safe sex toy to use with one or two caveats.

First of all, and I know this has been said a lot above, make sure to remove the plastic shipping tube.

If you get over-excited and forget, that is going to hurt.

(I speak from experience, here.)

The Fleshlight sleeve itself is made of Super Skin, which is porous, so be sure to properly clean and dry your Fleshlight after to avoid mold and mildew growth.

Only use Fleshlube or water-based lube with your Fleshlight to avoid the material breaking down and becoming harder to clean.

We also do not recommend using the Fleshlube for real intervaginal or anal sex, as the citric acid can lead to discomfort and/or infections.

Closing Thoughts

Speaking as a dude in his mid-30s who had never experienced a Fleshlight until recently, there is something special about your first time.

Follow our tips and tricks and you’ll not only get the most out of your first Fleshlight, but you’ll open doors to a whole new world of sexy fun!

Editor’s Note: This article is part of our Complete Guide To Fleshlights and Everything Fleshlight hub, in-depth and evolving resources that comprehensively explore and review all aspects of Fleshlights from the company’s discreet billing and shipping, to the types of products they carry, how to use them, materials, and safety.