Using A Vibrator For The First Time: Everything You Need To Know

Using a vibrator for the first time doesn’t have to be intimidating. Discover how to choose the right one for you and how to use it solo or with your partner.
Aerial Photograph Of Table Place Setting Displaying A Bowl Filled With 6 Small Vibrators And A Strawberry

If you’re new to using sex toys, a simple vibrator might be the perfect place to begin.

Even if you’ve got the most straightforward vibe on hand, however, understanding how to use it can lead to a more successful and fulfilling experience the first time — and every time.

If you’re ready to get started (and we hope you are), we’ll explain everything you need to know about using a vibrator for the first time.

In this article, we’ll talk about:

Editor’s Note: This article is part of our How To Use A Vibrator and Everything Vibrators hubs, in-depth and evolving resources that comprehensively explore all aspects of vibrators from the different types and how to use them, to materials and safety — created to help you achieve the sexual pleasure you deserve.

What You Should Know Before Using A Vibrator

Photograph Of Woman With "Hush" Finger Over Mouth, Holding Vibrator In Other Hand

If you’ve never owned or used a vibrator, choosing your first one is the most important decision — one that hinges on understanding what a vibrator is and how it works.

Vibes are available in a wide array of styles, sizes, and shapes. Some have ridges or texturing, others are smooth to the touch.

There are vibrators designed to hit all your favorite pleasure points — whether you’re a fan of clitoral stimulation, G-spot play, or deep vaginal penetration.

Whatever your pleasure, there’s a vibrator out there that can satisfy it.

But you’ve got to choose one first.

How To Choose A Vibrator

The best first-time vibrator is going to depend on your stimulation preferences and personal needs.

Many people begin their vibrator exploration with bullet vibes since they’re one of the most basic styles available.

Start with something simple when you’re ready to buy your first vibrator.

It may be worth taking our vibrator quiz created by people who understand the way each vibrator works and tailors the results to your needs once you’ve answered a handful of simple questions.

If you feel comfortable doing so, ask your friends about their first vibrator!

They might have a recommendation for a good first vibe, advice about features to look for, and they’ll possibly even share horror stories about which ones to avoid.

Buying a vibrator or sex toy is easier than ever.

Discreet websites like Adam & Eve offer hundreds of vibrators to choose from, along with pictures, in-depth descriptions, ratings, and even user reviews.

You can read up on literally hundreds of cool vibrators, clit-suckers, and so much more — all from the comfort of your computer or mobile device.

Many people start with a budget in mind when they shop for their first vibrator.

That’s a good idea, but be flexible. This is, after all, an investment in pleasure and your sexual health.

Besides — you can’t really put a price on a kickass orgasm, can you?

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How To Prepare A New Vibrator Before Use

Just like kitchen tools or new underwear, always clean any new vibrator before the first use.

Sure, it may look clean straight out of the package, but factories are not sterile places.

Residue from the manufacturing process or packaging materials may be left on the surface of the vibrator, so it must be cleaned before it is ready for use.

To protect yourself and increase the longevity of your new vibrator, you can use a sex toy cleaner designed for that purpose. We personally love this one from Adam & Eve.

If you don’t have any sex toy cleaner on hand, mild soap and water are perfectly fine!

The other vital part of preparing your first vibrator for use is to purchase a compatible lubricant.

Not sure what kind of lube you need? We’ve got a quiz for that.

The best lubes to use with a vibrator:

  • Have no potential allergens that could affect you (such as nut-based oils).
  • Are free from potentially harmful ingredients, including parabens and glycerin.
  • Are compatible with the way you intend to use it (such as in the bath or shower, or on dry land).
  • Are compatible with your vibrator’s materials.

Silicone lubes are a great example when it comes to vibrator compatibility.

Contrary to what you might think, silicone-based personal lubricants are not compatible with silicone sex toys. They’ll degrade the material over time, ruining the vibrator in the process.

If your vibe is made from silicone, water-based lubes are ideal.

Unsure about what you need? It’s easy to select the right lube for your vibrator.

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How To Use A Vibrator For The First Time

Photograph Of Flame-Shaped Vibrator Held In Hand Slipping Out From Beneath Heavy Blanket

Whether you plan to use it with a partner or you just want to explore a little self-love on your own, a vibrator can be a great way to learn more about your body’s sexual responses.

Not sure how to use a vibrator for the first time?

Start by setting the mood for some playtime alone.

