Should Teens Use Vibrators?
“There is no should when it comes to sex play,” Dr. Susan Milstein, a human sexuality health educator on our medical review board, explained, adding:
“Would it help teens if they had the opportunity to discover what they like sexually for themselves, without a partner? Absolutely! But if they’re not comfortable with using a vibrator then they shouldn’t be pressured into it.
What’s important when it comes to teens and vibrators is that the teen is educated on vibrators, that they know it’s an option, and that they’re free to make their own choices.”
Some adults worry that vibrator use is a sin, it’ll cause desensitization or nerve damage, it’ll take their virginity away, or that it’s similar to a gateway drug — leading to the development of an insatiable appetite for sex and eventual promiscuity.
Those worries often come from our own internalized shame, the way sex was handled (or not) when we were young, and the false belief that if we never talk to kids about sex, they’ll magically wait until adulthood to get laid.
It doesn’t work that way.
As parents and guardians, it’s our job to ensure we’re doing our best to keep our teenagers safe — and that includes guiding them through their sexual self-exploration once they become ready to enter that chapter of their lives.
Why should teens be educated about vibrators? Let us count the ways:
- Self-pleasure — with or without battery-operated help — reduces sexual shame and stigma surrounding masturbation.
- It also helps ensure the next generation knows how their body works and what they enjoy sexually. If you know what feels good, it’s much easier to figure out what feels bad — and that’s important when it comes to consent and sexual satisfaction with partners later on.
- Encouraging masturbation while talking to teenagers about sex doesn’t encourage them to have sex. In fact, one study found that sex education is associated with delayed engagement in partnered sex.
- Vibrator use may help teenage girls to close the orgasm gap over the long term.
As parents and guardians, we might not want to think about our child’s sexual pleasure too closely, but we also don’t want their sex lives as adults to be miserable.
Right?
The idea of talking about this with your teenager can feel overwhelming, especially if sexual discussions have rarely (or never) taken place, but that doesn’t make these discussions any less important.
While you shouldn’t force a vibrator on your teen if that isn’t something they’re interested in, providing them with one if they are open to it is a way to ensure their safety and sexual wellness at the same time.