Even if you intend to use your vibrator during partnered sex, it’s a good idea to take it for a spin on your own, just to get a feel for it first.

Allow yourself to be relaxed and unhurried. Choose a time when no one is going to be around to interrupt.

Remember that orgasm doesn’t necessarily have to be the goal, so don’t pressure yourself.

When using a vibrator for the first time, you’re going to experience a plethora of new sensations — and those can take a little getting used to in the beginning!

It might take you a while to learn how to orgasm with a vibrator, and that’s perfectly normal.

Additionally, make sure that you:

  • Consider positioning based on what the vibe is designed for
  • Start with the lowest intensity or speed and work your way up as needed
  • Try out any special features like thrusting, rotating, warming, or sucking so you can experience the range of what your vibrator has to offer
  • Experiment on other erogenous zones like your nipples, inner thighs, or anywhere else you think vibration might feel nice
  • Go slowly and use lube when you’re learning how to insert your vibrator — don’t rush it, and if it’s uncomfortable at any point, stop
  • Go with your instincts; there are very few wrong ways to do it

Speaking of doing things incorrectly, only use a vibrator anally if it is designed to be used in that manner.

If your vibrator can be used vaginally and anally, always make sure to clean it between orifices — don’t go back and forth between the vagina and anus, as bacteria transfer can lead to UTIs and other infections.

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How To Enjoy Your First Time Using A Vibrator

People have told me that they feel very “silly” using a vibrator for the first time — and sometimes even after that.

Others have said they feel “dirty,” “guilty,” or even “ashamed.”

Hearing things like that makes me sad. There’s nothing wrong with self-pleasure.

In fact, masturbation and orgasm offer a myriad of health benefits like more restful sleep, improved mood, and stress reduction, and it can even address menstrual symptoms like PMDD and cramps.

If it feels good, don’t let shame, guilt, or silliness stop you from enjoying vibrators — or any other sex toy.

That said, there are a few things you can do to ensure the best possible first experience using a vibrator:

  • Read the instructions that came with your new sex toy — they’ll explain how to find and use the various settings, and provide best practices for positioning and charging
  • If you’re not sure which lube is right for you and your new toy, water-based lubricants are a universally safe choice for all sex toy materials
  • Ensure that you aren’t allergic to any of the materials your sex toy is made from, nor to the lube you’ve chosen
  • Get a working knowledge of how to adjust the intensity and vibe patterns before you begin using your new vibrator
  • If your new vibe has one, find the rapid-off switch and know how to use it without looking — believe me, you’ll be glad you did

Remember that it may take a while for you to “learn” how to cum with a vibrator since the sensations you’ll be experiencing are brand new.

Similarly, if you’re trying to learn how to squirt with a vibrator, it’s probably going to take time, a little trial and error, and possibly some degree of patience.

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How To Use A Vibrator For Masturbation

Many people have been taught that masturbation alone is sinful, dirty, or something only “sluts” do.

We don’t slut shame around here. More importantly, pleasure is for everyone.

The key to successfully masturbating with your first vibrator is to let your body guide you.

If something feels good — do it. If it doesn’t, try something else.

For certain types of sex toys — like clit sucking vibrators, for example — positioning and angle are crucial.

That’s why reading the instructions and reviews is a great first step.

Some users treat a vibrator as a substitute penis, and that’s fine. Others might use it specifically for the vulva, clitoris, G-spot, or a combination of all three.

It won’t take long for you to figure out what type of stimulation works best for you.

Experimenting might even give you ideas for which sex toys you want to try next!

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​​How Can Couples Use Vibrators Together For The First Time?

Communication is the most important aspect of using a vibrator for the first time as a couple.

A lot of different feelings might come into play here — trepidation, excitement, embarrassment, shyness, fear, anxiety…I could go on.

If you’re considering experimenting with vibrators with your partner — even if they’re aware of your desire to bring a vibe into the bedroom — it’s best to talk about it in a non-sexual location first.

This removes any perceived pressure to play with a vibrator in the heat of the moment and gives both partners a chance to talk about it openly, share their honest feelings, and possibly even choose one together.

Vibrators can be used face-to-face (so to speak) during any part of sex play, for clitoral stimulation during intercourse, or in any other way you choose.

Did you know there are couples vibrators designed for long-distance use?

Or that some cock rings can be outfitted with a bullet vibrator to give intense pleasure to both partners?

There are so many options for using a vibrator with a partner.

There aren’t really any hard and fast rules, either — save one.

Vibrators should never be used anally unless they’re designed specifically for anal use.

Beyond that, the best thing to do is use your vibrator as a tool for playful experimentation with your partner.

No pressure, no expectations — just intimate fun together.

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  • Do You Need Lube With A Vibrator?

It’s a good idea to keep a compatible lubricant handy whenever you’re trying out a new vibrator.

Depending on your body’s natural lubrication, you might not need it — but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

A water-based lubricant has a texture that’s similar to your body’s self-made lube and works well with toys made from any material.

This is especially good if you’re not sure what your toy is made from, though you probably should be aware of this if you read the manual.

Always consult your vibrator’s manual if you want to use silicone or oil-based lubricants to make sure they are compatible with your toy.

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Tips For Using A Vibrator For The First Time

Photograph Of Woman's Midriff As She Lies In Bed Reading Instruction Cards For Using A Mystery Vibe Crescendo

First-time vibrator users might feel a bit overwhelmed by all there is to know about vibe use.

Additionally, getting relaxed and in the right frame of mind can feel impossible to those who are juggling a long to-do list, stressful jobs, kids and pets, and the general pressures of daily life.

But it’s worth getting into that headspace for the pleasure and the good feelings it can produce.

Speaking of which, perhaps the most vital part of the entire experience involves not pressuring yourself to reach orgasm the first time.

It might even take multiple tries to climax, particularly when you’re learning with a new vibrator — and that’s totally okay.

It’s completely normal.

You haven’t failed at masturbation or sex just because you didn’t come.

In fact, emphasizing orgasm over general pleasure may make it even harder to achieve that explosive finish because you’re too focused on what you’re body isn’t doing.

What Else Should You Keep In Mind With First Time Vibrator Use?

  • Ensure you’re in the right mood for the occasion
  • Relax, de-stress, and get comfortable beforehand – maybe with some meditation, yoga, or a hot bath
  • Use a lube that’s compatible with your adult toy; if you’re unsure of your vibrator’s material, a water-based lubricant is the safest choice
  • Try using your vibrator on other erogenous zones that aren’t your genitals as you get familiar with the sensations, and then ease it toward your pleasure spots when you’re ready
  • Experiment with the vibrator’s speed and intensity, but don’t begin on the highest setting for either
  • Remember that you’ll be feeling entirely new sensations — it’s okay if you enjoy them, hate them, or are unsure about them

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Are Vibrators Safe?

Photograph Of Two Hands Holding Vibrators And Touching Their Tips Together

When used according to the specifications in the instruction manual, yes — vibrators are safe.

For everyone — even virgins.

That said, if a virgin uses a vibrator designed for vaginal penetration, it’s important to use lube and insert the vibrator slowly — stopping if it becomes uncomfortable or painful.

If you’re buying your vibrator from a reputable source, it will likely be made of body-safe silicone, metal, or ABS plastic.

Provided you don’t have allergy concerns, these are very safe.

Avoiding dangerous materials is vital to safe vibrator use. These include any of the materials on our list of unsafe sex toy materials to avoid.

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Will I Get Desensitized From Using Vibrators?

In short, no.

This is a common question and there are plenty of unseemly rumors about it floating around out there — which can be scary for first-time vibrator users.

Just as masturbation doesn’t make people go blind, using a vibrator isn’t going to ruin your bits for fun later on.

Don’t believe the negative hype.

Even if you overdo it and feel some numbness in your genitals because you got a little overzealous with the vibrator intensity, it’ll go away in a bit — kind of like when your foot falls asleep and circulation returns.

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Can You Lose Your Virginity To A Vibrator?

This can be a tricky question to answer depending on what one means by “virginity” — and if your definition of the term relates to hymen breakage or some form of partnered sex.

Is it possible to break the hymen during vibrator use with vaginal penetration? Yes.

It’s also possible to break it while riding your first bike, on horseback, during gymnastics or other athletic activities — and many other ways.

According to modern morality, one line of thinking is this: If you have not had consensual sex with a partner, you’re a virgin.

But ultimately, how you define your virginity — and whether vibrator use causes you to lose it — is up to you.

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In Conclusion

Your first time using a vibrator can be a fun learning experience.

You’re likely to discover new things about your body’s sexual responses that’ll be useful for future masturbation sessions, and if you’re into it, sex with a partner.

If you’re still searching for your perfect vibrator, check out our Everything Vibrators guide to explore all of your options.

And if you don’t know what kind of vibrator to start with, take our vibrator quiz to find your perfect match!